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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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My Love - September 7th 2009, 08:22 PM

Please Help me My boyfriend has started cutting. He got really scared when my mom threatened to call the police on him and he started cutting himself he has thirteen cuts on top of previous cuts he had.



   
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Re: My Love - September 7th 2009, 08:46 PM

Hey Oni,

I know it must be really difficult for you having a boyfriend who self harms but it's good that you are supportive and caring; that in itself will probably help him in itself.

It's okay for him to feel scared when his mum threatens to call the police, I think anyone would be, but maybe his mum is scared too? Usually when peoples parents react that way it is because they don't understand why their child is self harming or they are scared that something bad will happen. I think it could be that his mum doesn't know what to do or how to help him so she thinks that calling the police will make him stop. It might help your boyfriend if he sits down with his mum and tries to talk to her about the self harm and his feelings so that she understands. If that is too hard then he could always write a letter; you could help him if he wanted? That way if they both understand how the other person is feeling they can work something out to help them both feel more comfortable with things so that he isn't feeling scared and his mum isn't threatening him with the police.

As for the self harm itself it sounds as though your boyfriend needs some help and support right now. It can really help to have somebody to talk to about things sometimes, it sounds as though your boyfriend can talk to you however it is important you don't try and take on too much as it sounds as if it is hard for you to help him all the time. There are lots of people who would be willing to support your boyfriend such as a doctor, councellor, teacher, head of year, school nurse/councellor, family member or friend. You might want to show him a list of alternatives; we have a very good list here on teenhelp. If you want to see them just click here

Take care,
Jen


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sheltering.sea Offline
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Re: My Love - September 7th 2009, 09:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenn x View Post
Hey Oni,

I know it must be really difficult for you having a boyfriend who self harms but it's good that you are supportive and caring; that in itself will probably help him in itself.

It's okay for him to feel scared when his mum threatens to call the police, I think anyone would be, but maybe his mum is scared too? Usually when peoples parents react that way it is because they don't understand why their child is self harming or they are scared that something bad will happen. I think it could be that his mum doesn't know what to do or how to help him so she thinks that calling the police will make him stop. It might help your boyfriend if he sits down with his mum and tries to talk to her about the self harm and his feelings so that she understands. If that is too hard then he could always write a letter; you could help him if he wanted? That way if they both understand how the other person is feeling they can work something out to help them both feel more comfortable with things so that he isn't feeling scared and his mum isn't threatening him with the police.

As for the self harm itself it sounds as though your boyfriend needs some help and support right now. It can really help to have somebody to talk to about things sometimes, it sounds as though your boyfriend can talk to you however it is important you don't try and take on too much as it sounds as if it is hard for you to help him all the time. There are lots of people who would be willing to support your boyfriend such as a doctor, councellor, teacher, head of year, school nurse/councellor, family member or friend. You might want to show him a list of alternatives; we have a very good list here on teenhelp. If you want to see them just click here

Take care,
Jen
his mom doesnt know. his mom and my mom got into a falling out about us dating bcuz of our age and bcuz my mom is overprotective.



   
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