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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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BrokenGirl Offline
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told/why do i still want to?? - October 12th 2009, 03:39 AM

Hi! so, currently, i haven't cut in 2 months and almost 3 weeks! i think that's the longest i've ever made it and it's not like a ton of bad stuff hasn't happened to me since the last time! i've felt like slipping a lot but haven't! a friend of mine who recently found out i SI told our vice principal and while i could have denied it to her and the school social worker, i didn't and i told them! so my mother is supposed to be calling a therapist they suggested for me soon! so i have made progress! but i don't know what to do because i still want to so badly! why do i still want to cut?? i've been trying so hard! and yes, i have started having other issues (i think i have an eating disorder) and i don't know if having that has made it easier not to slip and to do that instead but i have been trying so hard to get better and it's still so hard! what should i do?

Leora
   
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Re: told/why do i still want to?? - October 12th 2009, 05:18 AM

Go to the therapist, talk to some people about your problem, and continue with your professional help. While it does help to know that you're on the right track, your body still wants to do what it was taught. It's hard to break old habits. So keep at it, and don't give in. The therapist will do what they think is right for you. Help is on the way. *hugs* (:

PM me anytime you want to talk. And congrats on taking the first step in getting help!



   
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Re: told/why do i still want to?? - October 12th 2009, 09:28 AM

Hey Leora,

Firstly, I just wanted to say how brave you are to have been honest with people and told them about your self harm. I think telling someone else about it is the first step to recovery. Not self harming in 2 months and 3 weeks is fantastic! You have managed to get this far and not give into the urges so far so you can get through this. I think it is only natural to still want to self harm because you might have talked to people about your self harm but I don't think you have dealt with the reasons why you self harm. Also self harm is so addictive and you can end up feeling like you want to do it just to get that release even when you know deep down it won't help.

You will get better Leora so don't give up. Try and get your mum to hurry up with calling the therapist. Stay strong
   
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Re: told/why do i still want to?? - October 12th 2009, 04:54 PM

thank you so much both of u! i know...i will talk 2 the therapist at least about self harm if i can't talk about other stuff...but i don't know how to get my mother to hurry up! jen, i'm glad someone thinks i'm brave! well u and mayb a few other friends! i know what you mean! i'm fully aware that it won't help in the long term but i just need 2 feel calm and get stuff out you know? luckily i just spent over an hour crying on the phone 2 one of my best friends who i never get 2 talk to since she moved! so i got a bit of that out! but it's still so hard not to give in to the urges...

thank you!

Leora
   
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Re: told/why do i still want to?? - October 12th 2009, 05:17 PM

You are more than welcome! It is good that you will talk to your therapist about your self harm. They might be able to look at alternative coping strategies you could use, which are better than self harm. You could rant as much as you like here if it helps you to get it all out and stop you from self harming then do it. It can help to just write down how you feel and get it all out. I am always happy to listen even if you just want to have a big rant!

You can get through the urges so don't give in Keep fighting, you are strong.
   
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Re: told/why do i still want to?? - October 13th 2009, 03:09 AM

ya...blah it feels like cutting's the LEAST of my problems right now (i think i have an ED and my stomach's been killing and i'm worried if my family finds anything out i won't be able to go to seminary and if courts find out they'll make me and my brother live with my father who scares me...)! but yes, whenever my mother actually calls the psychologist i will try to talk 2 her about self harm even tho i'm horrible at trusting anyone and talking! writing/ranting does help a lot! i cried on the phone 2 one of my best friends who i'm going to miss for over an hour! literally started bawling 2 her about my life outside a relatives baby naming brunch but it helped a lot! i'm trying really hard...

thank you jen!
   
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