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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lil'OrphanAnnie Offline
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setback! *possible trigger* - January 22nd 2009, 07:17 AM

ugh, after a year of not self harming, i lost it tonight, I just went right to my clicker and did it. Im so ashamed of myself. I dont know what triggered it really, i just felt so alone and wanted to feel something other than that. Oh well i failed yet again.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Lozzaa Offline
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Re: setback! *possible trigger* - January 22nd 2009, 07:22 AM

hey, you've not failed. You've slipped up. You can start again. Try and Stay SH free for longer next time, this being your goal to beat. I know you can do it! Keep Positive""

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: setback! *possible trigger* - January 22nd 2009, 07:50 AM

Hi there. :]

Relapsing is actually an important part of the recovery process. Every time we relapse, we learn more about what triggers us. By thinking about how the relapse could have been prevented, we learn new things to try on our path to recovery. Relapse can also help keep us on our toes: sometimes when we haven't self-harmed in a long time, we assume we're "better" and no longer need to keep using self-help techniques, see a therapist, etc. Sadly, this is not always the case, and relapse can serve as a useful reminder. Slip-ups are nothing more than a performance check - if recognised as such, they are not any reason to be ashamed, guilty or annoyed. See them as nothing more than a tool... a reminder. Slipping up is as much a part of giving up, or beating self harm, as that first decision to quit. A great deal of it is about frame of mind, followed up by mental strength.

When you end up self-harming, it's easy to feel that the weeks, months that you managed to be self harm free don't count any more and have gone. This isn't true! You've proved that you can cope for that long without hurting yourself, and if you learn something from your relapse, hopefully you can go for even longer next time. So don't beat yourself up about it too much.

If you keep track of exactly how long it is since you last self-harmed, try not to think of yourself as being back at square one. You have still achieved something, and you can learn from this experience. It might help to tell yourself something like, "I've only self-harmed once this year," rather than, "It's only been a day since I last self-harmed." Every minute, hour, day IS an achievement and shows how far you have come. You have come such a long way, because 1 year, is such a long time and something to be proud of.

It can be helpful to try and learn from the experience. Maybe try to write down exactly what happened that lead up to you self-harming? And then and try to ask yourself if you could have done anything differently that wouldn't have resulted in you self-harming. Alternatively, are there any changes you could make now to prevent something similar from happening in future? One idea could be trying to build up a good support network, who you can turn to when you need some support/advice with trying to beat self harm. Remember, you'll always have us here at TeenHelp to turn too. Your not alone with this.

Remember, the idea isn't to beat yourself up about the things you did "wrong". Slip ups can make you feel as though all your hard work has gone, but don't see them as the end, or anything close; they are part of the process, in a greater or lesser degree, and they are far from being a ladder back to square one. It's OK to make mistakes, and not everything that contributed to you self-harming will have been your responsibility or under your control. The idea is just to learn what you can from the experience, look at what you could have done differently, find better ways of coping with the stuff you can't control.

Take care and let me know if you need anything.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: setback! *possible trigger* - January 22nd 2009, 11:28 AM

I have to agree all the way with you. It's a slip up, and you can get through this! I'm here if you need to talk.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaz View Post
Hi there. :]
Relapsing is actually an important part of the recovery process. Every time we relapse, we learn more about what triggers us. By thinking about how the relapse could have been prevented, we learn new things to try on our path to recovery. Relapse can also help keep us on our toes: sometimes when we haven't self-harmed in a long time, we assume we're "better" and no longer need to keep using self-help techniques, see a therapist, etc. Sadly, this is not always the case, and relapse can serve as a useful reminder. Slip-ups are nothing more than a performance check - if recognised as such, they are not any reason to be ashamed, guilty or annoyed. See them as nothing more than a tool... a reminder. Slipping up is as much a part of giving up, or beating self harm, as that first decision to quit. A great deal of it is about frame of mind, followed up by mental strength.

When you end up self-harming, it's easy to feel that the weeks, months that you managed to be self harm free don't count any more and have gone. This isn't true! You've proved that you can cope for that long without hurting yourself, and if you learn something from your relapse, hopefully you can go for even longer next time. So don't beat yourself up about it too much.

If you keep track of exactly how long it is since you last self-harmed, try not to think of yourself as being back at square one. You have still achieved something, and you can learn from this experience. It might help to tell yourself something like, "I've only self-harmed once this year," rather than, "It's only been a day since I last self-harmed." Every minute, hour, day IS an achievement and shows how far you have come. You have come such a long way, because 1 year, is such a long time and something to be proud of.

It can be helpful to try and learn from the experience. Maybe try to write down exactly what happened that lead up to you self-harming? And then and try to ask yourself if you could have done anything differently that wouldn't have resulted in you self-harming. Alternatively, are there any changes you could make now to prevent something similar from happening in future? One idea could be trying to build up a good support network, who you can turn to when you need some support/advice with trying to beat self harm. Remember, you'll always have us here at TeenHelp to turn too. Your not alone with this.

Remember, the idea isn't to beat yourself up about the things you did "wrong". Slip ups can make you feel as though all your hard work has gone, but don't see them as the end, or anything close; they are part of the process, in a greater or lesser degree, and they are far from being a ladder back to square one. It's OK to make mistakes, and not everything that contributed to you self-harming will have been your responsibility or under your control. The idea is just to learn what you can from the experience, look at what you could have done differently, find better ways of coping with the stuff you can't control.

Take care and let me know if you need anything.


You are beautiful just the way you are.
Looking like a fallen star.
Don't listen to what people say.
They don't know the real you, anyways.
   
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