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Unhappy I can't shake this feeling.... - July 26th 2009, 05:58 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I keep having this really guilty feeling, where I feel like anything bad that happened to me is all my fault, and that if I didn't SH, I would have been able to help people more, and everyboyd in my life would be SO much happier, and I know all of these bad things aren't my fault, I can't shake this feeling! It's REALLY triggering for me, and I just want to RUN upstairs and grab my scissors, and just cutting myself!!!!!!! Ughhhhh I don't know what to do! I'm going on 25 days, and I DON'T want to ruin this, but I feel like I NEED to! And the longer I wait, I feel like my arm/thighs are litterally in pain, and my stomach is just in a knot, like all of my emotions are tied up in their, and it's like they're going to explode!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHH
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Re: I can't shake this feeling.... - July 26th 2009, 02:52 PM

Heya Megan.

Self harm is an addiction, simple as and what you seem to be going through are 'withdrawal symptoms'. Its like a drug, when you cut you get a false high and when you a long time without , your body and mind begins to miss that high.
Its so so so great to have gone 25 days without cutting, its amazing!! You pushed through the urges for a full 25 days and said 'no' and thats defianly something you should be proud of!
Its good that you know that the bad things that went on in your life were not your fault and you should keep reminding yourself of that.
Try and focus on yourself for a while, on trying to make YOU better. Its much easier to help someone else, if you are ok yourself. You can always make a reply here on someone post or do something small for someone else, if you really want to help someone. But I still think you should work on helping yourself before you can help others.

PM me anytime you want to talk Megan


The lord says 'before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart'

Jeremiah 1.5

Just keep swimming swimming swimming - Dory from finding Nemo!!

Hold your head high princess, for tomorrow is another day.

You can do tonight without the help of a blade and wake in the morning with the feeling of accomplishment

PM me anytime, I am always here to be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear whats bothering you and words to make you see the hope

  Send a message via MSN to x-x-xblackx-x-xrosex-x-x  
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Re: I can't shake this feeling.... - July 26th 2009, 09:52 PM

Hiya megan,

25 days is in fact really awesome, and I hope you keep going with it. As more time passes it will get easier overall but there will also be some rough spots. You aren't doing anything wrong, but these spots can come along anyways.

When you get the urges, or that desperate feeling like you have to do something its hard not to think of sh. It's also hard to turn yourself away from that to do something more positive. There are soo many ways to let out all the feelings, and which ones people use vary. It could be drawing, running, writing, going for a drive, swimming - you get the picture. Whatever you want really, of course its always good to have different things for different scenarios. You can't go for a swim when its snowing after all = ] It takes time but you'll find more coping methods if you don't have some already.

I think blaming ourselves for everything is a feeling that many of us get, so you aren't alone. It's easy to blame ourselves and take responsibility for problems that weren't caused by ourselves, but in the end it doesn't do you any good and pity parties aren't ever productive. Its good that you're trying to ignore this feeling.

Don't let your emotions explode, physical exercise can go a long way. Keep going with this and remember that you are strong enough.


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