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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Adele101 Offline
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Falling into a spiral - August 4th 2017, 09:34 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hello,
So basically at first I didn't even recognise that I was self harming because I just wasn't very informed on this whole subject area. In the beginning I used to[EDTED]. Now I just burnt myself accidentally on a hot pan- fresh off the cooker- and then wanted to do it again. I continually burnt myself [EDITED] when I was washing the dishes and by [EDITED] . It's escalating slowly and I don't know what to do. It helped especially when I was feeling angry and upset. I'm afraid that I'm going to fall into the spiral that many others have, and get addicted to harming myself. What do I do? How do I stop, because if anyone found out I would be doomed.

Last edited by Palmolive; August 7th 2017 at 05:52 PM. Reason: Removing forms of self harm :)
   
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Re: Falling into a spiral - August 4th 2017, 11:53 PM

Hey Sarah! Thanks for coming to us with this problem. As you know I am a self harmer. Worst mistake would be to keep going. Try to find alternatives and keep your nails short so you can't dig them anymore. Stay away from hot pans, dishes, and other heated objects. Try your best to stop, I know it's hard. You haven't drowned in the sea that is self harm so keep your head up, paddle along, and remember to breathe. You can do it, PM me whenever. Sending love your way!!

-Wonderlust




Life's a tough b**ch, but you are tougher. Go show it who's boss. <lots of love and hugs>
   
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Adele101 Offline
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Re: Falling into a spiral - August 5th 2017, 10:00 AM

Thank you so much Sanjana!
   
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Re: Falling into a spiral - August 5th 2017, 05:50 PM

Hey There,

I do agree that the worst thing I did was continue to go further into it. If you can stop while you're ahead, that's for real the best. Sunny, gave you a great list of alternatives to use. My counselor told me to hold an ice-cube in my hand because it causes the same sensations as self-harm without actually harming me. I think it works really great.

I think another aspect you need to look at, is why do you feel the need to self-harm? Self-harm is typically a symptom of a deeper issue. I know you said you would be doomed if anybody found out, why is that? Is counseling an option? You're 18 so you would be able to make an appointment without anyone except for you knowing and they could help you manage your emotions better!

If you want to chat feel free to send me a message. <3
   
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Re: Falling into a spiral - August 5th 2017, 06:55 PM

Thanks Cass. Your right I am old enough but my parents are very very over protective. I wouldn't get away with having counselling or therapy without their knowledge. And your right there is a deeper issue, I think I have depression but obviously I haven't been diagnosed officially. I don't self harm regularly, only when I'm feeling super helpless. But I'll think the ice cube method, hopefully it will work. Thanks for your help again.
   
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Re: Falling into a spiral - August 6th 2017, 08:24 PM

If you ever want to chat about any of this, or just in general feel free to message me! I understand how hard depression is. I used to have the same issues with my parents and counseling, so I can empathize with you! <3
   
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Re: Falling into a spiral - August 6th 2017, 11:24 PM

Talking to you has already helped. Thanks
   
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Palmolive Offline
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Re: Falling into a spiral - August 7th 2017, 06:01 PM

Hi

Thank you for posting here. I am so glad you felt able to do so and want the help because you don't ever deserve to go through this alone.

In all honestly, nipping it in the bud sooner is better than later because it can become very addictive. I have been self harming for 14 years now and even though it began as minor self harm, it let to life risking self harm and I would hate to see you go do that road.

Is there anything that is making you feel this way that you want to hurt yourself? Has something triggered it off, in the past or now? Or maybe something you are worried or concerned about in the future? If there is not anything, please know that is okay but if there is, please also know you can talk to us about it and we'll listen and try our best to help and support you through - we won't ever judge you. There is never any pressure to tell us anything you don't want to though.

Have you tried using distractions when you have urges to self harm? Things like reading, going for a walk, watching a film/tv, having a hot chocolate and snuggling in bed, meeting a friend, playing with any pets, cleaning, tidying, art work, writing, listening to music, having a bath, painting nails, going for a run, playing a game etc? There are so many distractions out there and not everything is going to help you so you have to keep try new and old things to find what helps for you but don't give up on everything when something doesn't help.

I am just wondering in what way self harm helps you? I know I do it for release most of the time when I have so much in my head or feel so low because the physical pain stops the emotional pain. I have and know others who have done it for punishment, to see blood etc. I am just wondering how it helps you and whether we can find anything similar to help you but a healthy technique and not a destructive behaviour.

Have you spoken to anyone in "real life" about this? I know talking to people can be daunting and scary but people can help you and will want too but they can only do so if they know what is going on for you. People like family members, friends, teachers, school nurses/counsllors and even your doctor or a helpline, can all be people who can help you through this. You never deserve to be alone in it and remember we're always here too.

I know it's hard now but it will get better. Nothing lasts forever and this too shall pass. Just keep fighting and never suffer in silence.

Hope and wishes,
Jessie


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Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Falling into a spiral - August 7th 2017, 06:42 PM

Thanks you've been very kind. I've tried distractions but the thing is I get very angry and often I can't take it out on the person who's angered me even if it's just by shouting at them, so self harm began to be the only way I could let out my aggression. And yeah it's basically everything building up, the pressure from my parents, feeling like a failure, my lack of freedom, struggling to figure out my own identity. It's crazy 😂😂
And I'm so sorry I forgot that having the self harm so detailed in the original post would have been triggering. I'm sorry if I trigggered anyone without meaning to.
   
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Re: Falling into a spiral - August 10th 2017, 12:33 PM

Instead of keeping your anger in, maybe you could find ways to release it that don't hurt you or the person you're angry with. You could talk to the person you're angry wth using I statements. For instance, you could say, "I feel angry when you ---." If you don't want to verbally express your anger, you can write someone a note.

You could also take a walk or exercise, scream, punch a pillow, or scribble aggressively on a piece of paper. You could rip up papers, squeeze a stress ball get lost in some of your favorite hobbies.

Working on how you release your anger could help with urges to self-harm in the long run.


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