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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
imogenlola Offline
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Need some advice on how to cope on my own - September 7th 2009, 02:53 AM

I've been self harming on and off for about 3 years now. Usually I cut with like scissors or knives but recently I've used a razor too. Because it was summer I knew that my arms would be on show a lot so I have either cut further up on my arm or on the tops of my legs, but now I've started continually slapping myself and punching myself in the ribs. It's pathetic and crazy and I'm too ashamed to tell anybody.

Some of my friends know but they don't take it seriously because they don't seem to understand how deeply unhappy and lonely I actually am. I can't tell my sister or my mum because they won't understand. I know for a fact that they both think self harm is stupid and would just think I was doing it for attention (I have heard my sister talk about someone we know who self harms and it was clear that she would laugh at me if she knew I did it).

Now we've moved away, not too far from my friends but about an hour and I hardly ever see or talk to anyone anymore so I know we are growing apart. I have no boyfriend and to be honest, serious self esteem issues (which is one of the main reasons I cut). My mum and my sister work full time, and I never have any money so all I do is sit at home in my pyjamas all day crying and feeling unhappy. Now I'm even more lonely and I feel depressed. I go through phases of sleeping all day and not wanting to get out of bed. I just feel like there's no point to anything.

Sorry to post this rant but I just need some advice on how I can cope with this. There is nobody I can tell but I just feel so overwhelmed with it all sometimes that I just need SOMETHING to help me get on with life.
   
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Re: Need some advice on how to cope on my own - September 7th 2009, 07:33 PM

Hello Imogen,

I'm sorry that you've been feeling so terrible for such a long time, it's an awful feeling isn't it? Especially when you feel like there's no one to talk to when you're feeling low.

Have you ever tried writing in a diary? That can sometimes feel like you're not alone and you can say as much as you want as a diary can't judge you. Getting those feelings out in a healthy way is better than hurting yourself, even though you may want to so much right now.

If you're ever stuck for support, there is always HelpLINK and Live Help on this website, they're great when you need them. Also hotlines like the Samaritans are good if you need that urgent support.

There is a thread about Alternatives To Self Harm if you're interested in that at all, there are some really great things to do to distract yourself when you're feeling bad.

You can PM me if you want if you ever need a chat.

Take care.

xx
   
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Re: Need some advice on how to cope on my own - September 7th 2009, 07:36 PM

u dont need to say sorry u cant help the way u feel ! maybe a doctor would be able to help there scarey yes but there also usful people they might be asble to find local councilling u could go to with out u anyone nowing ur 18 so no1 needs to no doctors are confidental an safe people to talk to ! i understand they way u feel about ur famly and self harm but u need to find someone u can open up to let ur mind be free hav u ever tried writing it dont need to make sence just let ur feeling flood out it might help. what triggers ur self harm ! maybe try looking around to see if there a Sjh support group localy of even a little voulerring job just get u out and meeting people it hard but to make things better u guna hav to try ( not saying ur not) as u odviously want to change ootherwise u would hav posted this thread weldone for it it was th efirst step PM if u want to chat !
   
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Re: Need some advice on how to cope on my own - September 17th 2009, 07:38 AM

Realize this : you are NEVER alone! No matter how much u feel that
there r many places to turn to for help! U came here didn't u? That's just the start to reaching out for help. Coping alone doesn't work great at least not for me. Try the HopeLine or NineLine. Or pm me! I've gone through almost everything life has to throw at me. Get out there and find someone. Be patient and look. Someone will come knocking and help u. I'm here. Every member here I'd here for u. Pm me if u just wanna talk but try the lines. They help so much! GL!
   
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Re: Need some advice on how to cope on my own - September 17th 2009, 02:50 PM

Hey there,

I am sorry you are struggling but I want you to know you can make it through.

One thing you can try to better cope is to use the alternatives (http://forums.teenhelp.org/f12-self-...ves-self-harm/) They are really helpful when it comes to fighting an urge. One thing you should take into consideration is that for a while it might seem that they don't work but don't give up on them because with time your body will accept them.

Now, I think the best thing you can do is to talk about what is bothering you. I know it is hard but when you keep things bottled up inside it tends to build up and then you need a release. Right now that release is cutting. But, if you were to talk about your problems the release could be talking. Do you think you could give it a try?

Please hang in there and if you ever want to talk feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: Need some advice on how to cope on my own - September 19th 2009, 06:29 AM

Awww I'm sorry. Writing might help you, even if it's not a diary, just like notes to people(who cares if they actually read it...) or like poems or songs or something. And if writting isn't your thing, then maybe music or visual art is. I know some type of aritstic outlet might help. Or a sport. Sometimes, when I'm really mad, and I don't feel like writting, I just go outside and kick my soccer ball into my net again, and again, and again, until I feel a little bit better. And you're NOT pathetic or crazy for self harming, I know you feel it, trust me I know, but you're NOT and dont' feel that way about yourself.
   
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Re: Need some advice on how to cope on my own - September 19th 2009, 11:27 PM

i wanna update my post
u cant cope alone
no matter how hard u try
someone will find out and whoever they are u should let them help u! talk to ur skool councelor. but only do it when ur ready to tell ur family. most likely the councelor will make u tell them. like she did to me....
   
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