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Bianca_Mae Offline
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How do I know I wont relapse? - April 1st 2018, 11:03 PM

I'm currently at almost 9 moths clean and as a reward when I make it to a year I'm going to get a tattoo to cover the scars. But how do I know that I wont relapse after I get the tattoo?

I'm sixteen and going to college in a year and a half and that means I will have no parental supervision and nothing holding me back from relapsing...
   
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Re: How do I know I wont relapse? - April 1st 2018, 11:47 PM

Hey there, 9 months is amazing! The short answer is that you don't know that you won't relapse, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't get a tattoo to symbolize the one year accomplishment. You can use coping techniques to keep yourself from doing anything, and any college you go to will have free or reduced cost counseling available that you can take advantage of if you're worried about college or a lack of supervision triggering you once you leave.


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Re: How do I know I wont relapse? - April 2nd 2018, 04:46 AM

Hey,
Congrats on the 9 months. You honestly don't know if you will relapse or not. When I was 18 I was 3 years cut free and got a tattoo that said recovery. But then a year later I relapsed. I look at that tattoo as a reminder of the three years I was cut free. I got a semi colon when hit 6 months cut free this year and will get another next month for a year being cut free. I have no clue if I will relapse or not but I feel it is important to reward myself with something I want for the big accomplishment.

But one thing I will say if you have the mind set of you know you are going to relapse when you go to college then you will relapse. You need to think positive.

As for not being supervised you just have to be accountable for yourself. HERE is a link to alternatives that you can use to stop yourself if you have urges.

Just keep an open mind set. And know if you do relapse then it is okay. Everyone relapses and it is okay it's all part of recovery. If you ever need to talk, you can always talk to me. You can PM/VM me anytime

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Re: How do I know I wont relapse? - April 2nd 2018, 07:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bianca_Mae View Post
I'm currently at almost 9 moths clean and as a reward when I make it to a year I'm going to get a tattoo to cover the scars. But how do I know that I wont relapse after I get the tattoo?
The thing is, even if you do relapse, that doesn't take away from the achievement of making it this far without hurting yourself. You can't guarantee with 100% certainty that you won't relapse after getting the tattoo, but that absolutely doesn't mean that you shouldn't celebrate making it this far. You could also use the tattoo as motivation to stay clean, for example by promising that you'll get another tattoo when you reach a new milestone, or by looking at this tattoo when you feel tempted and remembering how far you've come.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bianca_Mae View Post
I'm sixteen and going to college in a year and a half and that means I will have no parental supervision and nothing holding me back from relapsing...
I think it might be helpful to use the next year and a half to build up a solid enough repertoire of coping mechanisms and alternatives to allow you a sort of safety net when you do start college. If the fact that you have parental supervision at the moment is stopping you from hurting yourself, then now is a great time to start figuring out how you can continue to keep yourself safe. Try different ways to express and accept your feelings, find distractions that work in the heat of the moment, make a recovery box/happy box to take with you. That way when you do start college, you'll already have ways to feel better without hurting yourself, rather than having to start from scratch when you get there.


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Re: How do I know I wont relapse? - April 5th 2018, 02:30 AM

I agree with everything that has been said.

Recovery is difficult because you don't know if you will relapse. For example, I was self harm free for two and a half years and then I relapsed. That relapse taught me a lot and I was able to recover. Relapses can actually teach you more about why you self harm. For the longest time I didn't realize what my triggers were and then I started identifying them and when I was in recovery I learned even more.

I know my biggest triggers are stress and anger because I have never been able to express my anger and stress is overwhelming. Knowing that helped me find things to help.

If you relapse don't beat yourself up or think that you haven't achieved anything. I am still proud of myself for the two years and I am getting close to that again. I think that if you happen to relapse the key is to not get mad at yourself because that can lead to self hatred and that can lead to more self harm.

It's amazing you've gone nine months and I am sure it hasn't been easy try and be proud of yourself for the achievements you have made.

You can also look at Alternatives and Coping Methods. There is also a new alternatives generator that you can try out too. Everyone has different things that help them cope with the urges and the more tools you have to cope the better.

I know it's scary thinking about relapse but try and think more about your achievements. It's hard but your achievements are so great and it might be less stressful to think about them instead of the possibility of relapse.

Best regards and if you need anything feel free to message me.


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