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-   -   not allowed to slip... (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t1831-not-allowed-slip/)

breathinginanythingbutair January 16th 2009 10:52 PM

not allowed to slip...
 
Please someone remind me its not worth it to slip. Its not worth it to watch myself bleed away the pain. I need to...i cant slip. Ive made it almost a week. The marks from last time are barely disappearing. I cant slip. But I want to cut so bad.
Everything feels so empty. I cant think straight and it feels useless to continue living so blankly. I might as well feel pain.
I thought I wanted to get out of this...I dont know anymore.

soul January 16th 2009 10:56 PM

Re: not allowed to slip...
 
If you have made it a week you can make it one more day! Think of how far you've come. Think of your goal...never cutting again! You can do it. I believe in you. What is making you want to do this?

breathinginanythingbutair January 16th 2009 11:08 PM

Re: not allowed to slip...
 
Everything. I feel like my world is completely out of my control. I actually cut my own hair today trying to feel in control. I cant handle my parents. I just...people are destroying me. They dont know they are, but their every action makes me want to scream. Even some of the nice ones. They dont realize that in loving me, they're making me want to cut.

soul January 16th 2009 11:18 PM

Re: not allowed to slip...
 
I am so sorry you are feeling so crappy. Could you try doing something relaxing like taking a bath, listening to some calm music, or reading?

breathinginanythingbutair January 16th 2009 11:32 PM

Re: not allowed to slip...
 
im trying. im trying. i love my friend. shes all thats keeping me standing.

its a good thing that i cant pick up the blade because Im so afraid I'll go too far this time right? I mean good, cause i wont pick it up...so confused.

soul January 16th 2009 11:39 PM

Re: not allowed to slip...
 
Could you call your friend that means so much to you? Talking to her might help you think happier thoughts. There is a thread on the SH forum where you post how far you've come. Maybe posting on that thread would give you some hope.

udontno January 17th 2009 09:47 AM

Re: not allowed to slip...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by breathinginanythingbutair (Post 19904)
im trying. im trying. i love my friend. shes all thats keeping me standing.

its a good thing that i cant pick up the blade because Im so afraid I'll go too far this time right? I mean good, cause i wont pick it up...so confused.

I'm a day late on your post. Did you make it through last night alright? I know it wasn't easy if you did manage to make it without cutting. You really should be proud.

If you did slip, then it's okay too. Relapses happen. You have to pick up the pieces and move on. I hope you are alright. If you ever want to talk, feel free to contact me.

breathinginanythingbutair January 18th 2009 10:17 PM

Re: not allowed to slip...
 
udontno- i made it through that night, but i didnt make it through last night. had a bad one. sadly enough it was triggered by someone telling me it was obvious i cut and that i shouldnt.

thank you for your concern though

.:Bibliophile:. January 18th 2009 11:08 PM

Re: not allowed to slip...
 
I am so sorry you slipped up, that really sucks. However, you shouldn't let that get you too low. The thing is, is that slip ups happen. I know that sounds cliche but it really isn't. From my own experience they happen and if you let it it will make you stronger. Try again. No matter how many times you slip up you always have the option to try again, don't let your slip ups bring you down. If you ever need to talk pm me. :shades:


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