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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Liz [: Offline
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Name: Liz
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Question Advice...??? - September 30th 2009, 12:49 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've been self harming...and haven't told anyone. I mean, I have, but only a really close friend. But now I think it's time to tell someone else, an adult that can help me. Because I really want to stop...but it's hard, and I can't do it on my own...I don't know how to start the convo. though...can anyone help me, tell me how I should start?

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forever_hannah Offline
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Re: Advice...??? - September 30th 2009, 02:37 AM

If you want to tell them in person, maybe you could take your friend with you. They don't need to talk for you or even say anything. But the moral support would be nice.

Or if that's too scary, you could write a letter.

Just tell them that you've been going through a rough time, and that you've turned to self harm to cope with everything. That you really want to stop, but you could use some help. Make sure that it's someone that you trust: a parent, guidance counselor, trusted teacher, or counselor/therapist.

If you're really nervous because you think the person might not understand self harm, you could print off some general information about self harm: why people do it, why it feels like it helps, how it's addicting, etc. One thing is that it might not be a good idea to go into graphic detail about specific times that you self harmed. On the other hand, be prepared to answer some questions or to nicely say, "I really don't feel like answering that right now, sorry."

Also, be sure to do it at a time when you're not already triggered or upset.

I hope it goes well for you. And it's so amazing where you are with this right now! You're doing so well. You can't do it on your own, but the amazing thing is, you don't have to.

PM me if you need to.
With hope,

Hope is real. Help is real. LOVE is the movement.
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Mikey Offline
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Re: Advice...??? - September 30th 2009, 03:21 AM

Hey there (:
Just like Hannah has stated, it's such an incredible thing that you've realized that what your doing is dangerous to yourself and that you should reach out for help because like most habits/addictions, their hard to deal with alone. Just remember that lots of people, including myself and many others on this website, are willing to help you. If your scared to talk to someone directly, have you thought about writing a letter or printing out this thread to let someone know about how your feeling? Could you ask the friend that knows to come along with you when you tell an adult?
If your looking for more suggestions, in the middle of an urge, or simply wanting to talk - feel free to PM me anytime.

You will come to realize that what appears today to be a sacrafice will prove instead to be the greatest investment you ever made.
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*Jen* Offline
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Re: Advice...??? - September 30th 2009, 09:28 AM

Hey Liz,

I just wanted to say how brave you are to be thinking about telling someone. That is a huge step to take and takes so much courage. But I think once you have done it it is a huge weight off you and you will have someone you can talk to about it and won't have to keep it all to yourself. It is such a scary thing to do but it will be worth it in the end. Once you tell someone you can begin to get the help you need and then things can begin to change. I think Hannah has made some good suggestions about telling someone.

I hope you manage to tell someone. Stay strong
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