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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
saaarah92 Offline
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When everything started - August 5th 2009, 05:43 AM

My first time cutting was about 2 years ago. I had no one to turn to about anything. Everything that happened just seemed to build up and when i couldnt take it anymore, i thought i needed another way out. I started cutting the top of my thighs with scissors, deep but never deep enough to bleed. I still have scars, but they arent very white anymore and pretty faded. A year ago is when i moved to my wrist. My friends saw what i had done and asked what happened. I always told them my cat scratched me and most of the time they believed me. My bestfriend didnt. One night i completely melted down and told her everything, but she didnt help..she said she couldnt be friends with someone like that and threatened if i did it again she would stop talking to me. Thinking about losing her as my friend made me do it more, but of course i hid it. I was able to stop for about 6 months, but when things started to slide downhill was when i picked it up again. Last week i cut my wrist and punched a sharp piece of glass until my knuckles were bleeding. I know i have a problem and i know something needs to be done about it, but i dont know what i can do. A couple months ago was when my boyfriend found out because he saw 4 pretty deep cuts across my thigh and he said if i ever got the urge to call him and hed be right over, but when i get upset enough to where i feel i need to, calling someone to come stop me is the farthest thing from my mind. Ive also burned myself a few times. And now when i need to do it im not afraid to try a new spot or go deeper than i have before. I dont want to be covered in scars but its almost an addiction and hard to stop, especially when things in my life arent so great like lately. I just dont know what to do to help myself.
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dancer Offline
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Re: When everything started - August 5th 2009, 05:58 AM

Hey there,


I'm sorry that things have been so rough for you, sweetie. But please try not to hurt yourself. I understand how addicting self-harm can get, but we have to keep going forward, reminding ourselves that it is an addiction but therefore beatable. Try just taking it one urge at a time. Focus on getting through one urge - just that one. Because then when you do, you know you can get through the next one. And it gets easier over time, too.

Have you seen the sticky in the SH forum? It gives a lot of good alternatives. I know that reaching out for help is sometimes the last thing we want to do when we feel like SHing, but it can be helpful to put something, like a piece of paper with your boyfriend's phone number on it or something, near what you otherwise would have used to self-harm as a reminder that there are people who care about you and don't want you to hurt and will try to help make it better. I'm sorry about the way your best friend reacted; she might have said it not because she actually meant it, though, but because she was trying to "threaten" you into stopping. If you think that talking to her might help, I'd definitely say try to reach out to her, too, and let her know that you need her support as a friend, ask her to see you for you and not just for what you've done.

Also, one particular alternative that might help is the butterfly method, where instead of cutting or burning, you draw a butterfly on the place you would have and maybe name it after someone who cares about you, like a boyfriend.

Of course, we're always here, whenever you'd like to talk or need to rant or need help through an urge. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Hang in there

Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Ngikhona Offline
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Re: When everything started - August 11th 2009, 08:49 AM

I'm sorry your friend reacted the way she did. Like dancer said, she might've been threatening you in hopes it would stop you. Obviously it hasn't done that, and you should talk to her about how her doing that has made things harder for you. If she genuinely cares about you, she'll try to do something else to help you. You should tell her how she can help you and what won't help you so that she doesn't do anything that hurts you. It sounds like you really care about her, so I hope she understands. If she doesn't understand, as much as it could hurt, she couldn't have been a very good friend. You should do the same thing with your boyfriend. Make sure you tell him that you're not thinking about trying to call him when you're upset like that, you guys could try to come up with ways to stop. He sounds like he cares and wants to help, and you could try something like giving him your matches or razors or whatever. Make sure you tell him to not give them back to you. It's not fool-proof, but it may help.

Again, like dancer said, the sticky on these forums for alternatives is really good. If you just keep going down the list eventually you may have lost the urge to hurt yourself.

It sounds like you really want to stop, and it would probably be good if you tried getting yourself to a psychologist or psychiatrist, because they really can help if you find the right one for you.

PM me or anything if you ever need something.

"Love me for me, accept the fact I'm true, live like I want, fufill my dreams,
Dream of me, run out free, capture your words and never let them go."

I'll see you on the other side.
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