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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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If you need that little piece of advice - September 21st 2018, 06:17 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Day 11 07/26/2018

TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER.

Hello to all of you lovely people out there. How do you feel about at the moment you are in right now? I am going to throw a trigger warning out there. So please take caution before you decide to continue reading. I didn’t want to address this topic just yet. I wanted to educate myself a little bit more. But this is such an important topic that I do need to talk about.

I have been struggling with self harm and since I was around the age of 13. And if I’m going to be honest with my audience, I still struggle with it to this very day. So why listen to the hypocrite who doesn’t even have it all together herself? Well because even though I’m struggling myself, I still have something to say.

Back when I first made my YouTube account, I made a video with advice on how to deal with self harm and of course to overcome it. I’ll be honest, I don’t remember a single word I said from that video. But I do remember that a couple people messaged me thanking me for posting that video and asking me to talk about other topics as well.

I’m not going to sit here and discuss each individual way that people use to inflict harm on themselves, because I know people can use the information and try new ways to self harm. And I’m trying to avoid that by all means possible.

“That doesn’t help.”

So first, I want to begin by talking about things you think might be helping, but maybe we should try to avoid approaching the situation this way.

“You’re just doing it for attention.”
This one bothers me a lot. I remember being at Havenwyck and one of the staff members, during a group discussion, said, “Whether you want to admit it or not, you cut yourself for attention. It is the irresponsible way to cry for help.” And to that I said, “I don’t cut myself for attention. I wear specific clothing on purpose to hide my scars. I don’t want people to know about them. And the only reason people do know about my scars is because when I was first admitted, it is protocol for the hospital to check our bodies for indications of self harm and report back to our families about it.”

“You don’t care about me if you self harm.”
We want to avoid playing the game of guilt. Do we want our loved ones to hurt themselves? No. Does it hurt to watch our loved ones hurting? Yes. So don’t watch. Instead, try to help them find different ways to cope and maybe even help to seek professional guidance.

“If you cut yourself, then I’m going to cut myself.”
I hate to say this, but yes, I am guilty of this. It is so unhealthy. Self harm should not be made into a game. You also aren’t helping yourself or the other person in this situation. This is so dangerous.

Why do we self harm?
Again, I don’t want to go to deep into this because I don’t want to feed anyone’s addiction or give anyone the wrong idea. Unfortunately, some select few do inflict pain on themselves for attention. And I’m not here to shame you or condemn you if you do. I just hope that we can overcome this. For many of us, we do it because we think we deserve to feel pain. Other times we do it because we know endorphins are released and can cause a high type feeling to cover over the actual physical pain. Self harm can be a form of addiction—it makes us feel okay for a few seconds, but then we do actually cause ourselves more pain and problems then we had to deal with to begin with.

How can I try to avoid self harm?
I’m always going to try to encourage the use of positive coping mechanisms. And if you ever need to look back at those list, just check out my post about coping skills. They’re always there.

This one I do sometimes. Where I usually go to hurt myself, I would draw on myself instead. Sometimes, I’d rather see pretty flowers instead of my ugly scars.

“Since the Bible said nothing directly about self-harming, I hoped that maybe it didn’t count as sinning and that therefore God couldn’t mark it against me.” (Page 47)
In Ariel Bloomer’s Turn Your Pain Into Art, she does address the topic of self harm. And so maybe checking out what she has to say can help you too.

But what really helps me think before I hurt myself is the song “Under The Knife” by Icon For Hire. Again, thank you, Ariel Bloomer.

“When we were 15 we wouldn’t dare let that be seen, but now it seems mutilations gone mainstream. I see you at my shows scarred up from head to toe like there’s no point in even trying not to let it show. Cutters and burners and honorable mentions, posers who still cut themselves up for the attention. I don’t care your intentions, I just want you to know. My self hatred never took me where I wanted to go. And at the end of the day, you know I still had to face that I can pick at the pain, but I can’t cut it away. And you know what else I can’t do is give you 10 good reasons not to. I’ve racked my brain for clever sayings of all the things you ought to do. But you know, I think if there was something I could say They’d have thrown it on a brochure and sent you on your way.”
And of course I want to leave you guys with the crisis line: 1–800 –273–8255 (United States). And if you just need someone to talk to, you can always message me. I love you guys. Stay strong.

I would also like to leave you guys with one more piece of advice. I found this on the Internet when I was first released from the mental hospital. It is a paper chain project. You use a different color for each day that you don’t do self harm. And you use white paper for the days that you relapse. It goes to show how far you’ve come and it’s nice to see some visual progress for what we are working on mentally. So seeing the cards out about relapse is part of recovery. So for now let’s not focus on or be discouraged by a relapse. Let’s focus more on how far we have come and how far we can go.


"In your deepest pain, in your weakest hour, in your darkest night, you are lovely." -Icon For Hire
   
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Re: If you need that little piece of advice - October 2nd 2018, 07:57 PM

This was really motivational. Thank you for sharing your story. <3


Let it come and let it be...

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