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GalaxyCat 284 Offline
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Unhappy Problems with my dad... - November 10th 2017, 08:25 PM

Hi everyone, I've been having problems with my dad lately, and I think that he's part of the reason I've been cutting. My dad is always angry about something, and seems to be able to relate it to me, even if it's the smallest little thing, and then blames me for it. He always at s puts pressure on me to do really well at school because for some reason, 4 A's and 4 B's isn't good enough for him. I am also doing a 2nd grade trumpet exam in a little over a week, and I have got all the scales and solos that I have to play perfect, but every spare second I have he's telling me to go practice, and he doesn't know that I have depression because it was my mum who walked in on me cutting myself. My parents aren't divorced, but it just keeps getting worse. I'm not going to tell my dad how he makes me feel because he has the emotional range of a teaspoon... What I came here to say otiginally was what happened last night... There's this movie I've been wanting to watch, and my sister finally found it on DVD, so an bought it to have a movie night along with snacks and treats. I had said that I felt a bit tired earlier through the day, so guess what? Early night! Go to bed! Your sisters can still watch it in the room right next to yours because I don't have the decency to give up my TV for some little piece of crap like you! (That's not what he really said, but I can almost guarantee that that's what he was thinking... ) So basically I went to bed fuming at him, and as usual, I couldn't sleep (can anyone sleep when they're angry?) and I could not calm down at all, and I was literally using all my willpower to not punch a hole in the wall, and so I started cutting myself and, as I thought it would, it helped me calm down and I finally got to sleep. Now I'm just worried that my parents will see the little cuts on my wrist... I'm asking for help with what I can do when I feel that way, and also for help with my dad... is there anything to do when he goes off at me for nearly no reason? Any help is greatly appreciated...
   
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Re: Problems with my dad... - November 11th 2017, 12:36 PM

Hey,

Thank you for sharing this with us. Sometimes sharing things can do a world of good. It is positive that you’re able to recognize that your issues with your dad may be triggering you to self-harm because then you can begin to work on them and hopefully decrease your urges to self-harm.

You said you don’t want to tell him about how you feel but maybe when you notice he gets a little angry, you could say something like, “I noticed you seem angry, Dad. Maybe we can continue this conversation when you’ve cooled down a little bit.” Or you can leave the room and let him know it is because you feel like taking a step back for a while.

How is your relationship with your mom? You said she knows you’re depressed and struggling. Would you feel comfortable talking to her about the issues you’re having with your dad? Maybe you can let her know that you feel bad sometimes due to the things your dad says and you’d like some suggestions. She might have some ways you can cope with what your dad says, or she may be able to speak to him herself.

Keep trying to find ways to release your feelings that are not harmful. For instance, next time you’re angry you could punch a pillow, rip up some paper, or scribble on paper in different colors as hard as you can. Anger can be a very tough feeling to work through but you can do it.


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Re: Problems with my dad... - November 12th 2017, 12:36 AM

Hello,
I am sorry that you are having a hard time. When a member of the family is always upset or angry it's hard to find a time to talk with them about this and try to talk out what is going on. I agree with up above, when you're dad is calm or in a okay mood try and see if you are able to talk with him about what's going on. Also you can write a letter to him and say how you feel and how you are going through a hard time and ask him if you both can sit down and talk calmly together. Are you able to talk to you're mom? Can you try talking with you're siblings or you're friends at school and telling them about this. It's always good to try and talk about what's going on so that others can try to help you. Also you can try talking to you're school counselor and letting them know what's going on and that you need help and want to talk about this. They are licensed in different areas and they want to help out the students.
When you feel that you are going to self harm, try going for a walk or put on music or a funny movie or TV show to make you laugh to get you're mind off of this.
I hope that you will be ok soon. Hugs.
   
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