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michy7x Offline
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Unhappy I slipped first time in a long time. - August 2nd 2009, 06:15 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm not too fond of using TH atm for my own specific reasons, but i felt i needed to turn to this site right now (but to be fair, it has helped me in the past).

I've come a really long way, reached out to many kinds of help in the past, and i am content about life like i have never been for many years, now, but i have been going through an insanely stressful time right now, and it has boosted my insecurities tenfold about a particular issue. I am not suicidal about life- i enjoy life now to a much greater degree and have a lot of hope - but this issue was and has been unmanageable for me right now.

Cutting hasn't been my form of coping for a long time, and recently has been extremely trying - i've been drinking again, and wanting to abuse substances, but managed to reach deeper a few times and draw inner strength. A separate event that didn't help the previous stressful situation happened a little while ago today, and i tried again to stop myself but i needed to release some of the pain, and the main reason i personally ever cut, is to transfer the inward pain outside so i have something more manageable to focus on. It has helped a little, but of course it won't make my issue go away. It's just a bit of a buffer.

I'd prefer not to talk about the issues on this site right now, although i've made some of them clear in the past; i just need some emotional support. I'd really be grateful.

M.
   
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CherriesBlossom Offline
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Re: I slipped first time in a long time. - August 2nd 2009, 06:32 PM

well i am here to support you.
im sorry that you are having such a rough time right now.
but knowing that you have gone such a long time with out cutting
means that you will be that much stronger when you do it this time around.
i know you feel like you dont want to discuss your problems on here but would you
like you talk about them in a private messgae sweetie?


we are all here for you
hold your head high sweetie.
you can get through this
  Send a message via AIM to CherriesBlossom  
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
savealife723 Offline
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Re: I slipped first time in a long time. - August 2nd 2009, 06:33 PM

everyone slips up.
and that's okay.
the good part is that you're trying to make it go away.
you know it's not good for you.
and that's a really good thing for you to know.


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
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Re: I slipped first time in a long time. - August 2nd 2009, 06:41 PM

You know, I realize your not suicidal but I've seen some of the issues you have to deal with in your head and I saw a lot of it last night. While you may not be suicial, this is also a day to day nightmare you have to deal with, and part of that inner strength comes from that strength to put up with those inner demons you have. I know life at the moment for you is great but at the same time stressful to a highest level, and I love you darling and embrace every aspect of the beautiful girl that you are light side or darker side. You are the only girl in this world that I love and care for, and I'm sorry that current events have caused you to cut cause I know that isn't your number 1 coping mech, but all the same it has to be pretty bad for you to do it. But, just know that with every cut you end one chapter and can start new with a fresh start and things will get easier, cause your coming here to the states soon and you always wanted to see the US and it WILL get your mind off of things, I promise baby.

Anyway, music, I know helps out a lot and did help last night as well and I can't tell you to only listen to music when you get like this but just know that no matter how or what bad place you are in, music can always save you. You of all people know that and, no matter how bad things get, I'm always going to give you my full attention and love through any shit storm your going through because you are my world baby and I just want to make you happy =]

I love you, M *kisses*


---------------

"You never give into the pain, you just adjust to it!"--unknown

Last edited by Anonymous19; August 2nd 2009 at 06:49 PM.
   
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