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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: cassieee.
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and it's over. - September 21st 2009, 10:13 PM

why should i bother caring anymore rather or not i quit cutting when it obv. is the only thing that makes me happy. i know i shouldn't but since when do i do things that i shouldn't do.

when i say seventy-five days, it seems like along time but when i say it as two month and two weeks...ehh, not so much. besides, if i went this long once i can easily do it again. i can quit eventually. just not now.

i was going to last night but i had to make myself stay in bed and i was basically like "God, if I don't fall asleep now, i'm gonna get up" and amazingly i fell asleep.

but today, that's all i could think about.
"when i get home, i'm doing it, i'm cutting end of story."
and i am.

i think.

when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Arcenciel Offline
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Re: and it's over. - September 21st 2009, 10:26 PM

"God, if I don't fall asleep now, i'm gonna get up"
He does that to me, too

The question is why should you bother caring, right?
You should care about your personal safety because you know what? If you don't stop now when you truly believe you can, it'll be harder for you later on. If you keep going, it'll just keep on getting worse. I promise. If you don't believe me, just look at me. I spent forever saying "oh yeah I can quit in a heartbeat if I wanted to" but I didn't want to. Three years down the road look where I am. I've made myself my little pact to never do it again and I'm standing strong on it, but I don't want you to have to go through this. We're all here for you [God is here for you] And we all care about you so much. Nobody wants you hurting yourself. Nobody here at least.

I'm glad that you're reaching out. That tells me that deep down you really don't want to continue. Because people who want to cut don't post about it. They go do it. You want to stop, even if you don't feel it.

*hugs* I hope you're okay, and feel free to PM me whenever you want, and we can chat more. I'm here for you <3

  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: and it's over. - September 21st 2009, 10:27 PM

Hey Cassie. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time.
Seventy-five days is SUCH a long time, no matter how you say it. You have some self control. You saw that last night. You are in control of your cutting. I really wish you would try to hang in there for just a little bit longer. You can do it. Check out the alternatives list HERE. If it's too much, and you do slip up, that's OKAY. Just please be safe.
Hang in there.
You're not alone. You can PM me if you ever need to talk.
With hope,

Hope is real. Help is real. LOVE is the movement.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: and it's over. - September 23rd 2009, 12:00 AM

Oh, I hate that feeling of "Wow, this isn't a long time."
Partially because it makes me seem like I'm not strong enough to keep going when it's hardest... but also because I know I can get to six months.

But then again... how happy are you with SI in your life? There are probably reasons why you SI, and I'm going to say that you're not hurting yourself because everything in life is absolutely amazing. SI seems like it makes you happy, because for a moment the pain and stress and all the negative emotions disappear with the blade and the blood. But if it was true happiness, wouldn't a single cut or session suffice?

You lasted 75 days. That's so amazing.
You can keep going.
You're strong, even if YOU don't believe it, every single one of us does.
We're all here.

when you love and laugh abundantly you live a beautiful life.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Beautiful_mind Offline
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Re: and it's over. - September 23rd 2009, 03:14 AM

its ok to replase everyone does because breaking the habbit of cutting is hard but you have done so well so far, dont give in to the urges. one thing that worked for me when i was quiting self harm is whenever i had the urge or i was sad i would do yoga and relaxation. doing this calmed my mind and when i was finished the urge to cut was gone. this to may also work for you. talk to someone around you let them know what your feeling.
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