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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Hot Liquid Neon Offline
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I am really starting to feel the need to start again. - January 21st 2009, 07:27 PM

I hate this. I havent done it for a few months, mostly because I havent been able to find a good "tool". I mean I get urges whenever I stop, but I can usually just push them back.....but now the urge is so hard to resist, I am thinking about stealing razorblades from the dollar store or something. Just because I cant get my hands on anything that will satisfy me.


I need to scream for you until my throat is numb..
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
love__me Offline
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Re: I am really starting to feel the need to start again. - January 21st 2009, 07:38 PM

why would you want to throw all your hard work away? You can get through this, If you need help, please let me know.


You are beautiful just the way you are.
Looking like a fallen star.
Don't listen to what people say.
They don't know the real you, anyways.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am really starting to feel the need to start again. - January 21st 2009, 08:59 PM

Hey,

You've come so far. It takes a lot of strength to resist the urges, and fighting isn't always easy. But that strength, it builds up over time, and you become stronger with every urge you don't give into. One slip-up isn't going to be the end of the world, it's not going to mean there's no hope. It's important to remember that nothing can take away the strength you've gained from fighting. Think about it for a moment, though. Isn't it nice not to have to worry about hiding marks? To not be locked into the addiction? Like I said, a slip-up doesn't mean you'll never be able to stop. But if you're about to give in to an urge, think about how amazing it will feel in a couple of hours, or the next morning, to be able to tell yourself you got through another urge - even though it was hard to fight. Keep reminding yourself of that feeling when you're having an urge.

Not having anything around to hurt yourself with may be one reason you haven't SH'ed lately but, is there another reason as well? If you wanted to badly enough, you could have found something before now. I'm thinking there was another factor keeping you from SH - a part of you wanted to fight, you were staying safe for a friend, anything. Try to find something now, a reason to fight. Whether it's because you don't want the scars, you don't want to be hurting anyone you care about, you don't want the addiction to set in again - anything.

Do you know what's triggering you? Knowing your triggers and the reasons why you want to hurt yourself can help, as you can try to come up with ways to avoid those triggers or eliminate them from your life.

You can fight this, don't give up. Let me know if you want to talk, take care.



how could anyone ever tell you, you are anything less than beautiful?| PM Me
self-harm free since 06.10.11.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
udontno Offline
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Re: I am really starting to feel the need to start again. - January 21st 2009, 09:00 PM

Neon, there are urges that are going to be hard. You've dealt with them up until now. These urges are only going to make you stronger and more capable to fight your SH addiction.

You are probably wondering how you are going to deal with these urges though? Are you currently using anything like alternatives? If you aren't, I would suggest checking out the sticky at the top of this forum. It is filled with things you can do instead of cutting, such as writing poetry or creating some artwork. If you aren't creative, then you can simply listen to the radio or do many of the other things listed in the thread.

Another thing that I try to encourage people to do is reach out for help. You seriously need the love and support of the people around you in order to beat this addiction. I strongly encourage you to talk to someone--a friend, a parent, a counselor, etc. so someone will know about your situation and can provide you with support to help you get through these urges.


--A
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Hot Liquid Neon Offline
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Re: I am really starting to feel the need to start again. - January 21st 2009, 09:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by udontno View Post
Neon, there are urges that are going to be hard. You've dealt with them up until now. These urges are only going to make you stronger and more capable to fight your SH addiction.

You are probably wondering how you are going to deal with these urges though? Are you currently using anything like alternatives? If you aren't, I would suggest checking out the sticky at the top of this forum. It is filled with things you can do instead of cutting, such as writing poetry or creating some artwork. If you aren't creative, then you can simply listen to the radio or do many of the other things listed in the thread.

Another thing that I try to encourage people to do is reach out for help. You seriously need the love and support of the people around you in order to beat this addiction. I strongly encourage you to talk to someone--a friend, a parent, a counselor, etc. so someone will know about your situation and can provide you with support to help you get through these urges.

Thanks for the advice. The problem is though is that I cant reach out, because my parents know I used to it and think Iam over it and if they find out im even feeling like doing that, theyll get me baccuracted (sp?) again. Not that that is bad but the psych said next time I am sent there for SI, he would put me in a long term place till I am eighteen. The people around me wouldnt understand and not only that, but when I used to tell people in search for support it used to backfire because they used to thimk that I did it for attention.
I know of the alternatives, and I usually squeeze ice or snap a rubberband against my wrist.....but if my parents see me wearing rubberbands they take them away......and well it just seems odd to just grab an ice cube for no reason.


ugh im so stuck.....


I need to scream for you until my throat is numb..
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
udontno Offline
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Re: I am really starting to feel the need to start again. - January 21st 2009, 09:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot Liquid Neon View Post
Thanks for the advice. The problem is though is that I cant reach out, because my parents know I used to it and think Iam over it and if they find out im even feeling like doing that, theyll get me baccuracted (sp?) again. Not that that is bad but the psych said next time I am sent there for SI, he would put me in a long term place till I am eighteen. The people around me wouldnt understand and not only that, but when I used to tell people in search for support it used to backfire because they used to thimk that I did it for attention.
I know of the alternatives, and I usually squeeze ice or snap a rubberband against my wrist.....but if my parents see me wearing rubberbands they take them away......and well it just seems odd to just grab an ice cube for no reason.


ugh im so stuck.....
Do you think that being in a long term care place would really be that bad? In some cases, for some people, it can really help you. Do you think that you could reach out to someone other than your parents. Check into your guidance counselor's privacy policy. You might be able to talk to them without your parents knowing.

To be honest, I think squeezing ice or snapping a rubberband are the two worst alternatives on the list. They are still self harm and ice can lead to another form of SH that you really don't want to get into. I would suggest finding some other alternatives and give them a try, some that are safer and aren't as noticeable when you are doing them.


--A
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Hot Liquid Neon Offline
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Re: I am really starting to feel the need to start again. - January 21st 2009, 09:36 PM

A long term place wouldnt be too bad.......but, it would ruin my future. By some suprise, as messed up as iam, Iam a collegebound AP student........being in a long term would demolish that.

I am already seeing the school counselor, but for depression, the thing is, I know she would tell my parents if I told her........


I need to scream for you until my throat is numb..
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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
udontno Offline
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Re: I am really starting to feel the need to start again. - January 21st 2009, 09:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot Liquid Neon View Post
A long term place wouldnt be too bad.......but, it would ruin my future. By some suprise, as messed up as iam, Iam a collegebound AP student........being in a long term would demolish that.

I am already seeing the school counselor, but for depression, the thing is, I know she would tell my parents if I told her........
Do you think you could look into schooling options at a long term place? Some places will allow your work to be sent to you and give you time to do it. Other facilities even have their own schooling systems. That's something that you really should look into. Or, if you have the money, you could look into something like S.A.F.E Alternatives over the summer. They have summer programs now and they are supposedly the best in the nation, but they are rather expensive so I have heard.


--A
   
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