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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Snevarez Offline
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Unhappy How to tell someone? Telling someone.. - August 27th 2009, 02:48 AM

okay so i have a problem... When my family pushes me to the edge i have a habit of well you know... crying and knives arent a good mix... so usually i end up cryingmyself to sleep...well something bad happened this week and i ended up slippin and cutting... i see my boyfriend this weekend and i dont know how to tell him without him looking at me like im crazy... any help?
   
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Re: How to tell someone? Telling someone.. - August 27th 2009, 02:51 AM

They way I told someone was through a letter. I said everything I wanted to say in the letter and let them talk afterwords. Its never easy to do but once you do it, you may feel a lot better about it.


A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
Winnie the Pooh

   
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Re: How to tell someone? Telling someone.. - August 27th 2009, 03:02 AM

Hey Stef,
First of all, Welcome to TeenHelp! Glad you decided to start posting already. Talking about things always seems to make me feel better. If you tell your boyfriend and he looks at you like your crazy, maybe he's not the right boyfriend for you. Boyfriends are there to be supportive and help you out in times of need. If he's not going to do that maybe you need to find a new boyfriend. It is a good idea to tell him what's going on though. People close can sometimes help more than we can since they know you better. Like Celia said, if you don't feel comfortable talking, try writing a letter.
Let us know how it goes,
Alessa


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If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: How to tell someone? Telling someone.. - August 27th 2009, 05:35 AM

Hey there. Welcome to TH

Telling someone takes a lot of courage. You've proved that you have courage by posting here for us, which is an awesome start. I told my close friend what was going on first, and then opened up about it to my school counselor who had been helping me. It was not easy, but once it's done, it feels like a weight is lifted off your shoulder. Could you write him a letter? Or sit him down and calmly talk about it? Having support from him will be a step in the right direction, and could potentially help you.

Good luck! Feel free to PM!


There is always hope. PM me anytime.
SH Free since 10.20.08
   
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Re: How to tell someone? Telling someone.. - August 27th 2009, 08:02 AM

Hey Stefhanie

Firstly, welcome to teenhelp I hope you like it here and are able to get the support you need.

I think you are so brave to be wanting to tell your boyfriend about your self harm because that takes a great deal of courage. It is a huge step to tell someone but just think once you have told him it will be a huge weight off you. Then hopefully in future he will be able to support you with it and perhaps help you to get the help you need. If your boyfriend judges you and thinks you are crazy then he is not worth it. If he really cares about you then he should be supportive. I suppose thought it might be difficult for him to accept at first because it can be hard for people to close to you to understand why you would deliberately hurt yourself. Just be honest with him and it should go ok.

Best of luck with telling him. You can do it
   
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Re: How to tell someone? Telling someone.. - August 27th 2009, 08:14 AM

i went through the same situation with my gf and ill tell you right now its not easy... 1st off dont be afraid to cry, because its completely within reason to cry about something like that and your bf should understand :P 2nd off its not easy to say in person but it is alot more easy on them, but if you cant do it then just do it over the phone or whatever is easiest for you. Dont build up to it, just say something like look i need to talk to you about something really important, or something that lets him clue in to the fact that its a serious topic. hold his hand if it makes it easier for you. REMEMBER: this is not going to be easy so anything that makes it less hard is good to do. Aside from that, all i can tell you is that if you really care about him, you should tell him, and its a huge step to take. dont do it if you arent ready.

feel free to message me if you want to ask about anything else.


im. just.... ME
   
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Re: How to tell someone? Telling someone.. - August 27th 2009, 08:15 AM

i never really told them, i was at school when i did mine, let the blood cover my arm and dry, then i showed my friends.
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Re: How to tell someone? Telling someone.. - August 28th 2009, 06:50 AM

Well, if he loves you, he'll accept you. I've told 2 of my best firends, my cousin, and my mom. My 2 best friends were the hardest, because I thought they would have less of an obligation to stand by me. So, one day, my guy best friend saw my scar and asked me what it was. So, I pulled him and my girl best friend to the side and said to them, "Please don't judge me right away, but I have to tell you guys, I cut myself...." Then I explained why and told them that I couldn't stop and I needed some support. They both helped me a good amount at the time. So that's a good way to tell him. Just ask him to be opened minded and that you were just asking for some help.
   
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Re: How to tell someone? Telling someone.. - August 28th 2009, 09:01 PM

Hey!
Welcome to Teenhelp!
I think that if he really does care about you, he will understand. Everybody has problems, or bad habits, and everyone has different ways of dealing with them. Some healthier then others. I know what you mean though, it's scary. I just recently got brave enough to tell my mom, and it went well. It's better to have everything out in the open. And once you tell him, he might just be able to help you out of it, or talking to you when you feel the urges.
Good luck.
And if you need someone to talk to, I'm always heree. (:


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and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
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