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-   -   Been feeling really low.. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t151918-been-feeling-really-low/)

darkshadow13 June 25th 2017 04:38 PM

Been feeling really low..
I've been struggling to come to terms with my thoughts lately. I can't enjoy or like myself at all. This is due to thoughts of self hatred, some of which are from my actions in the past. I cannot get over my mistakes at all, and continue to punish myself everyday. I feel like I have brought this all upon myself and that I am terrible. I know that I am sorry for my mistakes, but feel that others will not be so forgiving. I am scared of being hated and lonely. It has made me afraid to go outside, and I now am very judgemental of everything I do or say. This causes me to remain quiet most of the time. As for the self harm, I've begun to scratch my leg very hard, making it red and peeling the skin. I'm afraid I will make it bleed. I limit myself to what I can eat and I purposely stay up late, making myself tired. This is all to cope with this horrible feeling.To me, it's kind of like a punishment for what I have done. I feel like I'll never be able to get over anything and live a miserable life of self-hatred. I don't know if this is my mind over-reacting, or if everyone feels the same about mistakes. I just feel horrible and am ashamed to leave the house or speak with people. I feel like I don't deserve help, but I know that if I don't, then things will only get worse. Please help, as I genuinely feel awful 24/7.

DeletedAccount42 June 26th 2017 05:41 PM

Re: Been feeling really low..
Hey hon,

I'm not sure what happened in your past to make you feel like this, and if you're not read you don't have to tell, but if you are, feel free to PM me what happened. If you scratch I would suggest keeping your fingernails very short and having a trusted someone keep sharp tools away from you. You deserve help, don't ever think you don't. Feeling like this is not a punishment for what you have done. You need help, and we are happy to provide it. Remember that you are an amazing, beautiful, and strong individual. You deserve to be happy. ❤️❤️

cynefin June 27th 2017 07:10 PM

Re: Been feeling really low..
It can be difficult when your mind tends to replay things that you've done or experienced in the past. One thing to remind yourself is that you can't go back and change things, you can only improve going forward and you can put more of your energy into that.

It's sometimes easier said than done but could you try to work on forgiving yourself? When a thought about your past surfaces, you could say something like "I am sorry for the past, but I am working on my future and I am forgiving myself." If you say it enough times, you may be able to drill it into your head, so to speak.

Could you talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling? Sometimes just talking to someone can do a world of good. If you can't talk to anyone or you don't trust anyone around you, maybe you can keep a journal or blog to release your thoughts in a healthy way.

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