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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Emmylou Offline
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Who can i confide in about my self harm? - January 21st 2018, 01:11 AM

I really need to talk about it but I'm not sure who to tell.

My mum found out a couple of weeks ago when she saw my scars by accident but I feel like I want to talk about it with someone now. Because she found out, the issue of my self harm seems actually real - before it had just been in my head and a secret. Now that's its real I realise it's a problem and I want to talk to someone and sort it out.

One of my options is the counsellor I see in school because of some other things. It's been on the tip of my tongue to tell her during the last few sessions but I just cant bring myself too! I'm so ashamed for self harming and i can't get the words out to tell her. One of the reasons for not saying was that I scared of my parents finding out but now that they know maybe I should tell the counsellor.

Another option is that a girl from church has asked if I'd like to go for coffee with her this week. She's 4 or 5 years older than me and we're quite friendly. She's a youth leader at my church and I've told her about some of the other stuff that I'm seeing the counsellor for (it's because of this that we're going for coffee). She's been a great help and support to me already with everything else. I was thinking that maybe I could confide in her because I trust her and also since she's quite close but more distant from me than friends or family.

So should I tell the counsellor or my friend or both or neither?!
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Re: Who can i confide in about my self harm? - January 21st 2018, 07:21 AM

I think you can tell either. I know that I already gave you some advice on the counsellor on the other thread so I would just like to reiterate that it is likely that you counselor has had training in this type of subject, so they will probably be able to be really helpful in giving you ways to deal with or solve triggers, as well as giving you alternatives. You also have already been talking to them about other things, so it seems to me as if this will help you expand on everything and get the most out of your sessions. They definitely seem to be someone you can trust.

Your friend also seems like a very good idea because they already know a bit about some of the things that are going on in your life. They seem to care a lot and genuinely be concerned for your happiness and health, and also just want to be there for you as a friend. She may not be able to help in the same way a counselor does, but she can still be someone you turn to and confide in when you need someone to talk to, so it may be a good idea.

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Re: Who can i confide in about my self harm? - January 21st 2018, 03:06 PM

Like it was already said I think you could tell both your counselor and your friend or either. Your counselor may be able to help you look into coping skills and she's trained in this; counseling is definitely a safe place to share this.

You said you can't bring yourself to tell your counselor. Maybe you could write her a letter or tell her there's something you want to talk about but you need help expressing it? That way, she can kind of hold you accountable.

It sounds like your friend has been a great support already so telling her could definitely open up another support and you deserve as much support as you can get!

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