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-   -   Triggering (SH): -_-' (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t22672-_/)

Kokoro August 11th 2009 11:44 PM

All my hard work.
All my resistance.
All the times I turned away.

It felt so good. I couldn't resist, not this time. The glass was looking and too tempting to resist.

I just went for it. Took the shortest time I could and realised what I'd done. It went so quick I didn't realise.

I went 4 months.. and now I screwed up :mad:

*Jen* August 12th 2009 12:04 AM

Re: -_-'

Firstly, you did amazing to go a whole 4 months without self harm! That is such an achievement and just proves that you can do it. You can stop but you might have slip ups along the way but what really matters is how you pick yourself up after these slip ups. Now you can either beat yourself up about it and keep regretting it or realise it was only a slip up and slip ups are part of recovery. No one can ever take away the fact you went 4 months without self harm and just cause you have self harmed that doesn't make it any less fantastic that you went 4 months.

If you need anything at all then I am happy to listen. Stay strong, you can get through this :)

Prozac August 12th 2009 12:12 AM

Re: -_-'
Hey Mi Sun,

It's okay. You haven't screwed anything up, you've been doing really well.

Don't feel bad about this, learn from it. You've done it now and you can put it in the past and you regret it. It's okay to have slipped up, many people do, but what we then do is learn and try to move on. You have went four months without any self-harming and that is such an amazing achievement which is not to be forgotten about Mi Sun, you must congratulate yourself on that!

You said that it went so quick - if you get an urge to hurt yourself it's often best to try and take a deep breath and take things slowly. You may even want to give yourself a time period to wait - e.g. "I will not self harm for 3 minutes" - that can often help. It's also important to have a list of alternatives or distractions near by. You may want to think of your own things that you could do in the future or check out [this sticky].

Well done for your four months free though, Mi Sun, don't forget that. It shows that you do have effort and resistance - you have strength and you can turn away again.

Take care.

Perplexity August 12th 2009 02:59 AM

Re: -_-'
I definitely agree with what others have already said.

4 months is fantastic, Kotomi. When you end up self harming, it's easy to feel that the time you managed to be self harm free for doesn't count any more. This isn't true! 4 months is an achievement which nothing can take away. As you've proved that you can cope for that long without hurting yourself, and if you learn something from your relapse, hopefully you can go for even longer next time. So don't beat yourself up about it too much. Slip up's do happen in recovery. Recovery isn't always a smooth road; there will be bumps along the way. It doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down, what matters is that you keep on getting back up. You can't change what happened in the past, yes that's true. But, you can, however, try to learn from your relapse and do things differently next time. You can get through this.

You might want to check out the alternatives thread that Stephanie linked you to in her post. Not all alternatives listed in the thread will work for you, but some will. Try a few and see if they help.

I hope things shape up for you soon. If you need anything, I'm only a VM/PM away.

Take care of yourself.

Kokoro August 12th 2009 09:09 PM

Re: -_-'
Thanks a lot! :)
I will definately look at the alternatives and I hope to god it'll help me.

Thanks so much guys, i appreciate your replies.

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