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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Angels Offline
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>.< Im such an a$$ - October 5th 2009, 02:25 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My BEST friend and I are so close and so much alike.. We call each other clones... lol

We still talk but not as much as we used to last school year

She recently had a birthday/slumber party of which ,yes, she invited me to...

Seeing as how she lives 2 towns away, and my family not having a car.. I immediately assumed I couldnt go..

When I spoke to my mom, she said no but felt bad about it.. because she too loves this friend/clone.....

After a little convincing, my mom said if i could find a ride there.. that i could go.. YAY!! Awesome!!!!

So i talked with my friend and shes said her mom could pick her, her sister, another friend going to the party, and I up after school the day of the party..

I talked to my mom.. She said she was okay with it (this was monday)

Late tuesday night my grandmother was rushed into the hospital.. She had a 103 degree fever, fluid in her lungs, and some other problems i forget...

Thursday that week i found out that my grandmother was coming home friday (the day of the party)

Seeing as how my grandfather (who 3 months ago was given 5 months to live) was left home alone.. My mother wanted to go to their house, clean the house and make dinner for them the day she came home so she didnt have to do any thing but rest...

I had to choose whether i wanted to be with my grandmother the day she came home from the hospital or go to a sleep over party..

I chose to be with my grandmother.. I figured.. hey,... there will be plenty other parties but there may be less time to spend with both my grandparents..

Plus as i said my family does not have a car so transportation is VERY limited.. I only see my grandparents on average of 2 times a month...

So thursday night I phoned my clone and told her how i could not make it to her party and the reason why....

She said she totally understood and she wished me the best of luck..

However the following week she seemed to give me the cold shoulder..

She hardly talked to me at all and never answered any of my texts..


I finally hunted her down and talked to her yesterday.. I asked her what was wrong and what was bothering her...

She said and I quote (im reading the texts right out of my phone)

"People call and tell me just hours before the party and tell me they cant go.. I still havent gotten over it and I dont know why i fucking deserved it"

I apoligized, i dont know how many times.. I honestly lost count after 26... She told me how bad she felt and how abandoned she felt and she literally made me feel like a crummy, low-down, crappy piece of sh!t friend...

And.. I cut.. kinda bad too.. It took 20 mins to stop bleeding... Just knowing how much I hurt her.. made me break down... I couldnt take it..

I started thinking I made the wrong choice... Obviously I did.. But how was I to know that what I did would hurt her so bad?

I feel like a horrible a$$ of a friend


   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: >.< Im such an a$$ - October 6th 2009, 08:19 AM

Hey, don't beat yourself up about it. You did the right thing. You made the right choice. I suggest trying to talk to your friend again. If she's really your friend, she should understand. *hugs*


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: >.< Im such an a$$ - October 6th 2009, 07:13 PM

Heya Brittany,

You're not a bad friend at all. You needed to be there for your family and she should have understood that. She's the lousy friend for ignoring you because of that. If other people pulled out of her party a few hours before then that's their problem.
Sorry to hear that you cut yourself, I can totally understand why you did it. Maybe next time you feel like doing it try some of the alternatives that are you there? http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ has some great ways of distracting yourself from the thoughts.

Remember we're here to talk to when you're feeling low.
Try not to blame yourself for this, it really isn't your fault.

xx
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: >.< Im such an a$$ - October 6th 2009, 07:21 PM

You did the right thing! Family comes first ALWAYS! This " friend " is not a friend. And needs to get over you not showing up to her party. Things happen in life that we can't help. So don't stress about it! And please don't ever hurt yourself over a " friend " whos not even worth it in the end!


   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: >.< Im such an a$$ - October 6th 2009, 08:15 PM

Brittany, you did the right thing by staying with your Grandparents. You did what YOU wanted to do. While your friend is upset, that is life. Things come up. You are by NO means a bad friend or anything of that sort.

If she can't accept that a family emergency came up, perhaps you need to reconsider the relationshi you two have.

If she can get over it enough to speak to you in a calm manner, perhaps talk to her about just you and her going and doing something special for her birthday. Explain that her birthday is still very important to you, and you'd like to celebrate it with her. This is what me and my friends do when something like that happens.

Are you taking care of the cut? Make sure to clean it and bandage it. There's a first-aid sticky at the top of this forum you should check out and make sure you're being safe and not letting it get infected or anything of that sort.

Along with that, look at the Alternatives to Self Harm sticky at the top of this thread as well. Try some of those before you self harm next time, they can be really helpful!

Maria.



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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: >.< Im such an a$$ - October 6th 2009, 10:02 PM

Brittany, you did what you thought was best. I mean, you don't get to see your grandparents often and they're not seeming to do too well so you chose to stay with them. If she doesn't understand that, then that's her fault. You apologized so many times and she wouldn't accept your apology. I agree with Gidig, you may have to reconsider the closeness of your relationship with her if she isn't understanding of the importance to you of your grandparents.
Try, as Gidig said, to talk to her about maybe doing something for her birthday just for the two of you so that you can still hang with you for her birthday though you couldn't make the party.
If you need to talk, feel free to let me know and PM me or something. =]
Good luck dearie.
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: >.< Im such an a$$ - October 8th 2009, 04:31 AM

Hey there,

I know that it may have hurt your friend but in my opinion you did the right thing. You know, your family is going through a rough time and you should be spending as much time with them as possible; if you don't you might regret it in the end.

Now, I think you should try to talk to your friend again and let her know that you didn't mean to hurt her but you did what was right.

After you talk to her, if she still gives you the cold shoulder, you should just let her deal with it on her own. If you friend really cares for you she will be able to come to the understanding that you did the right thing.

Please hang in there and know that cutting will not solve anything. If you ever need to talk feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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