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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
freerider28 Offline
living life 1/4 mile a time
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Exclamation i really dont wanna live anymore - September 8th 2009, 10:02 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i felt like this for a while, wanting to just die , i suffer from ptsd and lately thats been getting worse, i just wanna go in to my corner and slit my wirsts and bleed out,

i seem i cant talk to anyone anymore , my mates dont wanna no and sum think im making it up to get attendtion, and my family i cant tell im to ashamed to say anythink, and my gf seem not to want to help, thort i cud depend on her , and now i dont think im good enough for her which makes me hate myself more, i really wanna sh so bad i die,

right now the only thing i can turn to is the rasor blade in my hand

im all alone and scared of wat i wanna do.

Last edited by freerider28; September 8th 2009 at 10:08 PM.
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aphroditelives Offline
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Re: i really dont wanna live anymore - September 9th 2009, 03:12 AM

u may want to.. but ur life is worth living, u know it. do u know how many people would miss you? too many.
i dnt kno what else to say, im supposed to discouraage u from self harm, but i want u to realize why ur life is worth living, and why u shud stay alive.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i really dont wanna live anymore - September 9th 2009, 11:21 AM

If you can't tell your family, how about going to your doctor, and seeing if he could refer you to a therapist or something along those lines, just to give you some form of fall back, and help you feel more optimistic about life,

Self harm in situations like this, or situations at all, is not the way to go, Yeah, it will give you a release for a while. but when you come down from that, you're going to probably feel worse, instead why dont you try some alternatives, like reading, painting, writing, or something along those lines, waking up the next day and realising you havent cut, is gonig to make you feel better than cutting in the first place.

And if you feel like you cant talk to anyone still, you've always got us at Th
Take care.x


"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".

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Re: i really dont wanna live anymore - September 9th 2009, 11:43 AM

Hey Sean,

I am really sorry that you are feeling like this. It is horrible when people let you down and people that are meant to be there are not especially when things are really bad and you really need them. It does make you realise who your true friends are. If your friends were true friends then they would be being supportive. I guess some people may think it is for attention because they don't understand self harm so they make judgements.

You shouldn't be ashamed to tell your family because they could be supportive if you told them. What you are feeling isn't your fault and if you could help how you feel right now then I think you would. Just like if you could stop self harming you probably would but it is so addictive so will take time. People will want to help you but right now they probably don't know how you are feeling so they can't help. You have to push yourself to reach out for that help. Like Lauren said you could speak to your doctor about how you feel if you feel unable to talk with family.

Stay strong
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Re: i really dont wanna live anymore - September 9th 2009, 12:11 PM

Hi Sean,

It must be very difficult for you to deal with the emotions that you're facing right now, I'm sorry that you're suffering from all of these things.

When you're feeling upset or when you want to hurt yourself it is vital that you do manage to talk to someone how you're feeling and try looking at alternative things that you can do rather than as you've said, 'turn to the razor blade'. There are people who want to help you, you could try talking to an adult that you trust or a professional (It would also be good to talk to medical professional about your PTSD and see if there is any extra help you could receive) and there is a list of alternatives [here]. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and you are most certainly not alone, Sean. Things can get better for you and they will, if you manage to try and reach out for some help and try and put some effort into trying out alternatives which is hard, but you can do it as you are a strong person.

Take care.
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katara317 Offline
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Re: i really dont wanna live anymore - September 17th 2009, 06:28 AM

I know how u feel. Life can be the pits. Ppl insulting u, friends betraying u, loved ones dying. Just realize a few things
1. If u were gone, your family would feel really down and miss u too much! Ur spirit would live with the guilt. They would miss u even if u think they hate u. They luv u a lot
2. No matter how old, u still have a long life ahead of u! U can win many awards, do great things, and help others in the future! But u can't help or do anything if your book ends now
3.even if ur fighting with ur friends they would miss u tons! What r they supposted to do when they wanna chat or call? Their friend is dead
4.(if a loved one died) u carry a piece of a disceased loved ones legasy and that can't be carried on if ur dead. U may get to see them later in afterlife but what r u supposted to say to them? " life got too much so I never fulfilled my goal in life,"? U have some point in life and Youll never know it if u end it now. And ur goal in life is not suicide.
Hope this helps!
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