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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
rat Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Name: Harriet
Age: 27
Gender: Female

Posts: 25
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: July 29th 2009

So...I guess this is a step in the right direction? - August 30th 2009, 07:02 PM

Hi everyone, sorry, it's me again. Yesterday was my birthday...I'm 17...whoop dee doo. Anyway, I jsut got back from Cornwall the day before and so I knew my birthday wasn't going to be a big deal. So I got some stuff I wanted which was good. But, that was the end...I offered to go shopping to get food, cos we didn't have any and my dad like blew up! I mean, he thought it was ridiculous that I'd have to go shopping on my birthday, I said that no-one else was going to do it, but he just got angrier and angrier....I didn't even think I was doing anything wrong. Basically, my dad always gets really angry and then sulks, and it was making me upset to see him upset, he got even more upset when I made myself a birthday cake and then made dinner...and got really mad at my mum for not doing it for me (she was ill). I said it was ok and everything, but they had a really bad fight. So, y'know when you've tried to keep happy and positive, even though inside you're hurting? Well I managed to do that until they had a really bad argument, and then I just went to bed...kind of emotionally exhausted and I just lay there, with my blades right next to me. Then...I didn't do it..I wanted to come on here and get some support but I didn't want to kill a really good conversation in chat or whatever...so I just stopped myself, and I cried, loads...I can hardly ever cry.
So, the point of this was...surely that's an achievement?
trouble is, now I'm hurting again, for lots of reasons...and I really want to keep this up...but I don't know if I can.
Anyway, that's me!
xxx h

I hope for nothing
I fear nothing
I am free
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Comatose Offline
Average Joe
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Name: Amanda
Gender: Female
Location: Inside My Mind.

Posts: 140
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: So...I guess this is a step in the right direction? - August 30th 2009, 07:42 PM

Hi Harriet. That is definitely an achievement! Thats great that you stopped yourself from self-harming, its a hard thing to do. Next time you want to harm yourself, try to remember how you felt by not doing it and how you had added one more day of not doing it. Try to think about how it will affect you in the long run.
I'm sorry your parents are fighting a lot, its hard to listen to arguments, but try not to let it affect you to the point of wanting to self-harm. Have you talked to them about it?
Good luck and happy belated birthday.
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Philomath Offline
Love is > your mistakes
I can't get enough
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Name: Christina
Gender: Female
Location: Where the books are

Posts: 2,282
Blog Entries: 135
Join Date: July 25th 2009

Re: So...I guess this is a step in the right direction? - August 31st 2009, 12:25 AM

I'm sorry to hear that your parents are fighting. I know it's not easy to be in a family that fights, you just have to keep strong and tell your self that sh is wrong. Maybe the alternatives page will help you find better ways for dealing with your feelings. I am glad to know that you didn't sh, it definitely is a step in the right direction, keep it up! I know you can do it!

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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