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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Emmylou Offline
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Should I tell my counsellor that I'm self harming? - December 11th 2017, 07:52 PM

Recently I've been scratching my arms/hands/thighs/stomach with a [edited] - I know it's not a particularly serious type of self harm but im scared of it escalating further than it already has (last year I used to just pinch myself or snap a hair bobble against my wrist).

I'm in counselling because of stress and anxiety that has resulted in physical joint pain but I'm contemplating mentioning the self harm even just to relieve myself of some of the burden I'm carrying about it. I'm so ashamed of myself after every time I do it and I hate myself so much when I see the cuts and scars I've left.

But I'm really hesitant to tell someone though cause I'm so embaressed and feel so stupid - I don't want a fuss and attention is the last thing on my mind. I'm also terrified of my parents finding out - Do you think the school counsellor would be able to keep it a secret? It's making me feel really panicky and stressed cause I dont know whether to tell or not and I'm so scared of someone noticing.

Last edited by cynefin; December 13th 2017 at 01:53 PM. Reason: Removing self-harm method.
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Re: Should I tell my counsellor that I'm self harming? - December 11th 2017, 10:27 PM

I know it's scary, but you should definitely tell your counselor about it. Counselors deal with this more often than you think and they will handle it professionally. They might have to tell your parents, but unless you are a severe risk to yourself, I don't think they have to.

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Re: Should I tell my counsellor that I'm self harming? - December 12th 2017, 12:43 AM

Definitely tell your counselor about it if you feel able to. If you're worried about whether or not they have to tell your parents you can ask about their confidentiality policies so you can get some clarification on what might happen.

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Re: Should I tell my counsellor that I'm self harming? - December 12th 2017, 12:49 AM

I know you feel embarrassed but even just thinking about telling your councilor is a big step. I would defiantly tell them, so they can help you. I don't know where you live but where I live which is California schools are required to tell your parents if they suspect or know you are hurting yourself, it doesn't matter if you aren't a huge risk they still have to. But I wouldn't let that stop you from talking to them.

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Re: Should I tell my counsellor that I'm self harming? - December 14th 2017, 06:29 PM

A school counselor and a regular counselor are very different.
Depending on where you live (I live in Ohio) a school counselor by law has too tell your parents if you are even thinking about hurting yourself, despite the risk.

A regular counselor typically doesn't have to report to your parents unless you are a serious danger to yourself.

Either way I think that it's important to talk to them. You aren't bothering or seeking attention. You are important and any problem you have big or small is important too. And if you want to discuss it in a safe place you should do so.

How do you think your parents would react if they found out?
Is seeing a regular counselor outside of school a possibility?

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