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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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do you think? - August 2nd 2009, 05:19 PM

I noticed some scars on my friends arm none of them were fresh and most of them were faded, but now I'm starting to wonder if I found someone else with the same problem as me. When I asked him where he got the scars he changed the subject. Eventually I just dropped it, but I'm planning on taliking to him about it again. Then later he was sawing at his leg with a plastic knife...

So do you think I found someone else who SH?
   
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Re: do you think? - August 2nd 2009, 05:24 PM

It's a really touchy topic to discuss, usually. You don't want to corner your friend and force him to speak about something that he may not feel comfortable talking about. You could ask him, yes, but I would strongly advise against pushing him to speak about anything that he doesn't feel comfortable speaking about. If he's comfortable with it, he'll discuss it with you. If not, I'd suggest that you leave it - despite your suspicions.

There are indeed many people that self-harm (or did self-harm) that you see every day. It's hard to believe but it's true. Some people are just better at hiding it in comparison to other people. If you would like to speak directly with someone who has had experience with self-harm, there are many individuals on TeenHelp who would be more than willing to help you out in that respect. While I can see the benefits of talking to a self-harmer in real life, sometimes it's just not an option at any given time.


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Re: do you think? - August 3rd 2009, 02:34 AM

It sounds like he may have a SH problem as well, you should try and bring it up gradually dont force it on him because it can be a touchy subject for some people and he might feel uncomfortable


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Re: do you think? - August 3rd 2009, 03:03 AM

Hey There Andy,

It seems as though the signs you have witnessed might lead to self harm. However as Sabrina pointed out, self harm is a touchy subject, and he might feel uncomfortable talking about it if you corner him in.

However you don't want him to feel threatened so if you do speak with him, slowly go into the subject. Then maybe announce your suspicion and make sure you let him know that if he doesn't what to talk about it, then he doesn't have to.

This is such a sensitive subject. I really wish you the best of luck in talking to him. I hope all is well. Please take care of yourself.

Take care,
   
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Re: do you think? - August 3rd 2009, 12:42 PM

you should just be gental and take your time...to ease the tension when you are going to ask him. try not to be too direct, as often that could turn people away.
   
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Re: do you think? - August 3rd 2009, 12:51 PM

There's a high chance that he probably has SH'ed in the past but I don't recommend confronting him about it. Just picture yourself in his shoes, would you like to be confronted about your problems with SH?


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Re: do you think? - August 3rd 2009, 01:23 PM

If you feel comfortable enough to talk to him about your SH, maybe that way he will feel more relaxed/comfortable about talking to you about it.
But like the others have said dont force him into talking if he really doesnt want to.


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Re: do you think? - August 3rd 2009, 01:33 PM

Thanks everyone.
I won't corner him. I'd probubly tell him about myself before asking him about it. I never planned to force him to talk about it. I think I probubly need to get him to trust me more.

[quote]There's a high chance that he probably has SH'ed in the past but I don't recommend confronting him about it. Just picture yourself in his shoes, would you like to be confronted about your problems with SH?[quote]

yes actually I would as long as I was alone with that person at the time
   
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