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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I keep forgetting why I should stop... - August 28th 2009, 06:34 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't understand why I should. I get it hurts me, but emotionally, it makes me feel SO at peace with myself, and if I didn't have this unneccesary guilt, I would feel PERFECT, so what's so wrong about it?! I mean, if I cover the scars and nobody knows about it besides me, WHY SHOULD I STOP?! I mean I can't control anything else in my screwe up world, plus, NOTHING feels this good, plus, why should I go threw the pain of NOT doing it(like withdraw syptoms)!!!!!!!! Sorry, I just don't know why I shouldn't do it. Maybe because I'm consumed with this "addiction" but I just DON'T know why!
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Re: I keep forgetting why I should stop... - August 28th 2009, 07:13 AM

Hey Megan,

I can relate to how you feel about self harm. Sometimes it really doesn't feel worth fighting the urges to self harm and it can feel like the reasons to do it outweigh the reasons not to do it. It is an addiction though and that peace and release feeling it gives you only helps for a short while so you have to keep doing it again and again to get that desired feeling. It just provides a short term release to a long term problem. Self harm doesn't solve the real problem at all. It more just masks it and gives you more problems.

I don't know where your scars are but you might not always be able to cover the scars. What happens when the weather is really hot and you will be wearing less clothing... Will you really want to be having to cover up? Or not cover up and have people asking you about the scars you have. At some time someone is likely to see. Self harm just leaves you with so many scars, which you may have to explain at a later date. I don't think it is worth all those scars.

No one can tell you to stop. You have to want to stop yourself and maybe in time you will feel that you do want to stop. But no one can force you and only you can decide whether you continue to self harm or not. Right now it might feel like these is nothing you can control in your life but there will be little things in your life, which you must have a bit of control over. Even if they are tiny things. Perhaps you should write a list of what you would like more control over and see how you can have more control over these things in your life.

If you need anything at all then I am always happy to listen
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Re: I keep forgetting why I should stop... - August 28th 2009, 03:48 PM

Hey Megan. I know it's hard to remember any alternatives or reasons not to when you're low and guilting yourself. I do that too, and I know how addictive the rush can be of punishing yourself- whether or not you actually did anything. Thing is, you NEVER DESERVE it. No matter what you did or didn't do. It sounds like you're aware that you don't need this habit, and that's important even if you doubt it at times. You can get through this but it will be difficult and you need a support system; I know when I'm low I want to be alone, but force yourself to get out of your setting and go somewhere else. Keep your hands busy so you won't have time to think. Slipups will happen, but you'll feel so much better when you don't.

If you haven't already, go over all the things other than cutting that give you a comfort. Whether it's people, some art form, or other activity these are all infinitely better than harming yourself because they're better for you in the long run. Get addicted to happiness. Hiding your scars isn't fun at all, even if it's easy...I hate living with the constant fear of being exposed and then questioned by people.

I haven't dared to say what you have aloud, although I've thought of that argument several times: why stop? But it's not just your life you're affecting, although yours is the most important. Whether you intend to or not, people will not just not care that you're doing this to yourself. You have family and friends who care about you; it really hurts to see a loved one suffering, even if they say they don't care.

There's also the physical reasons for stopping; I don't care how careful you are, there is always the risk of infection or cutting just too deep one time. One mistake is all it takes to fuck up. I was SHing one night and happened to think of something that got me really angry right before I did, and I ended up with a cut that required 12 stitches. Not intentional. You want to stay out of the hospital. If you relish the little control you have over your life now, think about what it would be like to have even that taken away from you.

Please force yourself to talk to someone when you start to blame yourself for things; it sounds like you're your own worst critic so some perspective can help. You don't deserve this and you will regret the consequences of it in the future, so try to wean yourself off it. You'll be so much more free when you realize you don't need cuts to live.

I hope this helped a little; if you ever want to talk about this or even just distract yourself, I'm going through something similar right now and am always willing to listen. Take care.

When you say "never", I'll say "lie"
When you say "always", I'll say "true"
When you say "love", I'll say "you"
I'll say "you"

It gets better.
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Re: I keep forgetting why I should stop... - August 28th 2009, 05:19 PM


you don't deserve to be hurting yourself. you deserve so much more then that. you are such a unique indivisual, and you're beautiful on the inside and out. your body doesn't deserve the pain you are making it go through.

i know the feeling. "why stop?" "why shouldn't i?" but the truth is, cutting isn't the answer. i know it seems like it at the time, but it's not. those scars, those aren't going to go away for awhile. and i can promise you things will get better. and when they do, those scars aren't going to remind you of the peace that you felt. they are going to remind you of all the bad things that went wrong. and trust me, when you're happy, that's not something you are going to want to think about.
have you ever heard "fake it, till you make it?" it worked for me. i used to be so depressed, i was never happy. then i was pretending to be happy for other people, and soon enough, i was happy too.

i never wanted to stop cutting, i didn't think there was a point. but there was. although i couldn't see it at that time, cutting didn't make me feel better. it made me feel worse. the scars, the pain, it only created more of it. i think you should really try to stop. your body doesn't deserve it, and neither do you.

i have faith in you.
i hope you start doing better soon.
i'm always here to talk if you need it. always.

When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
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Re: I keep forgetting why I should stop... - August 28th 2009, 08:46 PM

Think about how you are hurting other if they knew. Also, what about how you feel AFTER you self harm not right after but like a few minutes later I know I feel AWFUL. If you cut what about those LONG sevels in summer? There are penty of reasons to stop I have between three and four months clean. I have had urges like heck klately but because I don't want to start over and have a few tricks to avoid it I have roughly 3.5 months or more.
You can do it, trust me it's worth it.
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