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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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My friend... - September 12th 2009, 03:03 PM

I just found out that my friend (who I was crushing on before) started to SH yesterday for (what I know) the first time. She had been fighting with a (girl) friend of her, and a (guy) friend who is like a brother to her. He had said that she hadn't been herself lately and stuff.

I know she's struggling with stuff, but I didn't know it was this bad. And now I don't know what to do! Should I talk to her about it, or wait until she talks to me about it again? How will I manage to take care of her while I'm struggling not to fall back into SH myself?

Very thankful for answers/suggestions

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Re: My friend... - September 12th 2009, 03:12 PM

I'd make the first move and talk to her about it. If you are both struggling with problems and SH then you can help each other through it because it's better then trying to get through it on your own as you'll both have someone their supporting and helping you through it.
   
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Re: My friend... - September 12th 2009, 04:07 PM

How did you find out? If I were you, I'd tell her that you're ALWAYS there to talk to, and you'd never be judgemental about it, and that you'd listen and help her out no matter what she wanted to talk about.
   
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Re: My friend... - September 12th 2009, 05:51 PM

Thanks for your replies.
Megan; I asked how she were, she said no good, I asked what was wrong and then she told me. Unfortunetly I had to sign of just a few minutes later, but I told her that I hope it gets better between her and her friends, and that I'm there for her.

I'm not so sure though that I'm willing to 'come out' as a SH-er, or ex SH-er, but I will be there to support her the best way I can.


If you want to; check out my poems and stuff under the "Self Expression"-forum.

You are BEAUTIFUL! <3

Always remember to smile!
   
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Re: My friend... - September 12th 2009, 11:00 PM

Hi

I think you are already doing the best possible thing; supporting her. You could try and get her some help and support from an adult such as a doctor, her family or another adult. If she has somebody to talk to it might help her to feel better and stop self harming. We have a self harm alternatives thread here which has lots of ideas of things to do instead of self harming so you might want to show this to her and even have a look yourself if you are struggling with self harm too. Click here if you want to take a look at that. Its important you look after yourself too; it can be really straining to support somebody for anyone so if you need some help too it is okay to ask or let her know you need some time for yourself. You don't need to come out as a self harmer/ex self harmer if you don't want to; that is totally your decision.

Take care,
Jen.


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Re: My friend... - September 16th 2009, 04:15 AM

I agree with Jenn X, support and care is really what she needs, I find whenever me friends tell me they care, it gives me this great boost, I hope everything works out.
   
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Re: My friend... - September 20th 2009, 12:32 PM

May be SH-triggering. Don't read on if you're easily triggered.

I saw her this past friday. It was awful. I tried talking to her about it, but, ofcourse, she didn't want to. I did, however, find out what caused her to 'break'... But just to see her. To see them... It was awful. And I meet her like once or twice a week... Ugh...

I did, however, talk to a friend (who doesn't know her) about it yesterday. It felt good to let it out, but at the same time I don't want to put any burden on the girl I talked to, who I know has been SH-ing before... I did however tell her that I've done it too, and it feels good to have someone I can talk to about it IRL...

A big thanks to all of you who replied <3


If you want to; check out my poems and stuff under the "Self Expression"-forum.

You are BEAUTIFUL! <3

Always remember to smile!
   
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