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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
9Lives Offline
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Just trying to ignore yet another urge - July 27th 2009, 01:01 PM

I wasn't going to post this, but oh well. Since when did I stick to my decisions?

I have this really strong urge to cut. I just need to. Today was a really sucky day. This whole weeek pretty much sucked and what's to guarantee next week won't be the same? I'm trying to distract myself, coz the alternatives just don't work for me. And I can't do this. I've workd too hard to not do it. It's been 3months and a half and I don't want to do it but I think i should. Just once. Why not? Why? I don't know. maybe it'll get rid of all this. Coz I know I'll definitely feel better. But is it worth it? Probably not.

I'm in medical school (I'm 18 still). Just started the semester. And already my first quiz went horribly wrong. And I feel like cutting will make all the bad things go away, no matter how short a while. I want to distract myself, but my mind keeps calling my attention to the case in my drawer. And what's inside. And if i do it, I'll feel better. Why not? Why bother? Noone in my life knows about this. Why bother trying to quit when after all this time i just want what I started out refusing to myself? I don't know anymore.


"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars."
-Khalil Gibran-

"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles."
-Charles Chaplin-
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
lauren_160 Offline
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Re: Just trying to ignore yet another urge - July 27th 2009, 02:35 PM

Hey, I'm Lauren,
First off, three and a half months, is an amazing achievement!, i'm really proud of you, i can see you're feeling pretty awful at the moment, but just concerntrate on taking each day at a time. I think a good idea for you is just to get rid of whats inside that case in your drawer, maybe take a walk and just through it into a bush or into a river or something? just somewhere you can't get to it, because having it there is just going to give you more urges.
Really, all you can do is just try as hard as you can, even after 3 and a half months its still going to be hard, to get self harm out of your life, and you probably will get urges for a bit longer, but you've been so strong!,
Have you tried talking to anyone offline about this? a friend, a relative.
Talking to people on TH helps, but sometimes you need someone close just to hug and be reassured by,
Take care!xx


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
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Re: Just trying to ignore yet another urge - July 27th 2009, 04:15 PM

hi,
you already did it for 3.5 months why not try to take it bit by bit, say if I was clear for 3.5 months I can keep it for another hour and when it is over do it again, find some interesting distractions, some of my personal favs are :t.v, fiction books, comedy movies (make me laugh), tragedy movies (makes me feel my problems are small )....keep on the good work


If ur at the bottom then cheer it only can go better
If you are lonely then smile
You do not need them to stay alive
If they hurt you bad ,been hurt worst and every thing is just pushing u down...
And even though you are strong enough to survive


p.m me.........I quite like it

   
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Re: Just trying to ignore yet another urge - July 27th 2009, 07:27 PM

cutting is never the answer.
even though the urge is stong once you get over it
you will feel so good about your self.
take it slow, and if you need any alternatives let me know.
(:
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*Jen* Offline
keep smiling :-)
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Re: Just trying to ignore yet another urge - July 27th 2009, 08:14 PM

Hey,

I am glad you posted this because it sounds like you could do with some extra help right now since it seems like you are going through a tough time. 3 and a half months is fantastic! Honestly that is a huge achievement and just shows that you can stop self harming. I know it can be tough at times and all you want to do is give in. But let me tell you I went 10 months without self harm once then did it and the next time it was so much harder to stop. It isn't worth that. Once you do it again you will only want to do it again and again because of how addictive it is. Is it really worth it? All those scars that you will probably have to explain at some point and all the isolation it causes. I don't think it is worth that.

You can fight these urges; you are strong to have come this far so keep hanging on. If you need anything at all then you are more than welcome to PM me. Stay strong and don't give up :-)

   
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Re: Just trying to ignore yet another urge - July 28th 2009, 06:20 PM

thanks everyone. it's nice to know people still care about people.

this week doesn't seem to be improving, but oh well. But i'm not going to do it. Not just yet. Jen's right. It might seem worth it at the time, but when it's over, it's not.

Thanks again everyone.


"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars."
-Khalil Gibran-

"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles."
-Charles Chaplin-
   
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