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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Self Harm Benefits? - October 9th 2009, 03:08 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Why do people cut themselves? I (and my outside perspective) see nothing to be gained by it, I mean why would you choose to inflict pain upon yourself?


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 9th 2009, 03:28 AM

Well for me I do it because it is a release of pain. It is the only way some people can express themselves. You probably don't understand it because you yourself are not a cutter.
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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 9th 2009, 03:45 AM

That might be why I don't understand but isn't cutting itself rather painful?


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 9th 2009, 03:52 AM

The short answer is "it's complicated". There are a butt-ton of different reasons people do it, but it's usually because it helps get you through really tough moments... for example when you're upset, angry, hating yourself, remembering something traumatic, numb, whatever. How it helps will depend on the feeling and the person.
   
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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 9th 2009, 03:57 AM

for some people, it releases emotional pain. The pain that is hard to explain to people and ever harder to get rid of. It's a way to release that pain and try to not focus on the cause of cutting. That is how I explain it to people.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 9th 2009, 04:00 AM

I myself use to ask the same question and honestly when explained to me i never truly understood it till i started cutting myself,and once you start you get stuck cause its so frikin hard to quit.There can be various reason depending on the persons, and there expierances.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 9th 2009, 04:14 AM

For me: well it moves my stress.

If I'm emotionally stressed out but can't figure out why.. if I cut myself it's easy to know why I'm stressing or why I'm upset. But if I have a headache and it's all too much then cutting releases those tears that won't ever come when they need to, and somehow it helps to relieve the emotional pain. By moving the pain, you forget about temporarily and it helps. But in reality... it doesn't help. It's only temporary and then your whole world comes crashing on you and all of a sudden you're stuck in the real world with proof that you can't handle it and it only makes it harder and harder to get through each day but it's unbearably addicting and the next thing you know you find yourself doing it when you're frustrated just because it's habit. If that makes since, you win a cookie. xD



   
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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 9th 2009, 10:46 PM

It was something I could control. It was simple. Yeah, it hurt, but it was a pain that I knew the cause of and could fix. When my emotions or anxiety got really out of control it calmed me down because it gave something to focus on.

It's not something you'd understand unless you've been there. But I don't recommend it.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 9th 2009, 11:56 PM

because I deserve to be punished. I am a worthless piece of shit and cutting reminds me of that.
   
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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 10th 2009, 12:07 AM

People do it for different reasons.
Some people like to feel the pain because they feel numb inside.
Some people like to feel the physical pain to take their mind off the mental pain they're feeling.
Some people like to see the blood.
Some people don't have a particular reason for it anymore they've just become addicted and it's become a habit.
And then there are those who do it for attention. I'm not talking about the stereotypical 'emo' kid I'm on about the people who want help but are scared to ask for it/don't know how and they think if someone notices the cuts/scars then they won't have to ask for help.
   
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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 10th 2009, 12:26 AM

quite often people aren't thinking rationally when they cut themselves.. they don't think about it beforehand like, "hmm.. what can be gained from cutting myself?" they just do it. it makes a lot of people feel better.. [obviously not in the long run] but it's very complicated.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 10th 2009, 12:27 AM

Well, you say doesnt it hurt? well I dont think so I dont think it hurts at all cuz it takes away my pain




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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 10th 2009, 12:31 AM

People do it for a lot of reasons but I think the easiest way to explain it is because it makes them feel better. I think cutting is hard to understand when you yourself have not experienced it.

If you are really interested in it maybe you could do some more research and get a better answer. I know that research, reading lots of articles and books, helped my parents better understand it.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind.../cutting.html#


This article looks like it might explain cutting decently.

And, the thing to remember is that cutting is a bad habit just like substance abuse and the reasons behind it are usually psychological and with time it becomes an addiction and even if the person wants to stop it is hard.

Jenna


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 10th 2009, 02:26 AM

It was a release. When I was alone, it was something to remind me that I'm here, that I'm alive, that I'm still doing this. It was something to keep me sane. It was to know that I'm still breathing, that I'm still dealing with this. It focused me. It put me to sleep too. I'd cut and then I'd sleep for hours because it drained me so much. It used to be the only thing that could put me to sleep.

Sadly, you reach a certain point where you stop feeling. I'd walk around numb and I'd cut so I could feel something. I was emotionless. I was like a robot walking through all the daily functions that a person must take. I'd take a time out, cut, and for a moment--just a moment--things would be right again.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 10th 2009, 03:00 AM

I do it for a different reason each time basically.
Usually

I'm punishing myself(usually because I got upset over something I shouldn't have been upset about)

To cope with my feelings.

To avoid crying.

To feel something.

To know I have control over something in my life, and nobody could ever take that away from me.

I'm addicted!
   
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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 10th 2009, 10:54 AM

It's hard to explain.

There are many reasons. I guess it all comes down to one fact: cutting makes you feel better. Whether it's an escape from emotional pain, because you feel like you deserve to be hurt, to want some control in your life... it doesn't matter why you do it, but whatever your purpose, it achieves that.

And, it doesn't always hurt. I mean, when I did it, it didn't always hurt. If you've ever seen the movie Painful Secrets (aka Secret Cutting), she sums it up pretty well. Someone asks her 'Doesn't that hurt?', and she replies, 'Only when I want it to'.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 10th 2009, 10:16 PM

I actually do it because it helps me to release the anxiety that I get, you see, I have horrible panic attacks and cutting helps to calm me down, but I also like the pain. It makes me feel better, feeling the pain and knowing that I'm still alive. Before I started cutting, I would have said the same thing that the teacher said and wouldn't have understood why someone would do that to themselves, but then I was molested and my whole life changed and I started SHing. I never thought that something would help me make me feel so much better and I never thought that I would have gotten to this point where I'm not cutting at least 4 to 5 times a day. I am beginning to find other things that make me feel better than cutting and I don't have to deal with the scars or the pain much anymore, but it's still hard.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 10th 2009, 10:19 PM

I've done it and considered doing it purely to think about something else than what my mind is obsessing over. It's hard to think about how someone hurt you when all you can think about is how much your wrist hurts from hitting in the edge of your desk.
   
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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 10th 2009, 10:47 PM

people do it for different reasons.
for some people its easier to handle physical pain then emotional pain.

i use to harm myself when i was younger, i was doing alot of drugs and heavy drinking at the time, which clouded my judgement. i would never consider hurting myself now.

i believe its a sickness, you can't really help what your thinking/doing.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 11th 2009, 04:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by L i v <3 View Post
i believe its a sickness, you can't really help what your thinking/doing.
I agree with Liv.
It's definitely some sort of sickness and you don't really understand or know why you're doing it or even why you're thinking of it. Eventually after you've become addicted to what you're doing and it becomes a whole other issue. Well, kind of.
Actually, I'm pretty sure the counselor I went to said that it's a mental illness but they didn't really know how to help it except for the anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, because it usually seems to "piggyback" on Depression, Bi-Polar, Anxiety Disorders, etc. However, that doesn't explain all the "cases" so for some there isn't really much they can do other than hospital care.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 11th 2009, 11:13 PM

You never really understand until you do it yourself. Which, you never should do it, so I hope you never understand.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 12th 2009, 04:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by IndigoViolet View Post
It's hard to explain.

I guess it all comes down to one fact: cutting makes you feel better.
I agree. Whether it was just a really bad day, or if I felt pissed, upset, or so empty or just something i didn't want to feel, I'd cut. And it made everything better. For that precious few moments when my world was clear, I'd be okay. I'd be fine.

Doesn't it hurt? When I was cutting, it never hurt. might have something to do with the whole endorphins thing and i've read something about replacing the emotional pain with the physical. Never really understood that coz for me it didn't hurt. It was a relief to cut. But, after. Yeah. Get in the shower after, and it stings like hell. but you know what? I like to think I deserved it. I wish I wasn't trying so hard to quit. But cutting isn't good. You might never understand coz maybe you've never done it, and if so, i hope you never do. Once you start, it's terrifyingly hard to stop. But if you read all these replies and maybe, just maybe you get an idea of what it's like, good for you.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 13th 2009, 05:18 AM

Because your logic is different from that of a self-harmer's.

You&the general population: hurt=unpleasant, meaning self-harm=illogical.

Self-harmer: hurt=distracting/numbing/whatever, thus self-harm=useful.
   
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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 15th 2009, 04:29 AM

People cut, not for the 'pleasure' of cutting - but physical pain is often welcoming compared to the emotional pain in their lives.
Sometimes physical pain seems real, material, concrete.
Whereas emotional pain is complicated, confusing, unwanted.
In a psychotic, morbid way, some people can be happy by cutting.
   
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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 16th 2009, 05:38 AM

it's very complicated..to explain because there are so many diffret reasons why people hurt them se4lfs.
For me it's a way of controll I get to controll the pain that is happening to me...it's also away of expression instead of crying or talking Ihold everything in until I just crak.


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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 16th 2009, 10:26 PM

Sometimes the pain you get from cutting is much better than the pain you feel inside. It stops that constant ache you get inside, the one you carry around with you all of the time and makes you feel so awful.
It also helps ground myself from flashbacks, I can focus on the pain rather than going into an awful place in my mind.
   
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Re: Self Harm Benefits? - October 17th 2009, 10:24 PM

There is pain on the inside. I make pain on the outside. Then after that first cut there isnt pain anywhere, physical or mental. By the fifteenth cut there is only blood. I'm numb for hours. It a great feeling. The problem is that I have to do more and go deeper every time to get that same feeling.
   
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