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FrozenRobot7 Offline
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First time felt good - October 10th 2017, 09:58 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have had a lot going on in my life recently and for the first real time turned to cutting. I have done somewhat self harmed before, but never cutting, and never drawing blood. But, when I saw the first droplet of blood, it was actual relief. Like, instead of telling someone whatís going on, I did this, and I felt better. It was a very bad way of coping, obviously, but it helped.

Now, itís something that I can easily see myself doing frequently, and that honestly scares me. I obviously donít want anyone to see, and now itís just one more secret I have to hold onto, which in the long term doesnít help at all. But, there was instant relief, and I donít want this to be the only way I can find relief, but it is.

What are other ways to find relief? And how do I stop myself from doing it again?
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Hanna Banana Offline
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Re: First time felt good - October 10th 2017, 10:20 PM

Well I think it is different for everyone and for each person you have to find something that really interests you that can help you release whatever needs to be released. For me once I turned away from cutting I turned to drawing and sketching and also using a journal. It just works for me to express how I am feeling in a drawing or sketch. Then I can look at what I have put on that paper and really visualize how I am feeling right in front of me. Journaling works with words as well for me somewhat when I can't come up with a sketch. Like I said it is different for everyone so really only you know those things that are stress releases for you. So think of those and when you have the urge to cut turn to one of those instead and see if that gives you any fulfillment.

"Every challenge is an opportunity to prove to the world that you are, Extraordinary."~ Lzzy Hale of Halestorm
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Re: First time felt good - October 11th 2017, 12:45 AM

Yeah, as Hannah said, it's different for everyone.
For some, it's running and feeling the adrenaline rush after a run that helps. For others, it's drawing, sketching or writing. For others, it's music, playing an instrument or being involved in a band. For others, it's having someone to talk to on a regular consistent basis about these things so they are no longer kept silent.
There are alternatives and we have a link to them which you may have seen (if not, click here]. Some of those ideas may help.
In the end though, from my experience, alternatives help but so does knowing the source of why SH is helping, what it's helping and getting through whatever that is inside and hurting.
I have gone months without cutting and even longer without cutting frequently and still, I crave it and want to cut everyday because I have not gotten to the source...I purposely avoid addressing it and so I am stuck in this battle in my mind. You don't want to get there, it eats at you and becomes a terrible cycle--at least that is how it is for me.
Not sure any of that helps but I'm here if you need someone to talk to either through VM/PM or in the chat.

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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Re: First time felt good - October 11th 2017, 01:01 AM


Thank you so much for sharing this with us, you have done a great job. I am so sorry that you are having a hard time right now and this happened. I do get what you are saying, and a lot of times when we are going though a hard time and we are upset, angry or you are feeling whatever, you do not know how to fix what you are going through and this can be a way that you do it to help with everything going on.

When you feel like you are going to cut yourself you can get a rubber band and put it around you're wrist and snap it so that you do not cut yourself. Also you can go for a walk or run, put ice in you're hand or a hot drink to help you so that you are thinking about other things and not self harm. Also you can put on music and a funny TV show to help you think about other things. Do you have any friends that you can also call when you are having a hard time too. I hope that it gets better for you too.
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