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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Post I tried but I gave in - July 6th 2009, 10:22 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Everything was just too much last night and I couldn't help it. I had to make the pain go away somehow. Now all I can do is stare at the cuts and hate myself more for giving in.
   
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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 6th 2009, 10:25 PM

Hi Saria

The worst thing you can do is not the cutting, its the blaming yourself for doing it.

Do not stare and hate yourself.

You had a relapse, completely normal. Almost every SH'er has relapses.

Nothing to be ashmed off.

If u wanna talk Im here

Jamie
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 6th 2009, 10:32 PM

Its just so hard though not to blame myself. No matter how hard I try I can't not blame myself.
   
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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 7th 2009, 02:07 AM

Hey Saria,

I'm sorry to hear that things have been going rough for you. Please don't give up trying because of a slip up. It's ok to slip up, its a part of recovery. But you have to pick yourself back up and keep trying. A slip up is just a bump along the road. Pick yourself up and keep trying because its worth it and youre worth it.

If you ever need anything at all my inbox is always open so feel free to leave me a message.

Take Care <3
   
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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 7th 2009, 02:15 AM

I think most people feel this way after they SH. Usually, when I feel this way, I just think to myself, "Last night was a mistake, today's a new day. Tomorrow's a new day. The next day's a new day, and so on..." That usually helps a little. I just think to myself you can't live in the past or I'd be screwed......
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 7th 2009, 05:15 AM

I cut again. It seems there is no other way to make the pain go away. It hurts so much. There is no way out.
   
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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 7th 2009, 02:12 PM

Hi Saria,

There are many ways to help the pain go away. Sometimes they don't make the pain dissapear. Like cutting doesn't always help. I mean yes, it does help for a while but after doesn't the same pain that you were just feeling come back? You shouldn't hate yourself for it. I'm sure that you don't hate yourself, you merely feel dissapointed. I know the feeling. But like you should find a distraction for when you feel like how you felt last night. Such as: watch videos on YouTube, make a new MySpace layout, indulge and eat ice cream, call a friend, talk to a member of your family, go for a jog, read a book, rip up paper, play with your dog/cat (if you have one), make a lil' doll or buy one from a local arts and crafts store and cut her tell yourself that you cannot cut until you have fully sewn up her wounds there are lots of other things that you can do too. But I am very sorry that you felt like that sad.

You can always PM me if you'd like.

Take care,
Braiden
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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 7th 2009, 09:42 PM

I just can't keep trying to distract myself though, when the pain is constant and doesn't go away. I don't have any other way to cope and it is just so hard. I don't have to motivation to keep trying anymore when I keep slipping up.


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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 7th 2009, 10:15 PM

Saria,

You must remember that it is OKAY to slip. This is a quote from one of my favorite songs ever: 'it's okay, we all fall off of the wagon sometimes, it's not your whole life, it's only one day and you haven't thrown everything away'. Remember that you haven't thrown everythig away, you don't have to stop trying, you can go on. I'm so proud of you for coming on TH and asking for help with your problem that shows that you really want to fix it and that you don't want to live with the frustration and anxiety and guilt that you are filled with right now. I'm so proud of you for that. I think that if you keep going strong you can and will make it through this. Just try the distractions, please. They are so good and they can help you so much. They might not be able to bring the same sensation as SH-ing, but they help prevent future scars from forming, they kind of help heal the old scars instead of harnessing new ones. You don't deserve to have to look at those scars everyday, they hurt, but you also don't deserve to go through what you're going through. I wish I had the magic words to tell you, but I don't. I can just try and help you understand how much it means to have everything right there and not really want it. You are better than this. I know you are. You are strong. And I know you are beautiful. Why put yourself trough this? Why live like this?

Please, think carefully on what you are doing. I beg of you.

Take Care,
Braiden.

Last edited by braidenowns; July 7th 2009 at 10:20 PM. Reason: Spelling/English is not my first language so..grammar too. I should proof read. Sorry.
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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 8th 2009, 09:23 PM

Saria-

Slip-ups are probably the biggest part of quitting self harm. Really. Because you have to learn what other coping skills you have to use. And what other things you can try before self harming.

So try this, print out that list of alternatives, or at least write down your favorite twenty or so. When you have the urge to self harm, make yourself try five of them before you self harm. Each, should take a minimum of ten minutes. A thirty second distraction isn't very distracting.

You can even Google "Safe coping skills" or something of that sort. I'm sure you can find some amazing ideas.

Have you tried the Butterfly thing? What you do, is take a sharpie, or temporary tattoo, and draw a butterfly on you wherever you self harm. Then the goal is to try not to self harm until the butterfly fades or else you've "killed" the butterfly. If you're not fond of butterflies, other things work. I've used ladybugs, dragons, flowers, whatever works for you. This is by far the thing that helps me the best. You can usually get really cheap temp tattoos at like a dollar store or something, and they look pretty too. ^_^

Stay safe, you can do this. <3
Maria.



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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 8th 2009, 09:31 PM

I wanted to cut so badly lastnight but I didn't, thankfully. But not cutting makes it so hard to cope and handle the other pain. I know I can't cut though, especially today since I have an appointment with my counsellor and she doesn't know I self harm. I've been thining about telling her but I don't know if I should or not??


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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 9th 2009, 03:02 AM

Hey Saria,

I think that telling your counselor could be a good idea. Sometimes having someone to talk to about it all can be really really helpful. Your counselor might also be able to recommend some other coping skills(although this site covers most of them I think). Another thing your counselor could do is help you deal with your emotions in a positive way(talking). Please consider it.

Saria, the alternatives are definitely a great idea but please remember that they are not a quick fix and it might take your body a good while to really really like them. So, for a while you may use them and cut anyways; but don't give up on the alternatives because with time your body should start liking them and wanting to use them.

Please hang in there and if you need anyone to talk to feel free to pm me.


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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 10th 2009, 02:10 AM

Hi Saria you are doing so good by just coming here and admiting you need help now the best thing you can do is tell your counselor so she can help you get through this. I know how hard is to break something you've gotten use to but over time things get easier just keep going even when you mess up its only temporary. You just get back up and try again and you can never truely fail


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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 10th 2009, 04:42 PM

Hi Saria, I don't know you, but I can still say I'm proud of you for posting a message on here and looking for help because there is so many people here who would love to help. I'm also glad you tried to stop cutting, don't let one little slip cause you to hate or blame yourself. You're doing amazing just by trying to quit, you're trying your hardest and thats all that matters. I think you should talk to your counselor, they helped me a lot and as crazy as some of their coping ideas may sound, some of them actually work so be sure to give them a try. Like I said, I'm proud you're trying to stop and I'm here if you ever need to talk to me, just pm and I'll be happy to help. Keep up the good work, you can do it
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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 10th 2009, 09:44 PM

Everyone keeps saying that everyone slips up and not to let one slip up get in the way of my recovery but I have slipped up more than once. I have been slipping for the last week and now I have heaps more scars. If I have slipped up so many times how can everyone keep saying that I am still recovering??


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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 11th 2009, 07:57 AM

cause if you fall down you get back up again but as everyone has said you need to talk to someone so they can help you overcome this also when you want to cut try distracting yourself with tv, music, writing, coloring, something you enjoy that won't remind you of cutting PM if you wanna talk


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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 11th 2009, 08:52 AM

Saria,

The thing about slip ups is sometimes they take a while to pull yourself out of but in the end you do. You will pull yourself back up again.

I really wish that you would talk to someone about this because talking can be really helpful. Please consider it.

Hang in there and if you need anything my pm box is open.


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Re: I tried but I gave in - July 11th 2009, 10:17 AM

Its just to hard for me to talk to people though and I want to talk to someone that knows me and actually cares, not just someone that has to listen because it is there job. At the same time though I don't want to worry the people I care about with everything that I go through. It isn't fair that I have to go through this so it wouldn't be fair for them to have to support me and try to understand. No one should have to deal with someone that would rather cut themselves then get help.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
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