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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Shopaholic Offline
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Don't know... - August 17th 2009, 01:14 AM

So basically I have been wanting to hurt myself for the longest time. But I think I finally found out why. But you see now that I know it's (the urges) are even more intense. I really want to get help so I don't get in the "habit" agian. But I'm so afraid I really don't want to tell my mom because she would not understand (at least I think so). Secondly I don't know how I would even be able to tell my therapist. And my mom would be so upset I did not tell her and honestly that would make me more stressed, angry. So I'm basically asking for any advise you can give. I would appreciate it so much.

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Re: Don't know... - August 17th 2009, 01:41 AM

Hey Meg. (cute name btw)
I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with urges lately; but almost every sh-er has came across rough patches throughout their recovery.
Just remember that there are many people, including myself, who are MORE than willing to lend you a helping hand.
Ask yourself; would you're mother and therapist want you to suffer in isolation or let them know about how your feeling so they can figure a way to make things easier for you?
Also, check out the Alternative Thread. It's defiantly worth a look.
Lastly, I hope everything gets better from now on and if you would like to pm me anytime you get an urge or simply want to chat; pm me [anytime.]
Take care,

You will come to realize that what appears today to be a sacrafice will prove instead to be the greatest investment you ever made.
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Moyshi Offline
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Re: Don't know... - August 17th 2009, 05:30 AM

Hey Meg,
I'm sorry you've been having a tough time with urges recently. They can be hard to deal with by yourself though, and having someone there who knows and can support you may really help. I'm not sure if you've ever read through the Alternatives to Self Harm Thread we have here, but it list many things you can do when you have urges to SH. They aren't all going to work for you so try to test a few of them out instead of giving up on the whole thing if one doesn't help you.

I know that it's scary to think about telling someone else, and it does take courage, but I know you can do it. Your therapist is there to help you, and she can't really help you to the best of her ability if you keep this from her. If you're not sure how to tell her and you don't feel like you'll be able to talk to her about it at first, why not write a letter to her explaining your situation and give it to her the next time you have an appointment. This way she can get an understanding of what you're going through.

If you feel like your mom wouldn't understand SH, why not educate her a bit? Suggest that she do some research a bit to find out more about it. Let her know that you'd really appreciate if she could be there to support you and be there for you.

Just remember that TH is always here for you when you need some extra help and support. Take care. :]

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
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Re: Don't know... - August 17th 2009, 08:53 PM

How do I go about talking to my mom?

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vanillalily Offline
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Re: Don't know... - August 23rd 2009, 07:39 AM

Find as much information online about SH as you can and print it off, or maybe find a book about it. Tell your mom that you need to talk to her, and make sure she realizes it's really important and stops whatever she's doing to have an actual conversation. Give her the book/papers and tell her you've been wanting to hurt yourself, and you want to do something to stop thinking that way. Add that you really hope she tries to understand what you're going through and maybe that you're sorry you didn't tell her sooner but you were afraid (or substitute whatever you want there.)
Hope that helped at least a little bit!


Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar?
And did you miss me when you were looking for yourself out there?

Risk it all, cause I'll catch you if you fall.
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Re: Don't know... - August 26th 2009, 07:03 PM

hi sweetie-- you should tell your mom. she will more or less understand, but really she will just want what is best for you. she could help you maybe get a doctor but if you are not comfterable with that, talk to a school councler. if you tell the councler you dont want your parents to know, he/she cant tell them unless its life or death which this isnt! as long as you are not doing anything to yourself, dont start. keep your fingernails short so you dont find yourself scratching and stay away from sharp objects so you dont feel tempted. i read you have a therepist, it is their job to help you with things like that. my best friend in the world goes to a therepist because she used to cut, and she has gotten so much better!! good luck, if you need to talk message me =]
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