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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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GalaxyCat 284 Offline
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Unhappy I need help... - November 7th 2017, 10:59 AM

Hey guys, can anyone help me or give me advice on how to stop hurting myself?? I've been depressed ever since my grandmother died, and in the past few days its been so bad that I have started to cut myself with [edited] and an [edited]. I haven't cut my wrists because my parents would see it, but I have an inch-long cut on my belly... The reason I do it is basically this: if I am in pain physically, it helps to distracts me from what's going on inside my head... Does anyone know what I can do to stop the need to escape from myself by distracting myself with pain? Can anyone suggest an alternative? I've gone bike riding and taken long walks, but I just ended up purposely crashing into a tree when I went bike riding, and throwing rocks at everything when I go on walks... I love horse riding and archery, but the lessons are like $50 each so I can't afford it, and last time I was out painting, I ended up punching a hole in my canvas. Nothing seems to distract me excepted physical pain, and I need to stop hurting myself. What do I do?

Last edited by cynefin; November 7th 2017 at 12:14 PM. Reason: Removing self-harm tools.
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Re: I need help... - November 7th 2017, 12:21 PM

Hi there,

It seems like you’ve tried a lot of alternatives to self-harm and that is definitely a step in the right direction! Something to bear in mind is that not all alternatives work for everyone; different ones work for different people and finding ones that work for you can be some trial and error.

Something to think about is that you’ve found ways to harm yourself even through your alternatives and this may point to some strong underlying feelings. Maybe you could cope with your feelings and then find self-harm alternatives. For instance, you said you feel sad. Do you let yourself cry? Do you have ways of coping with your sadness that don’t involve hurting yourself? Taking a long walk and throwing rocks at things isn’t necessarily harmful. Perhaps it helps you release some anger about how you’re feeling.

You said you like horseback riding but can’t afford lessons/ What if you did something else related to it? You could write a story about it, or print out some pictures and make a collage with that artsy side of yourself. That way you’re still doing something you really like even though you can’t afford the lessons.

If you want to, you can also try sensations that are not self-harm. For example, you could take a warm or cool shower, or hold an ice cube in your hands. You could use a menthol product for the sensation on your skin or you could try a cold pack or a heating pad.

Keep trying to cope with your feelings. Here if you need anything.

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Re: I need help... - November 7th 2017, 02:29 PM

Its wonderful that you told us at teenhelp here,your issue.
I agree with Cassado, You should try crying, crying usually releases stress and pain and anger, ( Trust me whenever I am in stress or depressed I cry )

Instead Of Self Harming have you tried talking to anyone?
Maybe a school conselor? ( If you are in school ) a friend, or anyone you trust to tell them? Telling someone about your grief can help alot. Also have you tried writing down your grief like a diary or a journal? Writing Can help to relieve stress and depression and it can help distract you from self-harming.

Im Glad if this advice helps in any way. Dont hesitate to hit me up if you have any questions or concerns. Im here for support. Best of luck

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Re: I need help... - November 7th 2017, 03:14 PM

Hello, I am so sorry that you are going through a hard time right. We are so glad that you we're about to come and tell us about this. Great job.

You said you are self harming and you are having a hard time with this. Can you try going for walks, to take you're mind off of this and you can have music with you also. Or you can have music at you're house in you're room. Also you can try drawing or writing, and put on funny TV shows or movies to take you're mind off of this. You can try hitting a pillow, or holding onto a ice cube or a hot or cold drink in you're hands. The idea is to get you to get you're mind off of this feeling that you are having and doing something else to help you be ok for awhile. I know it's hard but just keep trying different things to help you. Can you try talking with you're school counselor and letting them know about this and that you're having a hard time and you need someone to talk to and some advice.

I know when you really enjoy doing something and it's hard to do it because it's hard to pay for it. Do you have any relatives or grandparents that can help pay for you to go horseback riding even if it's just one time a week? And if they say that they are not sure you can say that you will help cut grass or you can help to do laundry or chores around the house, things like this to help pay for the horseback riding.
I wish you the best and I hope you will be ok soon. Take care.
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Re: I need help... - November 8th 2017, 07:58 AM

Thanks for replying, and sorry for not getting back to you sooner... I will try some of the things you suggested, but what Golfing girl suggested about asking for money from relatives and doing stuff in return wouldn't work because my closest relatives live about 9 hours away from me... Also, I do cry a lot to try to let my feelings out, but only when I'm alone... If I told my friends that I feel depressed, they wouldn't take me seriously, because they're always happy and cheerful, and I appear to be like them... When I'm at school, the best thing to describe what I feel like is this quote:
"Sick of crying, tired of trying, yeah I'm smiling, but inside I'm dying."
I'll try the ice cube thing next time I need a distraction... Thanks for the suggestion...
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Re: I need help... - November 9th 2017, 05:13 AM

Hey there,

Depending on the relationship that you have with your parents, it might be best to talk to them about how you are feeling. If you do not feel comfortable talking to them about the self harm, quite yet, you do not have to. However, if you talk to your parents they might be able to work on getting you counseling.

Something that might help is grief counseling. There are actually places that will counsel someone who is dealing with grief for free. I do some volunteer work with a home health and hospice and they provide free bereavement counseling to people. If a lot of the feelings of sadness are correlated to losing your grandma then it might help to go to counseling and process it.

Another thing you could consider doing is talking to a school psychologist/social worker. If your school offers this, they can be helpful and they can, sometimes, help you in regards to discussing things like this with your parents.

Best of luck.

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Re: I need help... - November 16th 2017, 11:49 AM

Start taking life positively, take help of physic reader to help you show the path.
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