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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TearsDontFall Offline
helluva problem.
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Name: Elliott
Age: 25
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Join Date: August 23rd 2009

help?? - August 23rd 2009, 10:44 AM

I self harm... I started dating a girl 4 months ago who I had, and still have, very strong love for and told her that I self harm, because I thought that if she was going to date me that she should know... she said that if I self harmed to tell her please, so I do now... whenever I SH'ed I would tell her, even though it made me feel horrible to see the girl I loved worrying about me.

I have been trying to stop lately and I have not SHd for a month... Its killer and usually I will end up sitting on my bed holding a blade and almost doing it... The problem I am having is that she wants me to give her my blade that I use for SH to her so she can get rid of it... I don't know if I am ready to do that and... How do I tell her? I'm only ever happy when I'm around her and obviously we cant be together 24/7 and I just don't feel ready... What do I do??? please help...


im. just.... ME
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
noise94 Offline
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Re: help?? - August 23rd 2009, 12:42 PM

Hey again, Elliot! I hope you don't mind me replying to this thread, also. [:

I'm really happy that you've being trying to stop hurting yourself, that's not an easy thing to do! SH is an addiction, but it's one that can be beaten. And you are going to beat it, I'm confident of that.

I think throwing your blade away would be an excellent idea. If you don't have it there to tempt you, then you'll be able to fight the urges so much better! Instead of just giving it to her, and her going and throwing it away somewhere, why don't you both do it? I think in order for it to help you any, you have to be the one to actually get rid of it. She could be right there with you holding your hand, while you take this massive step! It won't be easy to let go of it, but it's definitely possible.

As for controlling urges when she's not around, there are plenty of things you can do. We have a wonderful Alternatives thread here on the forums. Alternatives are basically just things you do instead of hurting yourself, just things to distract yourself until the urge to hurt yourself goes away. You can find this thread here. Not everything on it will work for you, but you're bound to find at least a couple of things that'll help!

We also have a thread where you can track your progress along with everybody else on the site. You can find that one here.

Stay strong Elliot, my inbox is open any time you need to talk.
   
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Re: help?? - August 23rd 2009, 12:47 PM

Hey Elliot!
Looks like Knikkilah beat me again! Lol!!
But I think she's covered just about everything I wanted to say!!

Hang on...I know you can get through this!!!
Hugs


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
TearsDontFall Offline
helluva problem.
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Name: Elliott
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Posts: 12
Join Date: August 23rd 2009

Re: help?? - August 23rd 2009, 12:49 PM

thanks... to both of you, i hope i can get through it.


im. just.... ME
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Spirit. Offline
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Re: help?? - August 23rd 2009, 01:37 PM

Hope you can too!!
And we're always here for you!!

xx


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




HelpLINK Mentor - 2.4.2011
LiveHelp Operator - 18.6.2011

  Send a message via MSN to Spirit. Send a message via Skype™ to Spirit. 
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