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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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I fucking did it again - February 22nd 2018, 05:33 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My boyfriend and I had a major blow out, we fought for two days straight, and today I found out my friend just committed suicide. I just couldnt take it, so i cut my wrist.

I honestly regret it so much, i had gone almost a year without cutting and now my boyfriend is extremely upset with me. we resolved what we were fighting about, but now hes upset about this. Im upset too. I dont really understand fully what drove me to do it. I suppose I just felt justified. I had my one year anniversary of dying and being revived from a suicide attempt on saturday, and I had a horrible day that day. School is stressful for me, my boyfriend and I fought, my friend died... I just feel so overwhelmed.

any advice as far as stress relief, so that I can avoid this problem in the future?



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Re: I fucking did it again - February 22nd 2018, 11:49 AM

Sorry to hear that you self-harmed. You were going through some really difficult things that must have been incredibly triggering, though. Do you have any favorite or go-to alternatives that usually work for you? Maybe you can go back to them or look for new ones.

In terms of stress relief, maybe you could try something physical to help you right in that triggering moment. For instance, you can take a walk or a run, punch a pillow, squeeze a stress ball, or take a shower.

Something else you may want to think about is what you're looking for when you self-harm (beyond stress relief). For example, do you look for the feeling of release, the blood, or something else? That can help you find more alternatives. Speaking of alternatives, there's an alternatives button on the top right of your page; check it out if you get the chance.

You said your boyfriend is upset. Maybe you can talk to him and explain how you're feeling. You could write a letter or explain what you talked about to us here to see if that helps.

Keep going, you can do it!


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Re: I fucking did it again - February 22nd 2018, 02:53 PM

Hello emily.

I truly think that if your boyfriend is nice and understanding, he should be warmer and less angry with you because of your circumstances. I mean, You just lost your friend and .. the emptiness is there in plain sight.. it's palpable.

Perhaps you should talk to him and explain how you're feeling, and how you couldn't deal with things. If he's nice.. then.. he'll be forgiving and kind. I mean.. you're already feeling down.What's the point of making you feel worse ? I don't understand that.

As for stress relief, I see that you're really, really into cats. So..perhaps you might wanna take up a side mission of rescuing strays. That way, you'll get to relax because well, cats are cute, and you'redoing something good. But aim for the safe shelters that don't put em to sleep, though.

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Re: I fucking did it again - February 22nd 2018, 05:30 PM

Hey there,

It is not uncommon for stress to lead to a person relapsing with self harm. I had a relapse back in 2015 and stressful event going on at the time is what led to it.

I think one of the things that can help is identifying and acknowledging the stress and than find someone to talk to about it. If you and your boyfriend are fighting and you get stressed talk to someone about it so that it doesn't build up. When the stress builds it is likely to cause more of an urge.

I think that it is important for you to not beat yourself up over this relapse. If you do so, it can make getting back into recovery more difficult. Instead of focusing on the fact that you relapses focus on figuring out if you want to get back into recovery and what you need to try and get through recovery.

As for coping skills for stress relief, that is going to be dependent on what works best for you. For me, reading, watching movies, taking a shower, going window shopping and writing about my stress help a lot. You could try those things if you'd like but it is likely that they will not all work. This might be worth checking out to help you see some of the things you can try and do to cope with the urges and the stress.

Best regards.


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