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MidnightAngst Offline
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I really need someone's opinion! - November 5th 2017, 03:36 PM

Around four years ago I struggled a lot with self harm, and I trusted my best friend with my secret. During this time she encouraged me to confide in a teacher about my problem. However after I did this she started talking to me less and less, until we never really spoke again. Besides the few times we would see each other in the school hallways and she would just pretend nothing happened.
To add to this issue, another teacher in my school also found out I self harmed, as I wasn't careful enough in gym class. Since then he has confronted my friend about it, and I have no idea what she told him but he somehow got the idea that I was schizophrenic?....(I am not) This lead to the guidence councillor taking me out of his class and asking me if I was hearing voices and so on (which might I add was extremely uncomfortable to sit through) and even after three years that I have stopped self harming he still looks at me strangely and treats me differently.
I guess the whole idea of this post is that I don't exactly know what to feel, should I be mad? Upset? I don't know. However I am certain that I feel a lot of regret, as maybe I pushed all of my problems onto my friend which led her to cut ties with me? And if I didn't start self harming in the first place none of this would've happened. I just really want some sort of solution that would put my mind at rest so everything wouldn't be so awkward between my friend and my teacher. However I'm struggling to see how this is possible because I can't just randomly bring up something from years ago when my old friend has a new life and friends. Anyway I'm really sorry for the long paragraph and I would really like to hear someone's else's opinion on all of this. Thank you.
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Re: I really need someone's opinion! - November 6th 2017, 03:12 AM

Hello and welcome to teenhelp we are so glad that you have joined and we're able to say what is going on with you. Great job.

You said that you told you're best friend about this and that is wonderful to do. Some people don't do this, great job. I'm sorry you're friend has been distant now and that's hard to deal with. I hope it gets better between the two of you.

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time right now and you are really hurting a lot. And please don't be too hard on yourself right now. You are going to be ok soon. I know that you can't see it right know but soon you will be. When you tell a teacher about a problem that you are having at school, and you ask them to keep it between the two of you, if you are hurting yourself or you are going to hurt other people they are going to have to tell someone else to do everything that they can to help you out no matter what or if someone's hurting you. They have a responsibility to keep the students safe. And I know that you are upset at you're teacher right now that you confide in, but the truth is it's to keep you safe no matter what. Please try not to be upset or hurt by this, they are doing this to help you be okay. And I know this is not what you want to hear. You have people looking out for you and that's a good thing to have. A lot of students don't have parents looking out for them and it's really good that the teachers and counselors are looking out for them to protect them when they are hurting themselves or going through something like this.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time with you're friends, can you try and talk with them and work out what is going on. All friends fight over things, and I hope that you can work it out and be ok.

When you get the feeling to self harm can you try going for a walk and if you would like to have music with you, go ahead and do that to help you to get you're mind off of this feeling. Or put music on in you're room. Also put on a funny movie or TV show or you can punch a pillow so that you are thinking and doing other things and not thinking about self harming.
I really hope you will be ok soon, and you are always welcome to post more when you need to. Lots of Hugs.
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Re: I really need someone's opinion! - November 6th 2017, 12:04 PM

It must be really difficult to have both your friend and your teacher treat you so differently after this situation. You said you wanted some opinions as to what to do. It seems like closure of some sort may benefit you and that is something worth trying.

Have you thought about how you’d go about this? Perhaps you could confront your teacher and bring a note with you for him to read or for you to go off of if you need a reminder of what to say. You can let him know that you feel upset because he’s been treating you differently ever since this incident and you’re looking for closure.

As for your old friend, maybe you can confront her and ask her if the two of you can set aside a time and place to talk privately about something. You can write a note or use bullet points again, as well.

It doesn’t sound like you put too much on your friend, but it sounds as if she wasn’t sure how to cope with your self-harm and became distant as a result.

What you decide to do is ultimately up to you but remember to put yourself and your health first!

Feel free to keep us updated.

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