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callmecasper? Offline
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"relapse"? - July 28th 2009, 07:45 AM

so, i'm [casper]. last weekend i was with a friend at another friends cabin, we found the liquor cabinet and got more than a little buzzed. i've been trying not to drink/smoke/self harm and have stayed sober from all three for about 3 months, but in my alchohol drivan daze i cut. a lot. and the next few nights when the drinking continued and got more severe, so did my injuries. lately i've been neither sad nor happy, just floating in between in indifference. i hate it, i'd rather be sad sometimes and still be happy sometimes too instead of nothing at all. i dont know what i'm really asking with this post, i just want advice/help...
p.s. i done all the treatment and in patient/out patient things, and im on 60 mgs of prosac as well as 150 of welbutrin and i have been for about 6 months.. i dont know what to do anymore. then again i dont know if i really care.
im flirting eith the idea of suicide but i know i'm not worth the attention death would bring into my family. i dont want to make anyone feel bad or feel anything at all about me, i'd like to just dissappear, or better yet fall asleep and stay in slumber forever..
   
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Re: "relapse"? - July 28th 2009, 09:02 PM

welcome to teenhelp.

casper i think that your self injury and drinking are related and if you were to do
one then the other is to follow, i thinks taying away from them all together is a good idea. you should surround yourself with friends who suppot this instead of not.

suicide isnt the answer and will do more harm then good to the people around you.

if you dont want to talk to a therapist how about a friend or close adult, anyone as long as you get it out
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Re: "relapse"? - July 29th 2009, 12:32 AM

thanks for the reply..
im currently seeing a therapist that ive been seeing for about 17 months now,, andi only started drinking when i was around 13 so i dont really know if my s.h. and unsoberiety are related. i'm sure its easier for me to cut with the help if alcohol but it isnt in anyway necessary for self harm to happen..i am trying to avoid both though.
   
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Re: "relapse"? - July 29th 2009, 02:12 AM

im glad to hear that your trying to avoid it.
it hard to deal with i know.
this is a stupid question but is your therapist helping you in anyway
to make this better?
there are tons of alterntnaives and you will have a ton of support here.
stay strong. i know you can beat this!
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Re: "relapse"? - July 29th 2009, 04:00 AM

not necessarily, no. but then again she can't /make/ me do anything, but i'm thinking about finding a new therapist..
   
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Re: "relapse"? - July 29th 2009, 04:04 AM

i think thats a good idea.
because therapist although they can make you do anything
are suppose to help you so you can get better, not keep the problem going.
its a step by step process so be patient. i hope if you do get a new therapist
it get better. i want you to find the help you need.
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Re: "relapse"? - July 30th 2009, 06:31 AM

Is the indifference triggering you? You are still quite young and sometimes antidepressants can have a negative effect on someone of your age. I would definitely recommend that you talk with someone and figure this out, because you deserve to feel, whether happy or sad, it just should be in a healthy way. I know sometimes its hard to fight the urge, you just have to remember there are better ways to cope. I know it doesn't feel like it, even 2 years ago I would have cast down that option without a second thought, although there is. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to and sort your feelings out with. With SH it's always short lived and easy to go back for more, you can only block out whats really bothering you without fixing it, or even just sorting it out, for so long. You can do it sweetie, hang in there and keep trying.
   
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