Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Heathen Offline
Beauty and Bedlam
Jeez, get a life!
Heathen's Avatar
Name: Jordan
Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,475
Blog Entries: 639
Join Date: January 6th 2009

How to tell? - June 1st 2018, 10:01 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hi everyone.

So I may not get any replies before it's time to talk about it but I thought I'd try anyway. I self-harmed rather badly today and I think I need medical attention. This would mean my girlfriend needs to take me to the hospital when she gets home. However, I don't know how to talk to her about it. She thinks my day has been fine. In addition, I want to do stuff like eat before going but I don't know if she'll be game for that if I tell her immediately (last time I SHed like this I needed surgery and they couldn't do it until the next day because I had food in my stomach, so my girlfriend might not want to have that problem again). Also, how do I do it gently? Usually whenever I tell people I dissociate a bit and feel distant from their ensuing emotions, which makes me feel like an ass but it's just what my body does. How can I tell her and stay connected?

All help is appreciate, the sooner the better. Thank you.

The moon asked the crow
For a little show
In the hazy milk of twilight
No one had to know
The moon asked the crow...
  Send a message via Yahoo to Heathen  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Hypothesis. Offline
Not significant.

TeenHelp Veteran
Hypothesis.'s Avatar
Name: Dez
Age: 23
Gender: They/them.
Location: Connecticut, USA

Posts: 19,431
Blog Entries: 139
Join Date: November 16th 2010

Re: How to tell? - June 2nd 2018, 06:12 AM


I am assuming that this already happened, so sorry that you didn't get a response beforehand!

Maybe if this happens again, once she gets settled in you can ask her to sit down with you (on the couch, etc) and let her know that you had a bit of a rough day and things got overwhelming so you ended up self harming. You can say that you're sorry for not telling her sooner but you didn't want to worry her while she was out (if that is true). Then you can explain that you think you need medical attention for the wound and that you'd like her to take you and support you. She seems to already know about your self harm which is at least a start, so if you think it would be helpful for both of you, maybe explain the feelings behind what triggered you this time?

I am not sure for the dissociation bit so maybe someone can add more on that part.

  (#3 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
Gender: Just me

Posts: 17,122
Blog Entries: 1796
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: How to tell? - June 3rd 2018, 11:39 AM

Hey Jordan,

How are things now? I know we've been talking a bit so I don't have a ton to add. I do hope that you and your girlfriend can work out a way for you to tell her about yourself harm without feeling guilty about doing so. I know that you worry about hurting people and having people worry about you but that worry does show that they care. We had a decent conversation and I think that it might help if you told your girlfriend someone of the things you've told me. That might take some burden off of telling her because you will know that you were able to communicate how certain things affect you and what stops you from being open right away. I am guessing that if she knew about those concerns she'd tell you that she'd rather know right away so she can help get you proper help.

I know communication is hard for you and I can kind of understand why but maybe this is a conversation you two could have in a family session. There would be a therapist who could mediate and help you both get out everything that you need.

I am here and always available. You are strong, brave and you deserve kindness,

|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
Closed Thread


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.