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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BoyLukeBoy Offline
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I'm a bad boy - October 12th 2017, 11:06 AM

I'm bad, i'm always letting my girlfriend down who i adore and she dumped me and i can't cope and i let my parents down a lot too and then i get grounded. So when i am bad i cut myself or burn myself. its like so i punished myself but also it makes me feel slightly better after but not for long. i don't tell anyone about it, i keep it a secret
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm a bad boy - October 12th 2017, 11:26 AM

Hey,

It must be difficult to feel like you're disappointing the people you care about. How did you let your girlfriend down? Maybe you can give things some time to cool off and then consider talking through things with her. Sometimes giving things a little bit of time can make all the difference.

Why do your parents ground you? If ther reasons are things you feel like you can work on, perhaps you can take some time to improve those things. You could also talk to your parents about how you feel if you think they're grounding you for unfair reasons.

You said you keep your self-harm a secret and that can be very painful sometimes. Is there anyone you feel like you can confide in such as your parents, a friend, or someone at school? You could call a hotline as well. If you don't feel comfortable telling someone just yet, continue to talk to us if you can or keep a journal or a blog to get your feelings out of your mind.

Do you take care of your burns? Burns can get easily infected and it's important to look after them as well as your cuts. You can clean your cuts with a mild soap and water. As for burns, maybe you can try to keep them covered during the day to prevent any germs from entering them.

Do you think you'd like to stop harming yourself? The reason for this question is that it is important to be ready and willing to stop harming yourself. You can make progress if you are not, but you may make more if you feel ready do to so. If you're ready, we could give you different suggestions and resources to use.

Regardless of whether or not you're ready, you could try using an alternative when you feel like harming yourself that way you do not go directly to harming yourself. Since you said you punish yourself for things in your life, you could punish yourself by not cutting or burning instead.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm a bad boy - October 12th 2017, 11:33 AM

Hello, and welcome to teenhelp we are so glad that you have came and enjoined this website.

I am so sorry that you are having a really hard time with this right now and I wanted to thank you for sharing this with us and I know this may not have been easy to say and you did a wonderful job telling us.

I'm sorry that you're girlfriend broke up with you and you said that you really do like her. Sometimes when we break up with people it's because we don't think that we have anything in common with them still or we are not sure what to do and we think that we may be better to not be dating anymore and it does hurt and I'm sorry that this happened to you. You can also find someone else, if you want too and you don't have to date at all if you don't want to. It's up to you.

You said that you cut yourself and burn yourself, how about the next time you feel that you are going to do this you can try some things. For example you can put a rubber band around you're wrist and every time you feel the urge to do this you can snap the rubber band so many times to get you're mind off of this. Also you can go for a walk or put on some music or put on the funny TV show or movie to help pick you up. Do you like writing or drawing? If you like either of them you can also do those to also help take you're mind off of this as well.

I know that you said that you didn't tell anybody and it's a secret and I am very happy that you came and found this website and told us about this. Please don't be too hard on yourself and when you do this just try and do something that you enjoy and get you're mind and yourself being alright.

When you are not sure what to do, you can always come on and post more and ask for help. I hope you will be ok soon.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm a bad boy - October 12th 2017, 12:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassado View Post
Hey,

It must be difficult to feel like you're disappointing the people you care about. How did you let your girlfriend down? Maybe you can give things some time to cool off and then consider talking through things with her. Sometimes giving things a little bit of time can make all the difference.

Why do your parents ground you? If ther reasons are things you feel like you can work on, perhaps you can take some time to improve those things. You could also talk to your parents about how you feel if you think they're grounding you for unfair reasons.

You said you keep your self-harm a secret and that can be very painful sometimes. Is there anyone you feel like you can confide in such as your parents, a friend, or someone at school? You could call a hotline as well. If you don't feel comfortable telling someone just yet, continue to talk to us if you can or keep a journal or a blog to get your feelings out of your mind.

Do you take care of your burns? Burns can get easily infected and it's important to look after them as well as your cuts. You can clean your cuts with a mild soap and water. As for burns, maybe you can try to keep them covered during the day to prevent any germs from entering them.

Do you think you'd like to stop harming yourself? The reason for this question is that it is important to be ready and willing to stop harming yourself. You can make progress if you are not, but you may make more if you feel ready do to so. If you're ready, we could give you different suggestions and resources to use.

Regardless of whether or not you're ready, you could try using an alternative when you feel like harming yourself that way you do not go directly to harming yourself. Since you said you punish yourself for things in your life, you could punish yourself by not cutting or burning instead.
Thanks a lot for the post!

let my girlfriend down loads but most recently she thinks i cheated on her because of lies someone told to her and i never did that but she refuses to believe me and i am sorry that she is hurting and that she thinks i did it, i wish i could prove i never cheated.

They ground me if i am being bad in school or bad grades or if i am disrespectful to them. they usually ground me for a week or two weeks but sometimes its 1 month. My dad sometimes goes easy on me but my mom is harsh and always she gives me harsher punishments. I guess cos i am bad at school sometimes and disrespectful sometimes i do deserve to be grounded.

I think if i told my parents about it they would be mad at me and ground me for a long time. I think my friends would laugh at me. I feel ashamed to admit to people what i do.

I do clean the burns and cover them. Sometimes they get infected and i keep washing it and put some cream on them.

i think yes i'd like to stop but i don't know when i will stop or if i can stop. Sometimes i try to stop and i still do it again. Also i am not the brightest boy, i am a bit dumb and so i do dumb things.
   
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Re: I'm a bad boy - October 12th 2017, 12:19 PM

Hi! and welcome to teenhelp.

It must have been onerous to deal with this. It must have been difficult to deal with your girlfriend breaking up with you. Instead of cutting yourself or burning yourself ( which are both dangerous ) why don't you try focusing your sadness in a more healthy and safe way? Like writing down whats going on? or talking with a school conselor?
Im glad if this helped you in any sort of way. I dont know much but what I can at least do is just give my best advice.
Stay safe~ Kitty


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm a bad boy - October 12th 2017, 12:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Golfing girl View Post
Hello, and welcome to teenhelp we are so glad that you have came and enjoined this website.

I am so sorry that you are having a really hard time with this right now and I wanted to thank you for sharing this with us and I know this may not have been easy to say and you did a wonderful job telling us.

I'm sorry that you're girlfriend broke up with you and you said that you really do like her. Sometimes when we break up with people it's because we don't think that we have anything in common with them still or we are not sure what to do and we think that we may be better to not be dating anymore and it does hurt and I'm sorry that this happened to you. You can also find someone else, if you want too and you don't have to date at all if you don't want to. It's up to you.

You said that you cut yourself and burn yourself, how about the next time you feel that you are going to do this you can try some things. For example you can put a rubber band around you're wrist and every time you feel the urge to do this you can snap the rubber band so many times to get you're mind off of this. Also you can go for a walk or put on some music or put on the funny TV show or movie to help pick you up. Do you like writing or drawing? If you like either of them you can also do those to also help take you're mind off of this as well.

I know that you said that you didn't tell anybody and it's a secret and I am very happy that you came and found this website and told us about this. Please don't be too hard on yourself and when you do this just try and do something that you enjoy and get you're mind and yourself being alright.

When you are not sure what to do, you can always come on and post more and ask for help. I hope you will be ok soon.
Thanks a lot for your post!

I really want my girlfriend to take me back because i love her a lot and don't want to be with any other girls ever. I want to stay with her and be a good boyfriend and maybe husband.

Thanks for advice about how other ways to hurt myself, i never thought of it. i don't like drawing or writing and attention span too short for movies, i am bored and distracted 20 minutes into a movie all i like is listen to music and play on the playstation but my parents do ban it when i am grounded.

today two really nice posts, thank you and i feel welcome here already!
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
cynefin Offline
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Re: I'm a bad boy - October 13th 2017, 12:30 PM

Even though you didn't cheat on your girlfriend the fact that someone told those lies to her and got those ideas in her head is probably hard for her. You said she doesn't believe you and there isn't anything you can do if she doesn't believe you. You can give her some time to think things over and perhaps she'll draw different conclusions. But, one way to look at it is that if it doesn't work out between the two of you it wasn't meant to be. That can be difficult to see but think of it as opening a door to new opportunities in the future in the relationship arena.

What areas of school do you struggle in? Maybe you can ask your teachers for extra help or utilize any resources they may give you. Some teachers let students come into school before, during, or after classes for extra help. Perhaps you can try to release your feelings in a healthy way so you don't become disrespectful to your parents.

If you don't want to tell your parents or your friends about your self-harm that's okay. You might be ready to tell them in time. Something to consider, though, is that you likely wouldn't feel shame if your broke your leg or got sick with the flu, so you don't have to feel ashamed for struggling emotionally.

If you'd like to stop consider finding some alternatives that work for you. For instance, you can take a walk, write about your feelings, watch TV, or read a book.

We are here for you.


Articles & Resources Officer|Lead Moderator|Senior Newsletter Editor
The mountains are calling and I must go.
1941-2016

Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
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