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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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all sorts of SH - June 10th 2017, 10:11 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

As most of you know, I have been self-harming since I was five years old.

Lately I have been in a deep depression. I have been avoiding cutting. I think I have gone over a month without actually cutting myself. The thing is though, I have been biting myself it is swollen because of all the bruises about 5-10 times a day. My right wrist has so many bites on it that it is swollen. I also have been digging my nails into my skin to feel any pain. Also when I am out and about and cannot bite myself or can't make things that obvious I drag my nails across my skin, not enough to break the skin but enough to have it hurt and sting for a while. early this morning around 2am I kept scratching the hell out of my neck at first it started out by this annoying bump on my neck but then I just kept scratching and scratching. Now I have a big red patch on my neck that hurts like hell.

I hate doing this to myself it sucks. All I really want to do is take something sharp and just cut myself. It would be so much easier then biting myself all the damn time. I hate that I have to do this to make myself feel better and actually feel good for once.

I hate myself so damn much and it sucks. I hate the fact that I have to hurt myself to feel alive and happy. I just hate myself so much.

I honestly don't know what exactly I am looking for in this post. Maybe I am looking for some support and advice. I know the alternatives and they don't help with this because I do it in the moment without even thinking about it.

I am such a fuck up. I might as well just give up and continue hurting myself because I don't think I will ever be able to live without hurting myself in some way or another.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: all sorts of SH - June 11th 2017, 04:36 AM

sorry for the late reply.

Stopping self harm is rilly f***ing hard. I used to do that. I threw away my blades. I put duck tape on my hand and arm, I even made a ducktape gloves, sticky side away from arm, that I couldnt take off so that I wouldnt hurt myself. I even started to make wood knives (i still do) That wer blunt enough that I couldnt cut. I wouhld use them for food and I threw my other metal ones away.
Why are you depresssed? figure cthat out and fight that. not yourself.
   
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Re: all sorts of SH - June 11th 2017, 10:29 PM

I understand what you are going through, I have/do SH. It is really f***ing hard to quit. What you need to do is first understand your depression. Instead of fighting yourself, which leads to no results, fight that depression. Put ducktape on your wrists and on your nails. Wear gloves. Cover your hands and wrists. This will help. Message me if you need to talk. I have many scars myself and I can help you if you need it. Just know, we care about you and we want you to be safe.
   
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