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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Angry Why I continue to cut.... - September 19th 2009, 05:16 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I keep cutting, because my opinion doesn't matter, and that means I can't express myself. I'm 13, and I'm starting to find stuff out about myself, but my mom thinks I can't chose what religion I believe in, my parents think I don't understand the fact they're not in love but refuse to divorce, my writting's never good enough, I can't chose the instrument I play, I can't be a vegiterian, I can't have my own causes to stand up for, I can't have my own politcal veiws, my sexuality is "just a phase" and I can't write, because it's never good enough, so if I do write, I can't do anything with it! Plus, the fact I SUCK at friendships, whenever I have a best freind, it just gets screwed up! UGH I can't chose ANYTHING for myself, and it makes me SOOOO angry, and I feel like when I cut, not only does it relieve my stress, it also makes me feel like I'm in control, and it drowns out the emotional pain. So yeah, I don't think I can ever quit now! Sorry, I just had to let that out!
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Re: Why I continue to cut.... - September 19th 2009, 05:56 AM

Hi, Megan. I'm Hannah. First, BREATHE. It sounds stupid, but sometimes it's easy to forget. You're thirteen, you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't give up now. Please. Let's try to take this one thing at a time. Please bear with me and keep an open mind to what I'm suggesting.
About religion, you're way ahead of most people in thinking that you can choose your own religion. Most people just go with whatever their parents believe. Why does it matter what your mom thinks? You don't have to discuss your religious beliefs with her in depth. And if it comes down to it, lie. I normally wouldn't say that, but this is an issue that causes you a lot of stress, so I think it's perfectly understandable.
Your parents' relationship- while it definitely affects you- isn't something that you can change. That's for them to deal with, and that doesn't mean that it couldn't hurt you, but it's just not yours to deal with.
All the other things that you say you can't do.. is that honestly what you think or is that what someone is telling you? Because I really really doubt that all that is true. You're worth more than you know. I know that, and I don't even know you- so imagine if I did.
Also, as a teen it's gonna be really hard to find a friend that will stick with you. There's gonna be drama and stupid crap like that, but it gets better. Just right now everyone is still finding themselves and their place. It will settle down eventually.

Megan, I know cutting feels like it helps. Believe me, I've been there. I'm still working on my own recovery. I've been working on it for nearly two years. But it's not worth it. You're not solving anything. There are so many other ways to deal with things. There's a whole list of alternatives up at the top of the SH forums. Check it out sometime. Honey, I've been where you are, and it can get better.

You can message me if you ever need anything.

With hope,
Hannah <3

ps- you don't have to be good at it to write. you can write just because you like it and because it's an outlet for your feelings. you never know when you will touch on something that could change someone's life

Hang in there.
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Re: Why I continue to cut.... - September 20th 2009, 06:52 PM

hey, i would love to chat to you iam 14 now and iam going trough the same so if u have face book add me Dian micheal marcovecchio. or send me a private msg.
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Re: Why I continue to cut.... - September 20th 2009, 09:36 PM

Hey there Megan,
Sorry you are going through such a rough time. I remember when I was 13 all I wanted was freedom from my parents. It can be tough wanting space while your parents just want to keep you sheltered. Have you tried talking to them yet? I know you feel like they would not understand but it's worth a try! Just tell them you need some space and feel like you need to start making your own decisions. Just because you don't have the chance to do things by yourself doesn't mean you can't. You just need a chance. Hope this helps!

Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
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