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Bianca_Mae Offline
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Unhappy Help? I don't know what to do... - June 17th 2017, 02:19 AM

So I've been posting a few different things on this thread lately, and so if you haven't seen my other posts, heres some background info.

I began cutting in march, and I am still cutting to this day. I've been trying to quit for sometime now, but relapses are becoming more and more common. I know, self harm is an addiction, and i think I am losing control.

I have two friends that know, lets call them C and H. C has known since the end of march, and has been keeping it a secret, and was fine with that, until this week. Our friend had an anxiety attack, and left the school leaving her stuff behind during the school day. We were all called down and it was revealed that she was cutting, and at the time we hadn't known why she left, so we all thought of the worst.

After that, C became stuck on the fact that I need to get professional help, and soon. But doing that involves telling my parents. Something I am not very keen on doing. My parents don't understand depression, they don't get it. And I know that sounds cliche, but today my dad was like, "Kids your age shouldn't have depression, they have no reason to." And I know thats not true, but it hurts to hear. I am not officially diagnosed with depression, but between the cutting and the symptoms of depression, its pretty clear.

C started having panic attacks and my self harm contributed, because he's scared something will happen to me if I don't stop cutting. He's going away for the summer so he wants me to tell my parents about it before he leaves, because he thinks I am getting worse. H is his girlfriend, and my friend. I told her and she's been a big help, this was two days ago. They both agree I need a therapist and a psychiatrist. But since I'm a minor, that involves telling my parents, for legal reasons. I'm just not ready to tell them, because neither understand just how bad depression is.

But to be honest, I'm scared. Ive been finding smaller and smaller reasons to cut. Like the addiction is getting worse, and I'm giving in.

I don't want to be sent to a mental hospital, but at the same time I do. I know that sounds weird, but like I still want to cut, and I know therapy won't stop it, because they can't stop me from cutting.

I need advice... help?

~Bianca
   
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Re: Help? I don't know what to do... - June 17th 2017, 02:57 AM

This was very upsetting to read. I would suggest covering your wrists or anywhere you normally cut in duck tape and keep your nails very short. Also, give all your cutting tools to a friend, C or H. My dad is the same way about depression, so maybe talk to a different family member about getting help? Also, about the mental hospital, I understand your feelings on it. It can be a great place to get help but not the best place to be. My friend was sent to a mental hospital for trying to commit suicide, and she told me that it was the most awful experience of her life, yet it helped her. That's something that you need to research more about. I hope it gets better for you. PM me whenever you need to talk. <hugs and lots of love>
   
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Re: Help? I don't know what to do... - June 17th 2017, 04:00 AM

If your parents are supportive then telling them can actually be a great thing because you can get help. My parents had to force me to get help because I was so against therapy and if they hadn't gotten me into therapy when they had...I likely would have attempted suicide at an earlier date. However, if your parents aren't all that supportive that can end up causing more issues.

It is difficult to know what to do in this case because it definitely sounds like your parents, especially your dad, don't really get mental health but that doesn't automatically mean that they will not be supportive. Sometimes parents don't understand mental health but when they realize their child is struggling they don't hesitate to get their child help.

I am wondering if you can compromise with your friends and either 1) Agree to talk to your parents about your mental health but you can phrase it in such a way where you won't have to reveal every single detail about what you are struggling with. That way, you can kind of test their reaction, if they have a bad reaction to what you do talk to them about you can try and re-evaluate what to do from there. 2) You could consider talking to the counselor at your school. Maybe if your friends knew you were getting help from someone they wouldn't worry as much. And, by talking to the counselor at your school it's possible that the counselor can help you work up to talking to your parents or can help you find coping skills for your depression.

I do think that getting help for this is important because it is something that can spiral out of control and it can spiral fast. However, it is important that you seek help in a way that you won't end up getting into a situation that will be more damaging to your mental health such as parents who are unwilling to get you support.

Best of luck and if you'd like to chat feel free to message me.


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