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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Raptor Offline
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Angry - August 25th 2009, 05:43 PM

I promised my boyfriend to try and stop the self harming (again). I've been successful before and know I will eventually manage again.
But it's been one day so far, and already I've had extremely erratic mood swings (picking fights and arguments, flying off the handle at anything, to finding everything hilarious to wanting to cry).
Now (obviously) all of this is making me want to self harm pretty bad. Iíve restrained so far, by either shouting or hitting walls, but to be honest, Iíd rather self destruct and take it all out on myself than have to deal with these stupid mood swings and upsetting those around me.
I donít need to know a list of alternatives; Iíve read that sticky hundreds of times, I just need a new way of dealing with the anger.

I'm making sense of shattered dreams
I want you to be proud of me.

Freedom can be frightning if you've never felt it.

Member since 2006.
Recovering self harmer - Last SH 24/08/09
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Comatose Offline
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Re: Angry - August 26th 2009, 04:06 AM

Hello Raptor. First of all I want to say welcome to the site (although you aren't new-new, still) and I am glad you are trying to stop self-harming, I know its a very hard thing to do, escpecially on your own. Which is why I want to ask you why you are promising your boyfriend that you will stop? Is he helping you in any way? If not, its not totally fair for you to promise him that you will stop. Its great that you are trying to stop, but he should be there for you in the long run trying to help you out. When you are upset, you should be able to go to him, tell him that you are having urges, and he should help you fight that urge.
If he is doing this for you already, which it didn't really sound like it, then that's good.
Another option, (and a lot of people hate this one, even me), is seeing a therapist. They can help you control these mood swings and might be able to find the root cause of why you seem to go through so many. I would seriously consider it, because self-harming and punching walls is not healthy. I can't really preach to you about going to see one, but its an option.
Good luck and take care of yourself. PM me anytime.
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Re: Angry - August 27th 2009, 01:53 AM

Hey Raptor,
That's so awesome you are trying to stop self harming! It takes a lot of courage to go through this much and still not self harm. You understand punching walls and screaming isn't the right way to deal with mood swings. What works for me to take my anger out is punching a pillow. If you feel that its too light and you need something stronger to punch, buy a punching bag. I take karate so when I feel that way I usually go to class so I can get my anger out in a healthy way. It works when I get to punch and kick shields while being encouraged to hit harder. Maybe see if you could take up karate or kickboxing. If not, I agree with second above me, seeing a therapist is always a good option too.
Let me know if you need anything,

Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
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Nina Twin Offline
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Re: Angry - August 28th 2009, 01:47 AM

Hi Raptor,
I know it's difficult to quite self-harming, and I'm pretty sure the anger is now sort of a substitute for self-harm. It was your outlet and now you're stopping. Don't be discouraged by this, though. It's far better that you're getting angry than self-harming, and even though the people around you may not know why you're angry, I'm sure they would feel the same way, too. Keep in mind that the longer you go without self-harming, the easier it becomes to stay "clean." Stay strong!

Something I've found out that not only helps with anger, but sort of cures the urge for self-injury is exercise. Every time I feel like doing something destructive or yelling, I do a bunch of push ups and sit ups. Sometimes I even dance to some of my favorite songs to do some cardio. The endorphins that are released when you do physical activity are WONDERFUL. If you haven't considered trying this already, I would highly recommend it.
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