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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
katara317 Offline
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Unhappy its so hard... - September 27th 2009, 06:09 PM

Hai Hai!
ive been SH free for... 10 days now (HOORAY!) but its too hard for me. ive had urges to cut since thursday when some bullying started up again. ive tried the list of things in this forum but after im done with the task ( or during it) the urges start up almost immediatly again. i dont want to lose the 10 days i gained but i feel the need to cut. the blade is hidden in a cluttered room but the urges are bad enough that i want to go find it. i dont know how much longer i can last. the concequences to a contract my councelor made me sign are bad ( she tells my mom and will try to find more immediate help and her telling my mom is bad enough) but the urges are stronger. HELP!!

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: its so hard... - September 28th 2009, 01:40 AM

i have to say congrats on the 10 days,do your best hold out,you can do it.If you ever need someone to talk to you can pm me any time

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Cut free since March 6th 2013
Purge free since March 8th 2013
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
katara317 Offline
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Re: its so hard... - September 28th 2009, 03:30 AM

the urges are wayyyy too strong! i cant reach my councelor and its so tempting....
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: its so hard... - September 28th 2009, 04:08 AM

Dorothy! Don't give in, honey, you're stronger than you can ever imagine. Don't let this get the best of you. You can be in control. Try lots of different alternatives to get your mind off things. Here is the link to that thread.

Take care of yourself. Hang in there and never ever give up. You're worth more than this. You deserve better. You don't deserve to be in pain. You can be happy and whole.
PM me if you ever need anything.
With hope,

Hope is real. Help is real. LOVE is the movement.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: its so hard... - September 28th 2009, 04:21 AM

hey, i'm with you on how hard it is to resist the urge to cut. it's so hard, and that's why i'm so proud of you for your ten days! way to go! and even if you cut, you still have those ten days. cutting won't erase them. you did that and that's awesome. now you've shown yourself that you don't need it. always believe in yourself. pm me anytime if you need to
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Re: its so hard... - September 28th 2009, 04:45 AM

Ten days is really good, congrats on that! But maybe you haven't found an alternative that really works for you? Like, if you've been distracting yourself, try something that helps you think out your feelings, like maybe writing about them, or even just mentally sorting them out? Or if you've been doing a lot of stuff where you get out your emotions, maybe you should just try to distract yourself durring some really bad triggers. Like watch a movie that's supposed to be really good, or start reading a book, maybe drawing, or listening to some upbeat music? If you need anybody to talk to, you could always pm me. <3
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: its so hard... - September 28th 2009, 08:52 PM

hi. congrats on th 10 days! its hard to go even a few days, i know. my best friend used to cut. if it was me, i'd get rid of the blade all together not just hide it. THROW IT OUT! and i just have to say, how would your councler find out if you cut or not? i mean its good you signed a contract and that you want to keep it... if you are cutting because youre being bullied, talk with the councler about THAT! i agree with the above comment, when you get an urge go for a walk to clear your mind, read a book, take a nap, watch some tv. just remember, cutting wont make any problem go away and it wont make any situation better. its harming yourself and is very unhealthy and i'm soo proud of those 10 days. keep it up! set more goals for yourself, try 20 now. then 30. then 40. before you know it, you'll be at a year. then two. then ten. dont do things you'll regret because one day you will. be the person you have dreamed of being, and can see yourself being now and forever. if you ever need to talk, please pm me. good luck =]
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: its so hard... - September 28th 2009, 09:43 PM

is your councelor the only person you can talk to about it? maybe you should find someone your own age that you can talk to about it. i've never found it easy to talk to adults about my problems but the people my own age seem to agree and understand more. it is very hard to get past the urge at first but after a while you will (hopefully) feel better having stopped SH.

"it's okay to be messed up, 'cause there's five guys who are just as messed up as you." - Gerard Way
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Re: its so hard... - September 29th 2009, 09:38 PM

Hey Dorothy,

I hope that things are going good for you at the moment. I know that the urges can be strong but you can beat them. Self harm does not have to be in control.

As for the alternatives; the truth is that sometimes it can take a while for your body to willingly accept them and the only thing you can do is continually use them. Say you use them, the urge goes away and you decide that you are safe but then the urge comes back then the best thing to do is to go back to the alternatives and try again. You may have to use them for a long time before the urge goes away completely but that is okay because the urge will go away.

Please hang in there and if you ever need to talk feel free to pm/vm me.


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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
katara317 Offline
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Re: its so hard... - October 4th 2009, 11:32 AM

Hai guys! Thanks for all the tips! I got rid of the blade! Well kinda... I had a tough night on Tuesday cuz my dhs worker and councelor screwed up things and I brought a knife to school(the blade) but I handed it over to the principal and never got it back. Things are screwed up right now. I'm in a foster home and now I have to let all these people in and tell them all this crap! I hate it and I can't do it! My trust it still hurt from
past experences. Idk what to do. I'm not even supposted to be on here right now. Can you guys PM me all this kind of courage and help and stuff that'll help me beat all this bull right now? Also check out the thread in general health about my situation! Thanks!
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