TeenHelp - a dilemma

TeenHelp (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/)

- Self Harm (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/)

- - a dilemma (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t162831-dilemma/)

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]i recently noticed a student in my class who sits next to me self harming. i don't know them personally but i am aware of certain rumours throughout the school that this person has incredibly strict parents. i think im the only person who saw what was happening in class and im not sure if anyone else knows. i cant approach them as i dont know them well enough to breach the topic. i also dont want to go and tell a teacher in case they pass it onto the parents. i have tried different charities and helplines but so far have not been given helpful advice. i feel like i have to do something but am not sure what is the best option.[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

Hey there, thanks for reaching out! I understand how you're concerned and want to look out for your classmate. First, you say there's gossip around the school about how this individual has strict parents; unless they've told you themselves, it's hearsay. But, that doesn't necessarily mean they aren't struggling at home. You sound like a genuinely caring person for having reached out and investigated different resources! I think the best thing you can do is try to be a friend to this person. Don't come right out and say "hey, I saw you self-harming in class the other day" but just be friendly. Perhaps offer to let them sit with you and your friends at lunch, or do a study session with them, or something that doesn't take you two out of the school context — because that really is your common ground now and, as you said, you don't know them that well.

Please keep us updated on what happens next, wishing you the best of luck!

Hello, thank you so much for coming onto Teenhelp and telling us about this, you were so brave, great job.

I also think it's a good idea to try to become friends with this person. I look at it as everyone needs a friend and you sound like a lovely person. If you want to go up to this person and see if they would like to come over to your house to do homework and hang out with you and then you can start talking about anything else. I also think, don't just come out and ask about the self harm. Another idea that you can try is, when they are over at your house you can start talking about something that you or a sibling is going through and you can say how this upsets you and anything else that you would like to add and sometimes they will open up to you because you are sharing something very personal about yourself. Also you can go to the school counselors office and talk to them about this. You don't have to say the person's name. Try to find something to help you get your mind off of this for a while if it's upsetting you. Going for a walk around your house or reading a book for a while or drawing or painting or listening to music or watching movies or something else to do. I wish you the best with this and hope that you and this person will be okay soon. Also if you ever wanted to join Teenhelp you can. :) Thank you so much for coming on and telling us about what is going on. Sending you:hug: