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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Bianca_Mae Offline
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Unhappy Relapsing - July 2nd 2017, 01:18 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

10 days ago I told my mom I self harm and since then I haven't cut, but lately the need to is a lot worse. I now have a therapist, so I am getting help. But I really want to cut. Its been 12 days since the last time I made a cut, and whenever I go without cutting for a while, I start to lose my grip and have somewhat of a mental break down.

Would it be bad if I relapsed?? I really need it... But like my mom would know if I did and then I wouldn't be able to deal with it and then I would prob cut again, and to make matters worse the cuts would be shown because I have a dance intensive program all next week and nationals the week after.

Idk what to do...

Help?
-Bianca
   
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PoeticJessie Offline
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Re: Relapsing - July 2nd 2017, 02:37 AM

Hi, Bianca,

I personally think there are a few different ways you could address this. Firstly, I do want to say that while relapse is common, it is something you never want to put yourself through. The more you relapse, the harder it is to stay free afterward, and often the pain of knowing you have relapsed can push you down even further. While temptation is hard to resist, and I'm not shaming you if you do relapse - though I hope you don't -, that's the very last thing you want to do.
Is there a specific trigger that is causing you to want to self-harm? If so, addressing the specific trigger would help some. It wouldn't be that magic band-aid we all wish existed, but it would help.
If there isn't a specific trigger, I recommend any combination of these
options:
If you're close enough, talk with your mother. She may be able to help you pull through this, and at the very least, she should be able to provide support, even if it's only as an ear to listen.
You could speak with your therapist about an emergency visit within the next day or so. He or she should be able to give you some coping skills that would help.
There are hotlines you could call when you're feeling like self-harming that would have the training to possibly give you some useful coping skills in a pinch.
Try writing what you're feeling down in a journal, somewhere you'll have no reason to hold back. By focusing what you're experiencing into a journal entry, you're thinking through it a bit closer than by speaking aloud, which can help calm you as well as help you find a solution you hadn't thought of previously.
Finally, have you tried the Butterfly Project? I don't know if it's still around now, but when I was in high school, my counselor had me use that method, and it helped a lot.
I hope at least something of what I've said helps you, Bianca! Just PM me or reply on here if you need to talk or have any questions (I don't promise to have answers, but I will try.)
<3 Jess
   
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Re: Relapsing - July 2nd 2017, 07:54 AM

Hi Bianca,

I hope you are seeing a doctor, as cutting is just a symptom of a major clinical depression, which is totally treatable with the right medication, and once you find the right medication you'll feel so much better, and the urge will dissipate and simply no longer be there, and you'll get to enjoy being "normal" like every one else (since most everyone else doesn't cut and therefore doesn't understand people who do, it makes no sense to them, but it does make sense to doctors, any decent well trained doctor should know how to treat that medical condition, or at least refer you to a doctor who does.

In the mean time there are other strategies you can try which may produce the same results. You could try Ice Meditation. Place a cube of ice on your skin and watch it melt. See how long you can focus your attention on the ice, and on the sensation of the cold, the feeling, and on the present moment, and if your mind starts to wander, bring it back to the present moment. Trining the mind to focus on the present moment is like training a puppy to stay still. The puppy wanders off, you bring the puppy back. The puppy stays for about 10 seconds, the puppy wanders off. You bring the puppy back. Eventually the puppy learns.

Learning to focus the mind's attention is a very good healing skill to learn for people who have these types of mental illness problems. Keep doing it and over a period of weeks and months, it can slowly rewire your brain, unwire the bad painfulness, and wire in more tollerance, more ability to deal with life. (I'm not sure why it works, but it's been known to work for thousands of years. Recently scientists using brain scans noticed it increases activity in certain parts of the brain, with certain Latin names, and those parts control one's ability to regulate emotions, and the person becomes better able to decrease anxiety and stress, which helps switch off the Sympathetic Nervous System, and switch on the Parasympathetic Nervous System, which if I was a neuroscientist I would know what that means, but I'm not, but I'm told it basically switches the body out of "fight or flight" mode, which is bad to be in for long periods of time as it can damage your body and mind, and switches you into the "rest, digest, restore" mode, which is good, as that's where your body and mind heals itself, and good things happen.)

You can also look into Mindfulness Meditation, or the meditative motion exercises, such as Yoga, qi-gong, or tai-chi. These can be done in a group or class, which can help one get the social benefit of being together in a group.

Personally I've had best results with medication. Once I found a medication that works, it made a huge difference, and practically cured me, which was far more than I ever hoped for at the time. Now I do Meditation a lot in groups to help keep my mind tuned up.

There are also Guided Meditation apps you can download onto your cell phone. ("Headspace" is one. There are short animated videos explaining the concepts at the beginning of meditations 3,5,7, and 9.)

Best wishes. Know that there is Hope that you won't have to suffer like this forever. There are treatments out there; there are people out there who understand, who have been through it themselves, and who care about you very much.

We're here for you.
   
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Re: Relapsing - July 2nd 2017, 08:05 AM

Hey Briana, it sounds like you're doing all the right things, but that doesn't make this easy. Here is our list of alternatives that help get you through: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/

The thing about self-harm is that when you stop the urges get stronger, if you resist, they eventually decrease and go away, but if you give in, they only get worse. Relapse can be a part of recovery, but if you have the ability to realize one is coming and stop yourself, that would be healthier. Hang in there.


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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
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Re: Relapsing - July 2nd 2017, 01:12 PM

you are on the right way, just don't give up!
   
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Re: Relapsing - July 2nd 2017, 08:41 PM

Cutting is never good for you, sweetie.

If you ever need to talk, PM me.
   
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