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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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3ofHearts Offline
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It's nothing major... - September 28th 2009, 04:28 AM

I have an addiction with scratching my arms. I scratch them until I leave little sores, it's really gross. No matter how many times I try to stop, I really can't. It might be self hate, or low self esteem I don't know. Grief, I wish I could stop...It's something I've been doing since I was a little, and wanted to kill myself. I'm not even that far gone anymore, I just...
   
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Re: It's nothing major... - September 28th 2009, 05:05 AM

Hi there! First of all, welcome to TeenHelp. I'm sorry that you're dealing with some tough stuff but that's what everyone is here for.
Just because some people do worse things, that doesn't make what you're going through any less. It still hurts and it's still hard to deal with. Plus, scratching can lead to cutting and worse. It's so awesome that you're reaching out now when it's still early in some sense. Please, try to stop where you are. I know it seems like it helps, but I can tell you personally that it's not worth pursuing. It just brings you more pain in the end. You really should check out the alternatives list here for when things feel like they're getting out of control or overwhelming or if the urges get really bad.

Since you've been dealing with these issues for so long, has there been anything that's helped you in the past? Do you have someone to talk to? A friend, parent, trusted adult, or counselor can really help just take a huge burden off your shoulders and also give you some objective advice about everything. Remember, you can be in control of this. You're stronger than you know. Hang in there and feel free to PM (private message) me if you ever need to talk about anything.
Hang in there.
Hannah


Hope is real. Help is real. LOVE is the movement.
   
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Re: It's nothing major... - September 28th 2009, 05:15 AM

Things that have helped me in the past tend to be distractions in general more then people. It's never really been something openly discussed in my family, or even by doctor, but it's known and overlooked. I guess I get a lot more heavily into it whenever I'm stressed...

Thank you for the advice and list!
   
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Re: It's nothing major... - September 28th 2009, 05:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3ofHearts View Post
It's never really been something openly discussed in my family, or even by doctor, but it's known and overlooked. I guess I get a lot more heavily into it whenever I'm stressed...
I know it's really really scary. But maybe you could you talk about it with your family? When I first talked about it with my sister and then my parents, I was a wreck. I cried and didn't know what to say. But in the end it helped. We don't talk about it that much, but I know I can go to them if I really need to.

And if you know you start to do it more when you're stressed, you could also take a little extra time to pamper yourself then. Just little things like buying yourself ice cream or watching your favorite movie. Little things to help you calm down in healthy ways when you're really stressed. Try to relax and breathe. You'll be okay.


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Re: It's nothing major... - September 28th 2009, 05:25 AM

Hi there,

First, welcome to Teenhelp. I noticed you are new, so I just thought I throw a little welcome in there. =)

If you keep picking at your arms, it might help it cut your nails back. It can also help to wear long sleeves. Winter is fast approaching, so this can make it easier. I'm glad you that you want to break this habit and I'm sure with time you will be able to.

I'm very sorry that you aren’t having positive thoughts. Sometimes it can help to write all the negative down in a journal, then relax. I like to take a bath and listen to my favorite music. A great list of alternatives can be found as a sticky on the top of the self harm section of the forum. It is a wonderful list of print out and keep handy.

I'm concerned that you said you want to kill yourself. Do you want to talk about anything that is bothering you? I would speak to a trusted adult, such as a teacher, coach, school counselor, close family member, or friend, about how you are feeling. You are also more than welcome to PM (private message) me anytime you want to talk.

Hope everything works out for the better!
Take care.
   
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Re: It's nothing major... - September 28th 2009, 05:29 AM

@Hannah

My family is a bit...Well different. Self harm isn't really an uncommon topic in my family and when I've brought it up before years ago they just threw me into therapy, which didn't really help.

@Elizabeth

Dear, don't worry, I'm no longer suicidal! I haven't been that far gone in two years, but thank you for the concern.
   
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Re: It's nothing major... - September 28th 2009, 11:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3ofHearts View Post
My family is a bit...Well different. Self harm isn't really an uncommon topic in my family and when I've brought it up before years ago they just threw me into therapy, which didn't really help.
Then maybe you could bring it up again, but talk to them about what you think would help you and why you self harm. Tell them what would help and what wouldn't. Just talk to them when you're calm and not triggered or anything, and try to be mature about it. Most of the time it's just miscommunication and misunderstanding. You can get through this!


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Re: It's nothing major... - September 29th 2009, 12:47 AM

Hey =]
I used to have the same problem as you, not that long ago.
When I was stressed or worried or just annoyed, I would scratch at my arms.
Sometimes I did it without even noticing.
Most times, I didn't notice how badly I had done it until the next day when I had calmed down and realised what I'd done.
I stopped because I had these realy ugly scars all up my arms and even though I have only recently given up Self-harm, those scars were the worst and stayed for the longest.
I still have the scars and every day I see them, It's a constant reminder of how I was feeling at that time.

Please stop scratching your arms, It's not helping at all.
It will make you happier if you stop.
If you ever feel like doing it, just stop for a second and think "Do I really want big scars that I will be able to see every day?"

Scratching yourself can just be seen as another bad habit, like biting your nails, but it is much more serious than that.
if your not careful, and if you don't stop soon, it will get worse.
You don't want that.

You deserve to be happy and to not be doing this to yourself. =]

PM me if you wanna talk.


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Life is great!

   
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Re: It's nothing major... - September 29th 2009, 01:35 AM

Thanks Lala. :'3
   
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Re: It's nothing major... - September 29th 2009, 10:26 PM

Hey there,

I think it is great that you are asking for some advice it shows that you know this is a problem.

I think the fact that you can sort of talk to your family about this is a good thing. I know it is difficult to talk to people about this but it can help. I encourage you to speak to your family again.

They may put you in therapy but that is probably because they know that is the right thing to do. Therapy really can help with this type of thing but you have to find the right therapist and maybe that is why you had difficulty with your last round of therapy. I know from experience that if you do not have the right therapist for you it really will not work. So, talk to your family and explain your concerns about therapy and I am sure they will be willing to help you find the right therapist for you.

Another thing is that if you want your family to be more involved in your treatment and more there for you you should tell them. Tell them that you need their support and explain what type support that would be. If you need your family to lean on and talk to explain that to them and explain why that would help you.

Communication is the key to every relationship and it can help open people's eyes.

Please hang in there and if you ever need to talk feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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