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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Effy2018 Offline
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Unhappy Started again :( - May 15th 2019, 08:02 AM

I have started self harming again after going through a rough patch. I am so ashamed and upset with myself for doing it again. My ex came back into my life after a few months. Said he wanted to get back with me, I was a fool to trust him, he just wanted me for sex and turns out he already had a girlfriend so he cheated. Once a cheat always a cheat, I should have learnt the first time but its difficult when you still have strong feelings for someone. This time is the last time I am taking him back.
I feel so ashamed for self harming, I just want to be happy but things just keep going downhill at the moment and its getting hard to cope with without self harming.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Started again :( - May 19th 2019, 03:05 PM

Sorry to hear that you have started self-harming again. It makes sense that you would feel upset and ashamed about this, but remember that we all slip up and relapse at times and it's okay. What matters is getting through the relapse, so please don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm really sorry to hear about your ex. You weren't a fool. When we have strong feelings for someone, it can definitely cloud our judgement, but that doesn't make us foolish. It makes us human. In fact, if your ex comes back again, he will be the foolish one thinking that you will take him back, as it sounds like you've made up your mind. You deserve healthy relationships, not to be used for sex or to be someone's choice when it comes to cheating.

It makes sense that when things get difficult you would turn to self-harm. Do you have anyone you can talk to? It can be good to lean on others for emotional support during difficult times. Also, if you haven't already, you might want to check out our alternatives resource for ideas on how to cope when the urge to self-harm appears.

You deserve to be happy, and I'm sure you will be in time


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Started again :( - June 4th 2019, 02:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celyn View Post
Sorry to hear that you have started self-harming again. It makes sense that you would feel upset and ashamed about this, but remember that we all slip up and relapse at times and it's okay. What matters is getting through the relapse, so please don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm really sorry to hear about your ex. You weren't a fool. When we have strong feelings for someone, it can definitely cloud our judgement, but that doesn't make us foolish. It makes us human. In fact, if your ex comes back again, he will be the foolish one thinking that you will take him back, as it sounds like you've made up your mind. You deserve healthy relationships, not to be used for sex or to be someone's choice when it comes to cheating.

It makes sense that when things get difficult you would turn to self-harm. Do you have anyone you can talk to? It can be good to lean on others for emotional support during difficult times. Also, if you haven't already, you might want to check out our alternatives resource for ideas on how to cope when the urge to self-harm appears.

You deserve to be happy, and I'm sure you will be in time
I said I wouldn't take him back, but I did. This time it was him who walked out, using my chronic illness as an excuse so he could go running back to someone else, I'm such a fool
   
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Celyn Offline
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Re: Started again :( - June 4th 2019, 05:56 PM

You're not a fool. You had a lot of confusing feelings for your ex and that doesn't make you a fool for taking him back.

I'm sorry to hear that he walked out and used your chronic illness as an excuse to go back to someone else. You aren't responsible for his behaviour. Him walking out on you, after you took him back, and then using your chronic illness as the reason why says a lot more about him than it does you!


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Re: Started again :( - June 4th 2019, 06:37 PM

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling right now. It can be difficult saying "no" to someone you have feelings for and then to get hurt again, that certainly doesn't make it any easier. Stop making excuses as to why you should get back together with him when he does come around again, because it's only going to hurt yourself in the end and you will face the same struggle.

Do you have friends or family who can help take your mind off things? Perhaps you can find a hobby or volunteer opportunities to fill up your time.

Remember, your health and wellness comes over any guy (or girl) that walks into your life.

Best of luck!


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Re: Started again :( - June 4th 2019, 07:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterfly. View Post
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling right now. It can be difficult saying "no" to someone you have feelings for and then to get hurt again, that certainly doesn't make it any easier. Stop making excuses as to why you should get back together with him when he does come around again, because it's only going to hurt yourself in the end and you will face the same struggle.

Do you have friends or family who can help take your mind off things? Perhaps you can find a hobby or volunteer opportunities to fill up your time.

Remember, your health and wellness comes over any guy (or girl) that walks into your life.

Best of luck!
Its now time for me to look after myself and spend my time with my daughter when she is off school.
I have told him not to bother coming back to the flat.
   
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