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TH Anonymous Offline
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Broken - December 11th 2017, 12:50 AM

[SIZE="a"]I hurt someone I cared for today. I ended a relationship with them. They are destroyed and I am not doing much better.

I am fighting the urge to cut. I have the tools...or I think I do.

I just...I have some stuff I have to do in the next few weeks and if I cut ... and get hospitalized I could miss those things. I can't take that risk because of the fact that those things could land me a job.

I want to take away their pain. I want to cut myself and hurt myself like I deserve.

I tried to make things work. I tried to be the person they wanted me to be but I sacrificed myself.

It wasn't a lack of love...not really...I loved them a ton...it was the simple fact that love isn't always what one needs.

If I cut myself. If I make myself bleed my heart won't be so hurt. I know I am coming off as cold. I know that they aren't going to understand. I just want to make this heart break stop. Even though I walked away .... It is still hurting me. I still feel so broken. So, I can only imagine how much worse he is feeling.[/size]
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Golfing girl Offline
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Re: Broken - December 11th 2017, 11:09 PM

Hello, I am so sorry that you are having a hard time and it's really good that you we're able to come on and tell us about this. Great job.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. When you try to fix something because someone said that it's wrong or you try to change it's hard to do by yourself because you may not know how to find a way to fix this or change what is going on. And I'm sorry that happened. Try to force on something else so that you are not goingto self harm. Going for a walk or putting on music or a funny movie and try to get out of the house if you can to also help you. Try to find things to get you're mind off of this until you feel ok or a little bit better.
Also can you try talking to you're school counselor and letting them know that you are having a hard time. And see if they can help you with this. I hope you will be ok soon. Hugs.
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cynefin Offline

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Re: Broken - December 12th 2017, 12:47 AM

You said that love isn't always what one needs and even though it's hard to see it right now, cutting isn't what you need either. It may provide temporary relief but it won't provide permanent relief; things will still follow you.

It seems like you did what was best for yourself in the way you handled things even if the both of you are feeling hurt. Hopefully that hurt will fade in time. You can only go up from here.

Can you find other ways to make the hurt you're feeling decrease? Maybe you can nurture yourself by utilizing self care techniques.

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