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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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SpiderHan03 Offline
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So I'm Kinda Freakng Out - August 14th 2009, 04:14 PM

So I'm kinda weirded out a little bit. I haven't self harmed in over three days because I just don't have the urges to. I know that it's good that I don't want to hurt myself but it's just got me thinking...

WHY don't I want to hurt myself?

I've fallen into this perfect little nighttime routine. Get my pajamas on, brush my teeth and crawl into bed and read until my parents go to sleep. And when they do, I pull out my blade.

I just want to know if anyone can help me answer the why question...


"No matter how bad something is hurting us... sometimes it hurts worse to let it go..."




Last edited by SpiderHan03; August 14th 2009 at 08:28 PM.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
i_am_me_again Offline
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Re: So I'm Kinda Freakng Out - August 14th 2009, 04:37 PM

Hiya Han.

I think its great you are able to ask for help with your problems, I will try my best to answer your questions and support you with your problems.

So I'm kinda weirded out a little bit. I haven't self harmed in over three days because I just don't have the urges to. I know that it's good that I don't want to hurt myself but it's just got me thinking...

Why are you weirded out? I think its brilliant that you havnt self harmed....your right it is good, however if you do relapse and resort to cutting again you musnt blame yourself.

WHY don't I want to hurt myself?

Maybe you have subconsciously told yourself that it is a bad idea. I wouldnt complain that you dont hurt yourself, but if you want to know why, I would try and bring things up to the surface.... I think you may need counselling, because if you are worried about self harming, then you deserve help yourself.

I've fallen into this perfect little nighttime routine. Get my pajamas on, brush my teeth and crawl into bed and read until my parents gomto sleep. And when they do, I pull out my blade.

Its difficult to get out of a routine when one is set. However its good that you do have a routine. Just small light changes to your routine can set of more positive routines.
What you can do, firstly throw away the blade, you dont need it anymore...tell yourself its doing more harm than good. Secondly, slowly work on a different regime, instead of cutting, have a cup of coco, or maybe stay up a little later and watch a comedy film with your family,


I just want to know if anyone can help me answer the why question...

I hope I have answered you question...if not you can always PM me, or anyone for more help,.

Stay strong.

Jamie
xx


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Re: So I'm Kinda Freakng Out - August 14th 2009, 08:30 PM

Hey there Han,

I'm so proud of you for not self harming for three days, that's so good! I hope that you're proud of yourself too. I think that it's absolutely wonderful that you're not getting any urges to self harm.

I think that it is great that you're not getting the urge to self harm, Han, and I would try to discourage you from trying to question things too much. If you're not thinking about self harm then it's best to try and keep things that way, just be thankful and happy that you're not feeling any urges, try not to worry about it. I can understand why it may be difficult for you to understand why you're not getting any urges, but some people just don't for a while and that's a good thing. Your subconscious can be good to you sometimes! Just trust that it's a good thing, Han. I don't want to say that any urges will definitely come, but when you're feeling more stable perhaps you could make a little safety plan incase things do change in the future. That can be something as simple as just making yourself a list of alternatives or phone numbers/lists of what to do if you have any urges. I've found that that can be very helpful.

You're doing so well, keep it up and remember to congratulate yourself for each and every day!
Take care.
   
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Re: So I'm Kinda Freakng Out - August 16th 2009, 04:46 AM

Maybe at least a small part of you has realized that you're happier without self-injury? Maybe you've been surrounding yourself with good things that have distracted you from it?
Maybe you just haven't stumbled across a trigger yet?
Either way, recognize this as a GOOD THING, please! You don't have to fall into routines and patterns because you don't NEED self harm - construct, do not destroy. Maybe you will feel better, then next time you are triggered, if you follow those words. Create something beautiful instead of destroying something beautiful.
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