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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Scars - September 8th 2017, 08:43 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Does anyone else here have many scars?
I have a lot on both of my thighs, and I feel like I am the only one like this. I would feel better if there are other people with scars like me, and how to deal with them. Does it affect relationships and stuff...?
Sorry if I can't ask this...


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Re: Scars - September 8th 2017, 01:25 PM

I do have a lot of scars. When I was younger, I used to cut pretty much everywhere. My legs from my ankle to my thighs are covered in scars, and they are still semi visible even though they have faded as much as they can. Most of the time, they are most visible only if you know what you're looking for. I also have scars on my ankles, shoulders, stomach, and breasts. I have scars on my thighs but the worst of them are on my hips or the sides of my stomach.

Whether or not you do things to help fade scars is a personal decision but you can try to fade them if you'd like to. For instance, you could use a scrub or an exfoliating soap, and then apply a lotion. You could try things like lemon juice, baking soda and liquid vitamin e, coconut oil, or stretch mark and scar creams.

I am not in a romantic relationship so I cannot say whether or not it impacts mine, but I assume other people struggle with it sometimes. It is definitely something that can be worked through with the right person, however. It doesn't really matter with my family or friends because I do not show them to people that know me well.

Some people are comfortable enough to show their scars. I do not show mine that often due to the location of the worst ones but I do show the faded ones on my thighs when I wear shorts. If you do feel comfortable showing your scars or if you'd like to work up to that, you can.

As for dealing with my scars, I have kind of accepted them for what they are and I see them as part of me. I try to embrace them instead of looking at them as something I'd rather change. People view their scars in a lot of different ways, and in time you will probably view them in a healthy way that works best for you.


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Re: Scars - September 8th 2017, 05:49 PM

Most of my scars are on my arms and my legs; however, I have scars pretty much everywhere except my back and my abdomen. All in all I have hundreds of scars. Over the years they have faded a bit so some of them aren't really noticeable, but some are still quite visible. I generally don't try to hide them, as it gets really hot where I live in the summer and wearing long sleeves and long pants would be a hassle. There are only a few scars on my upper left arm I get really concerned about because I've been told multiple times in treatment that the word it spells is triggering and I need to cover it up. I recently got injections from a dermatologist to make the scar less raised. It's still pretty purple and noticeable, but it looks better than it did. When it fades more I will probably tattoo over it.

Having scars has not negatively impacted my relationships. In fact, the opposite is true: my partners see my scars as beautiful. Sometimes my girlfriend will kiss my scars and it creates an interesting mix of shame/embarrassment and happiness. By kissing my scars she shows me that she accepts me, and that's a really big deal. In other words, the right person won't mind your scars.


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Re: Scars - September 9th 2017, 06:52 PM

I do have scars. I kind of feel like I got lucky with mine; because I used to wear running shorts (which are very short) every single day for practice, almost all of mine are on my upper thighs and aren't visible most of the time. They're also all at least a year old, so they've faded to white. They're definitely visible if you know what you're looking for, especially in the right lighting, but I feel comfortable wearing shorts.

For several years, though, when most of my scars were darker and sometimes in more visible places, it was hard to show them to the world. I think the best thing you can do in that situation is be, or at least appear, as confident as you can. If someone sees them but can tell that you're not worried about them being there, then they won't think too much of it, probably. Or if they say anything or stare, it's probably just out of concern for you. There was a girl on my team who had very visible scars on both arms and wore short sleeves every day to practice (which I really admired her for, because that's a difficult thing to do), and I only heard one person comment on them ever - and he was a young kid who wouldn't have known better, and didn't even know that they were SH scars.

I'm not in a relationship, but I know that my scars will come up in a relationship someday. I would like to think that the right person will be okay with them and with what they mean about me, and I've met a few people who make me believe that there are people out there who would be accepting of them. I really think it's just a matter of finding the right person.


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Re: Scars - September 10th 2017, 11:16 AM

I have surgical scars. I don't really like them but I grew to get used to them anyway.

I can only blame my younger self for being too careless when I was at the playground. These scars just remind me of how "interesting" my childhood was, I must have had so much fun to be forgetting about my own safety.
   
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Re: Scars - September 10th 2017, 03:28 PM

I have lots of scars that go from my upper thigh, down to my knee. I don't like them, and I have a hard time showing them to my family. I wear shorts around my friends, but dodge questions about them...




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Re: Scars - September 22nd 2017, 11:45 AM

I have some on my wrists. I have only told my best friend about it.
It can have an affect on your relationships, but if a person freaks out or gets mad or scared at you they ain't worth it. I know it's easy to say if you really love someone it isn't easy to just let them go over something you did maybe years ago and maybe you regret it. You just have to find someone who doesn't judge you by it and respeks that you had a hard time once and did somethings you might regret later in live. But it's a part of you and your story. Embrace it.
   
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Re: Scars - September 22nd 2017, 12:40 PM

I have a lot of scars. My arms and legs are covered in scars and are likely never going to completely fade. It is definitely discouraging to have so many scars especially since it is something that other people notice since I no longer keep my scars hidden as often.

As for your question about relationships, I think that, in some instances, it can effect relationships but I feel that if someone truly cares about another person they will not let those scars impact their decision to be in a relationship. I can say that my boyfriend doesn't mind my scars and he was not turned off by them or anything like that. He doesn't really understand my self harm but he has definitely made an effort to try and be supportive. Like Jordan said, the right person will not mind your scars. While it might be hard if you run into someone who cares the best thing to do, in that instance, is to remind yourself that that person obviously was not the right.

Best of luck.


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Re: Scars - September 22nd 2017, 01:09 PM

thank you for you're replies everyone, it is nice to know I am not alone in this. Thank you for being so lovely to me x


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