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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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How to tell? - June 1st 2018, 09:01 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hi everyone.

So I may not get any replies before it's time to talk about it but I thought I'd try anyway. I self-harmed rather badly today and I think I need medical attention. This would mean my girlfriend needs to take me to the hospital when she gets home. However, I don't know how to talk to her about it. She thinks my day has been fine. In addition, I want to do stuff like eat before going but I don't know if she'll be game for that if I tell her immediately (last time I SHed like this I needed surgery and they couldn't do it until the next day because I had food in my stomach, so my girlfriend might not want to have that problem again). Also, how do I do it gently? Usually whenever I tell people I dissociate a bit and feel distant from their ensuing emotions, which makes me feel like an ass but it's just what my body does. How can I tell her and stay connected?

All help is appreciate, the sooner the better. Thank you.


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Re: How to tell? - June 2nd 2018, 05:12 AM

Hi,

I am assuming that this already happened, so sorry that you didn't get a response beforehand!

Maybe if this happens again, once she gets settled in you can ask her to sit down with you (on the couch, etc) and let her know that you had a bit of a rough day and things got overwhelming so you ended up self harming. You can say that you're sorry for not telling her sooner but you didn't want to worry her while she was out (if that is true). Then you can explain that you think you need medical attention for the wound and that you'd like her to take you and support you. She seems to already know about your self harm which is at least a start, so if you think it would be helpful for both of you, maybe explain the feelings behind what triggered you this time?

I am not sure for the dissociation bit so maybe someone can add more on that part.


   
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Re: How to tell? - June 3rd 2018, 10:39 AM

Hey Jordan,

How are things now? I know we've been talking a bit so I don't have a ton to add. I do hope that you and your girlfriend can work out a way for you to tell her about yourself harm without feeling guilty about doing so. I know that you worry about hurting people and having people worry about you but that worry does show that they care. We had a decent conversation and I think that it might help if you told your girlfriend someone of the things you've told me. That might take some burden off of telling her because you will know that you were able to communicate how certain things affect you and what stops you from being open right away. I am guessing that if she knew about those concerns she'd tell you that she'd rather know right away so she can help get you proper help.

I know communication is hard for you and I can kind of understand why but maybe this is a conversation you two could have in a family session. There would be a therapist who could mediate and help you both get out everything that you need.

I am here and always available. You are strong, brave and you deserve kindness,


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